A Note on the Sunnah of Serving Drinks in Gatherings

The Shaykh: O our brothers, the etiquettes of gatherings are those that Islam brought. As for what Islam did not bring, it is not among the etiquettes. This is a broad topic, and if we had reflected on the previous statement, we would have sifted out hundreds of matters and actions that we are currently upon, including what we are dealing with now. It has become customary that when the server wants to serve the attendees, he starts with the eldest of the people, their leader, their best, and their master; that is the custom. But the Sunnah is contrary to that, and its explanation is in what Imam al-Bukhari and Muslim narrated in their "Sahih"s =
-- And where is your companion? The whole phrase is for the brother who was here, are you hearing? Welcome --
= al-Bukhari and Muslim narrated in their "Sahih"s from the hadith of Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him), and the hadith of Sahl ibn Sa'd (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) came to the house of Anas ibn Malik with some of his Companions, so he asked for a drink (i.e., requested to be served), and the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) was given a large cup (i.e., a big vessel) containing milk (i.e., cow's milk) that had been mixed with water (i.e., diluted with water). The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) drank from it, and there remained in the cup a leftover (i.e., the dregs). Ibn Abbas was on the right of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), and he was still a boy who had not reached the age of legal responsibility (and in another narration: a man from the Bedouins), and on his left were Abu Bakr and the elders of Quraysh. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) turned to give the drink to the one on his right, and Umar was in the gathering on his left. It seemed that Abu Bakr was hinting to the Messenger (peace be upon him) that he was the master of the people after the Messenger (peace be upon him), so the Messenger (peace be upon him) said to the one on his right: "Do you permit me to give it to him?" He said: "By Allah, O Messenger of Allah, I would not prefer anyone over the leftover of your drink." So he gave it to him, and said: .
Some people think that this hadith indicates that the server must start with the eldest of the people, because the server here started with the Messenger (peace be upon him). But this person overlooked that the server started with the Messenger (peace be upon him) because he asked for a drink; meaning, without any comparison, this small child, as soon as we arrived, asked for a drink, so we had to give him a glass of water; does that mean you gave it to him because he deserved it as the master of the people, the most knowledgeable of the people, or because he asked? Because he asked. So the Messenger (peace be upon him) in that gathering was given the drink by the server because the Messenger (peace be upon him) asked for a drink; as evidenced by the fact that he did not bring many cups, but only one cup. So he drank what he drank and a leftover remained. This leftover had to be taken by one of the people in the gathering. There were no cups like what you are now generously offering, coffee and tea and whatnot? No, there were not. So to whom did the Messenger (peace be upon him) give the remaining leftover in the cup? To the one on his right, Ibn Abbas. Abu Bakr was on his left, and he did not give it to him. Ibn Abbas was on his right, and he asked his permission to give it to Abu Bakr, and he said to him: No.

The questioner: He intended Abu Bakr first.

The Shaykh: He did not intend, no.

The questioner: Or he wanted to.

The Shaykh: Umar. Pay attention to what I say; Umar wanted the Messenger to give it to Abu Bakr, because he is the master of the people. But the Messenger knows by revelation from the sky that it is obligatory to start with the right, not the master of the people. So he wanted to draw the attention of the one on his right, who deserves that you prefer Abu Bakr, let him take it. He said to him: "By Allah, O Messenger of Allah, I would not prefer anyone over the leftover of your drink." He said to him: "Please, you are more deserving of it than the master of the people (i.e., than Abu Bakr)."
So it is not permissible to use this story as evidence that the Sunnah in general serving is to start with the master of the people; because the master of the people here was started with only because he asked for a drink. What confirms this for us is something else; and that is that when the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) drank, and there remained a leftover in the cup, and he wanted to serve; who is the server now, the Messenger or the one who gave it to him?

Those present : The Messenger.

The Shaykh: The Messenger, without a doubt. So if the server (and here the server is the Messenger) had the etiquette of starting with the master of the people, with whom would he have started? With Abu Bakr. He did not start with Abu Bakr, he did not give him permission, he said to him: "You are more deserving of this (the child)." You do not give it to someone older than you, this is your right. And so that people know that when the Messenger (peace be upon him) gave to Ibn Abbas and did not give to Abu Bakr, it was not an insult to Abu Bakr or a lack of appreciation for his virtue and his companionship with the Messenger and his migration with him; no, but because the Shari'ah says: ; therefore, when you say, "I mean, you, we are at your level"; first of all: this level, Allah knows the stations of people with Allah. It may be a man who does not catch the eye, but he is with Allah in the highest ranks. And it may be another man (may Allah forbid) who is eloquent and knowledgeable and people are impressed... from wherever you throw him, he answers; but with Allah he is not worth the wing of a gnat. So the differentiation with Allah, we do not know it. But what do we know? The apparent Shari'ah. The apparent Shari'ah says: If you are in a gathering where there is no elder and no young, start with the one on your right and be at ease.

The questioner: But a slight contradiction, is this a sin? Meaning, if we act contrary to the opinion of the Messenger?

The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar!! What are we talking about for this hour?

The questioner : ... .

The Shaykh: We will tell you, when the Messenger (peace be upon him) establishes a principle = -- And upon you be peace and the mercy of Allah and His blessings -- = when he establishes a principle and obligates us with it, contradicting it is a sin; when he establishes a principle or a Shari'ah that obligates us, contradicting it is a sin; meaning it is not permissible. But when he establishes something not by way of obligation, it is permissible not to do it. But here it is not permissible to contradict; because he says to you: , this is the Shari'ah, and why would you contradict it?

The questioner: ... considering you are the master of the people, considering you are the master of the gathering ... .

The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar!! This is our calamity, us; I am telling you that this is our calamity, us; because we, like us, those who have a little information, instead of having good opinion of people, and if people do a hundred calculations for him; the Shaykh gets angry!! He hangs himself, he hangs himself; because his anger is not in the path of Allah.