Does one start with the right or with the elder in gatherings?

The questioner : It is customary to start by serving the elder in gatherings, whether for drinking or

The Shaykh : Yes.

The questioner : other things. Ibn Hajar mentioned in al-Fath that there is a chain of narration to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) which he strengthened, stating that when he asked for water, he would say, "Start with the elder." Is this report authentic, or does one start with the right?

The Shaykh : ... Regarding this report, in terms of its chain, we do not agree with al-Hafiz Ibn Hajar in strengthening it, because it contains a man named Majard ibn Sa'id, whom Ibn Hajar himself weakened in his book "al-Taqrib" by saying "he is not strong". So his strengthening of the chain of this hadith contradicts his statement about one of its narrators, "he is not strong". This is the first point. Second, this hadith, despite the weakness of its chain as we have explained, contradicts a hadith in the two Sahihs narrated through two routes: one from the narration of Anas ibn Malik, and the other from the route of Sahl ibn Sa'd al-Sa'idi. Both of them narrated the following story: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asked for water, and a large cup containing milk mixed with water was brought to him. He drank from it. On his right was Ibn Abbas, or in one of the two narrations, a Bedouin man, and on his left was Abu Bakr. In another narration, the elders of Quraysh were present. When he had drunk and some remained in the cup, he turned to the one on his right, Ibn Abbas or that Bedouin man, and said, "Do you permit me to give it to Abu Bakr?" He said, "By Allah, O Messenger of Allah, I would not prefer anyone over the leftover of your drink." So he gave it to him and said and in another narration the hadith ends.
The jurisprudence of the hadith: Many people assume that the server starting with the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) confirms the hadith we mentioned whose chain is weak, which states that the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered to start serving the eldest of the people. This is not the case. The reason is that in this authentic hadith, narrated by the two Companions mentioned earlier, Ibn Abbas, Sahl ibn Sa'd, and Anas, it is explicitly stated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asked for water, meaning he requested to be served. Therefore, the server started with him because he was the one requesting. If a small child had requested water and been served first, no one would say that the Sunnah is to start with the small child. Rather, the Sunnah is to start with the one requesting to be served. So the one requesting is started with, whether he is old or young. Those who say that this hadith contains evidence that the server starts with the eldest of the people have actually not looked into these two narrations which explicitly state who each of them was, by saying, "The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) asked for water, and a cup containing milk mixed with water was brought to him," and so on. The reason is that this narration was reported in a shortened form in some narrations, even in the two Sahihs: "A cup containing milk mixed with water was brought to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him)," and so on. When they looked at this narration, it helped them to understand that he was started with because he was the eldest of the people. But when the other narration came, "The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) asked for water," it is, as they say today in the language of the present age, "it put the dots on the i's" and clarified the reason for the server starting with him (peace and blessings be upon him), which is that he was the one requesting. This is the first point. Another very important point in the subject confirms that starting with him (peace and blessings be upon him) was not because he was the eldest of the people—he was certainly the eldest—but because he was the one requesting. This is indicated and confirmed by the fact that when the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) had drunk
Now, the server who brought the cup to the hand of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) had finished his task. When the cup was in the hand of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), he became the server. So when he looked to his right, he found Ibn Abbas, and to his left, Abu Bakr. If the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) had been commanded by our Lord, Exalted is He, to start serving the eldest of the people, he would not have needed to ask permission from the young Ibn Abbas, who was less than fourteen years old. He needed to ask his permission because he was the eldest of the people, so he would have been served first. But it is clear from his statement in the same hadith, that the Shari'ah prioritizes the one on the right of the server, whether he is young or old. This is because the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) was now the server. Why did he not start with the eldest of the people, who was Abu Bakr? Because he established in the same story that the Shari'ah says, "The right, then the right." And when he was revealed this meaning, he asked Ibn Abbas for permission because he was the more deserving. If the more deserving one permits, it is permissible to serve the other who is behind him in priority. But he is a man who knows the benefit of his own religious interest, and he said, "By Allah, O Messenger of Allah, I would not prefer anyone over the leftover of your drink." So the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) had no choice, according to the Shari'ah, but to give it to him. 'Umar was in the gathering observing the situation. And from the emotional side, we all experience these emotions often: how would the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) give it to the youngest of the people? But the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) implemented the Shari'ah and followed it with his statement, and in the other narration, These two hadiths confirm that the consistent Sunnah is for the server to start with the one on his right, and so on. This is from the legal perspective. As for the social perspective, Islam, in its perfection, does not burden people with difficulty or embarrassment, etc. For example, if we sit in a normal gathering, not a class where the teacher sits in the middle to dictate to people, and this person enters, who is the server, how can he know who is the oldest of the people, who is the most honorable, and who is the best? This is something that even if Ibn Khaldun were in his time, he would not be able to judge in every gathering that so-and-so is the most deserving to start with. Therefore, Islam came with ease and said to the server: in any gathering you attend, start with the one on your right, and the problem is solved. This is what aligns with the saying of Allah the Exalted, and the saying of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), You must surely feel with me how some people are embarrassed in some formal or official gatherings about whether to start with such-and-such a Shaykh, or such-and-such a judge, or such-and-such a prince, or such-and-such a prince. The Wise Lawgiver settled this matter so that it would not be in the hearts of some people that he started with so-and-so before me.

The questioner : ... .

The Shaykh : Yes.

The questioner : It was mentioned in the hadith of the question.

The Shaykh : What is it?
Another questioner: Wait, that is your topic. Another question asks: Is the miswak used with the right or the left?

The questioner : No, no, no.
Another questioner: Ah.

The questioner : Starting with the elder regarding the question?

The Shaykh : Yes, this is correct and explicit.

The questioner : Yes, it came in hadiths...

The Shaykh : Yes, yes, this is also the case with the miswak. But regarding serving drinks, the hadith came as you heard, Yes.