Alerting to the recommended practice of serving drinks in gatherings.
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The Shaykh : O our brothers, the etiquettes of gatherings are those that Islam brought. As for what Islam did not bring, it is not among the etiquettes. This is a broad topic, and if we had reflected on the previous statement, we would have sifted out hundreds of matters and actions that we are currently upon, including what we are dealing with now. It has become customary that when the server wants to serve the attendees, he starts with the eldest of the people, their leader, their best, and their master. This is the custom, but the Sunnah is contrary to that. Its explanation is in what the Imams al-Bukhari and Muslim narrated in their authentic collections from the hadith of Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) and the hadith of Sahl ibn Sa'd (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) came to the house of Anas ibn Malik with some of his Companions. He asked for a drink, meaning he requested to be served. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) was brought a large cup containing milk, meaning cow's milk, that had been mixed with water, meaning mixed with water. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) drank, and a remainder, meaning the leftover, was left in the cup. To the right of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) was Ibn Abbas, who was still a boy who had not reached the age of religious accountability. In another narration, it was a man from the Bedouins. To his left was Abu Bakr and the elders of Quraysh. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) turned to give the drink to the one on his right. And Umar was in the gathering on his left. It seemed as if Abu Bakr was hinting to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) that he is the master of the people after the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). So the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said to the one on his right, "Do you permit me to give it to him?" He said, "By Allah, O Messenger of Allah, no. I do not prefer anyone over the leftover of your drink." So he gave it to him and said: Some people think that this hadith indicates that the server must start with the eldest of the people, because the server here started with the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). But this person overlooked that the server started with the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) because he requested the drink. That is like... comparing this to a small child who, as soon as he arrived, requested a drink, so you brought him a glass of water. Does that mean you gave it to him because he deserves it, because he is the master of the people or the most knowledgeable of the people, or because he requested it? Because he requested it. So the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) in that gathering was given the drink by the server because the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) requested the drink. The proof is that he did not bring many cups; he only brought one cup. He drank what he drank, and his leftover remained. This leftover must be taken by one of the people in the gathering, as you mentioned, there are no cups now, just coffee or tea, so there is none. So who is this remaining leftover in the cup for? The Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) gave it to the one on his right, Ibn Abbas. Abu Bakr was on his left; he did not give it to him. It was on his right, Ibn Abbas. He asked permission to give it to Abu Bakr, and he said, "No."
The questioner : Abu Bakr intended it.
The Shaykh : No, he did not intend it. Pay attention to what I am saying: 'Umar ibn al-Khattab wanted the Messenger to give it to Abu Bakr because he is the master of the people. But the Messenger is guided by revelation from the sky that it is prescribed to start with the right, not with your eldest. So he wanted to draw the attention of the one on his right, who is entitled to it, saying, "You preferred Abu Bakr, let him take it." He said, "By Allah, O Messenger of Allah, no. I do not prefer anyone over the leftover of your drink." He said to him, "You are more deserving of it than the master of the people, meaning Abu Bakr." So it is not permissible to use this story as evidence that the Sunnah in general serving is to start with the eldest of the people, because the eldest of the people here was started with because he requested the drink. What confirms this for us is something else, which is that when the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) drank and a remainder was left in the cup and he wanted to serve, who is the server now, the Messenger or the one who gave it to him? The Messenger, without a doubt. If the server, and here the server is the Messenger, that it is etiquette to start with the eldest of the people, with whom would he start? With Abu Bakr... You are more deserving of it. You do not give the child to one older than you; this is your right. And so that people know that when the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) gave it to Ibn Abbas and did not give it to Abu Bakr, it was not an insult to Abu Bakr or a lack of appreciation for his virtue and his companionship with the Messenger and his migration with him. Rather, it is because the Shari'ah says: Therefore, when you say, "I mean, you, we are at your level," first of all, this level, Allah knows the stations of people with Allah. It may be a man who... the flaw, but he is with Allah in the highest ranks. And it may be another man who is a speaker, a scholar, and people are impressed by him, but with Allah he is not worth the wing of a gnat. The differentiation with Allah is something we do not know, but we know the apparent Shari'ah. The apparent Shari'ah says: if you are in a gathering where there is no elder and no junior, start with what is on your right and be at ease.
The questioner : But a small violation, is this a sin, for example, if we act contrary to the opinion of the Messenger?
The Shaykh : Allah is the Greatest. What are we talking about... We will tell you: when the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) establishes a principle or legislates and obligates us with it, then violating it is a sin, meaning it is not permissible. But when he establishes something that is not on the path of obligation, it is permissible for you not to do it. But here, it is not permissible to violate it because he said to you: This is the Shari'ah, so why do you violate it?
The questioner : Considering you are the eldest of the people, considering you are the master of the gathering...
The Shaykh : This is our calamity, because we, like those who have a little information, are held in good esteem by people, and people make a hundred calculations for him because the Shaykh gets angry, he gets upset, because his anger is not in the path of Allah.
The right-hand one, then the right-hand one.
الأيمن فالأيمنThe questioner : Abu Bakr intended it.
The Shaykh : No, he did not intend it. Pay attention to what I am saying: 'Umar ibn al-Khattab wanted the Messenger to give it to Abu Bakr because he is the master of the people. But the Messenger is guided by revelation from the sky that it is prescribed to start with the right, not with your eldest. So he wanted to draw the attention of the one on his right, who is entitled to it, saying, "You preferred Abu Bakr, let him take it." He said, "By Allah, O Messenger of Allah, no. I do not prefer anyone over the leftover of your drink." He said to him, "You are more deserving of it than the master of the people, meaning Abu Bakr." So it is not permissible to use this story as evidence that the Sunnah in general serving is to start with the eldest of the people, because the eldest of the people here was started with because he requested the drink. What confirms this for us is something else, which is that when the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) drank and a remainder was left in the cup and he wanted to serve, who is the server now, the Messenger or the one who gave it to him? The Messenger, without a doubt. If the server, and here the server is the Messenger, that it is etiquette to start with the eldest of the people, with whom would he start? With Abu Bakr... You are more deserving of it. You do not give the child to one older than you; this is your right. And so that people know that when the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) gave it to Ibn Abbas and did not give it to Abu Bakr, it was not an insult to Abu Bakr or a lack of appreciation for his virtue and his companionship with the Messenger and his migration with him. Rather, it is because the Shari'ah says:
The right-hand one, then the right-hand one.
الأيمن فالأيمنThe questioner : But a small violation, is this a sin, for example, if we act contrary to the opinion of the Messenger?
The Shaykh : Allah is the Greatest. What are we talking about... We will tell you: when the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) establishes a principle or legislates and obligates us with it, then violating it is a sin, meaning it is not permissible. But when he establishes something that is not on the path of obligation, it is permissible for you not to do it. But here, it is not permissible to violate it because he said to you:
The right-hand one, then the right-hand one.
الأيمن فالأيمنThe questioner : Considering you are the eldest of the people, considering you are the master of the gathering...
The Shaykh : This is our calamity, because we, like those who have a little information, are held in good esteem by people, and people make a hundred calculations for him because the Shaykh gets angry, he gets upset, because his anger is not in the path of Allah.