I am a young married man, praise be to Allah, but less than twenty-four hours before the marriage contract was concluded, severe disagreements occurred between me and the bride's family due to
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The questioner : I am a young married man, praise be to Allah, but less than twenty-four hours before the marriage contract was concluded, severe disagreements occurred between me and the bride's family due to the interference of talebearers and envious people, which angered me greatly and consequently led to a mistake on my part regarding that wife before the marriage contract, as I mentioned previously. I said the following words verbatim, intending the fiancée: "She has not married yet, but if she does such-and-such after her marriage, she will be divorced." After the marriage between us was completed, a great understanding occurred between us the next day, to the extent that I agreed with her and gave her permission to do that same thing. So, does the divorce take effect or not? And what is obligatory for me to do? Knowing that my wife does not know anything about this matter until now, and what I said about her before our marriage, I am still, I am still afraid that she will find out, fearing it will spoil the harmony of our marital life.
The Shaykh : The answer to that is that what you mentioned of conditioning the divorce of this woman on the doing of one of the things has no effect, because that was before the contract, and divorce only occurs after the contract, because Allah the Exalted says:[Al-Baqarah 2:237] So Allah the Exalted made divorce after marriage, and because divorce is the dissolution of the marriage bond, and the dissolution of the bond does not occur except after its establishment. Therefore, your wife is not divorced by this if she does what you conditioned the divorce upon. However, you are required to pay the expiation for an oath in such a case, because the oath is established even for someone who is not a wife. So if she does what you conditioned the divorce upon, it is obligatory for you to pay the expiation for an oath. The expiation for an oath is feeding ten poor people, or clothing them, or freeing a slave. If you do not find the means, then fasting for three consecutive days.
The method of feeding is either to prepare food for lunch or dinner and invite these ten people to eat it, or to give them six kilograms of rice or the like, along with meat to make it a meal. As for clothing, it is clear: you clothe each person with what is customary, such as a shirt, trousers, a headscarf, and the like, because Allah the Exalted mentioned clothing in a general sense, so it is referred back to custom. As for freeing a slave, it is freeing a slave, meaning freeing a male or female slave. If you do not find the means, meaning you do not have money with which you can afford the food or clothing or the slave, or you have money but you did not find poor people to feed or clothe, or you did not find slaves to buy, then it is upon you to fast for three consecutive days. Finally, I advise you, my brother, and others among the listeners, not to be lax in pronouncing divorce and letting it run on the tongue, for that is a serious matter. Indeed, most scholars say: if a man says to his wife, "If you do such-and-such, you are divorced," and then she does it, she is divorced. So what is befitting for a person of intellect is not to rush in these matters, but to be patient and consider. And if he intends to prevent his wife from doing that thing, let him tell her that without saying, "You are divorced if you do such-and-such." And Allah is the One to be asked for help.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
In his second question, he says.
The Shaykh : The answer to that is that what you mentioned of conditioning the divorce of this woman on the doing of one of the things has no effect, because that was before the contract, and divorce only occurs after the contract, because Allah the Exalted says:
And if you divorce them before you have touched them and you have already specified for them an obligation, then [give] half of what you specified - unless they forego the right or the one in whose hand is the marriage contract foregoes it
وَإِنْ طَلَّقْتُمُوهُنَّ مِنْ قَبْلِ أَنْ تَمَسُّوهُنَّ وَقَدْ فَرَضْتُمْ لَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً فَنِصْفُ مَا فَرَضْتُمْ إِلَّا أَنْ يَعْفُونَ أَوْ يَعْفُوَ الَّذِي بِيَدِهِ عُقْدَةُ النِّكَاحِThe method of feeding is either to prepare food for lunch or dinner and invite these ten people to eat it, or to give them six kilograms of rice or the like, along with meat to make it a meal. As for clothing, it is clear: you clothe each person with what is customary, such as a shirt, trousers, a headscarf, and the like, because Allah the Exalted mentioned clothing in a general sense, so it is referred back to custom. As for freeing a slave, it is freeing a slave, meaning freeing a male or female slave. If you do not find the means, meaning you do not have money with which you can afford the food or clothing or the slave, or you have money but you did not find poor people to feed or clothe, or you did not find slaves to buy, then it is upon you to fast for three consecutive days. Finally, I advise you, my brother, and others among the listeners, not to be lax in pronouncing divorce and letting it run on the tongue, for that is a serious matter. Indeed, most scholars say: if a man says to his wife, "If you do such-and-such, you are divorced," and then she does it, she is divorced. So what is befitting for a person of intellect is not to rush in these matters, but to be patient and consider. And if he intends to prevent his wife from doing that thing, let him tell her that without saying, "You are divorced if you do such-and-such." And Allah is the One to be asked for help.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
In his second question, he says.