The Prescribed and the Prohibited in Condolences
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
What is the criterion for offering condolences to the bereaved, especially since we find that in some countries they recite al-Fatihah over the deceased, and they argue for this by saying that if recitation over the sick person, like ruqyah, is permissible, then the deceased is all the more deserving of having al-Fatihah recited over him? We ask for elaboration on this issue because we find much disagreement in it?
Condolences are prescribed for every calamity, so one offers condolences to the one who has been afflicted, not just to the relatives. A person may be more affected by the death of a friend than by the death of a relative, and a relative may die to a person without him being affected by it or caring about it, and he may even rejoice in his death if there were problems between them. So, condolences are originally for the one who has been afflicted,And offering condolences means: who is able to hold on to patience. The best way to offer condolences is what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did, where he sent to one of his daughters,So he said: (telling her to be patient and to seek reward from Allah, for Allah has taken what He took and given what He gave, and everything with Him is by a specified term).
As for people gathering for condolences in one house, that is from religious innovations; if preparing food in that house is added to it, it is from wailing, as the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) considered it to be.Meaning: Gathering at the house of the bereaved and preparing food, they consider it to be wailing, and wailing—as many students of knowledge know—is from the major sins, for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed the one who wails and the one who listens to it.
And on this basis, it is obligatory for students of knowledge to make it clear to the general public that this is not a prescribed matter, and that they are closer to sin than to safety, and that it is obligatory for the later generations of this Ummah to follow the earliest generations. Did the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) sit for condolences for his daughters? For his children? For his wife Khadijah? For his wife Zaynab bint Khuzaymah? Did Abu Bakr sit? Did 'Umar sit? Did 'Uthman sit? Did 'Ali sit? Did any of the Companions sit waiting for someone to offer them condolences? Never.
He did not do this, and there is no doubt that the best guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him).
As for what is passed down from the fathers and has become customary, this is judged by the Book and the Sunnah and the way of the Salaf. If it agrees with them, it is acceptable, not because it is a custom, but because it agrees with the Sunnah. And what contradicts them must be rejected.
And it is not befitting for students of knowledge to submit to customs,And that they say: How do we condemn our fathers, mothers, and brothers for something customary? Because if we took this path, nothing would be corrected, and matters would remain as they are in their corruption.
As for reciting al-Fatihah, it is an innovation upon an innovation, for the Messenger (may Allah's prayer and peace be upon him) did not offer condolences by reciting al-Fatihah or by any other part of the Qur'an,As for their saying that it is recited over the sick person, we say: nor did he recite it over the sick person to be healed by it;Because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: (And what makes you think it is ruqyah?!) It is recited over the sick and they are healed by the permission of Allah, but the deceased is dead. If we recite it over him, will he be healed? Never, he is dead, and he will not be raised except on the Day of Resurrection.
All of these are things that students of knowledge must uproot from their societies, and return to what the righteous Salaf were upon. If it is said: Then when do we offer condolences?We said: First: Condolences are not obligatory; the most that can be said is that it is a recommended practice.
Second: Condolences are for the one who has been afflicted, whom we know is affected by the calamity, so we offer condolences to him and convey to him the admonitions until he is reassured.
Third: The prescribed condolences are not by gathering in the house, but in any place where you meet him, whether in the market or in the mosque.
And the like of that.
Condolences are prescribed for every calamity, so one offers condolences to the one who has been afflicted, not just to the relatives. A person may be more affected by the death of a friend than by the death of a relative, and a relative may die to a person without him being affected by it or caring about it, and he may even rejoice in his death if there were problems between them. So, condolences are originally for the one who has been afflicted,And offering condolences means: who is able to hold on to patience. The best way to offer condolences is what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did, where he sent to one of his daughters,So he said: (telling her to be patient and to seek reward from Allah, for Allah has taken what He took and given what He gave, and everything with Him is by a specified term).
As for people gathering for condolences in one house, that is from religious innovations; if preparing food in that house is added to it, it is from wailing, as the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) considered it to be.Meaning: Gathering at the house of the bereaved and preparing food, they consider it to be wailing, and wailing—as many students of knowledge know—is from the major sins, for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed the one who wails and the one who listens to it.
And on this basis, it is obligatory for students of knowledge to make it clear to the general public that this is not a prescribed matter, and that they are closer to sin than to safety, and that it is obligatory for the later generations of this Ummah to follow the earliest generations. Did the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) sit for condolences for his daughters? For his children? For his wife Khadijah? For his wife Zaynab bint Khuzaymah? Did Abu Bakr sit? Did 'Umar sit? Did 'Uthman sit? Did 'Ali sit? Did any of the Companions sit waiting for someone to offer them condolences? Never.
He did not do this, and there is no doubt that the best guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him).
As for what is passed down from the fathers and has become customary, this is judged by the Book and the Sunnah and the way of the Salaf. If it agrees with them, it is acceptable, not because it is a custom, but because it agrees with the Sunnah. And what contradicts them must be rejected.
And it is not befitting for students of knowledge to submit to customs,And that they say: How do we condemn our fathers, mothers, and brothers for something customary? Because if we took this path, nothing would be corrected, and matters would remain as they are in their corruption.
As for reciting al-Fatihah, it is an innovation upon an innovation, for the Messenger (may Allah's prayer and peace be upon him) did not offer condolences by reciting al-Fatihah or by any other part of the Qur'an,As for their saying that it is recited over the sick person, we say: nor did he recite it over the sick person to be healed by it;Because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: (And what makes you think it is ruqyah?!) It is recited over the sick and they are healed by the permission of Allah, but the deceased is dead. If we recite it over him, will he be healed? Never, he is dead, and he will not be raised except on the Day of Resurrection.
All of these are things that students of knowledge must uproot from their societies, and return to what the righteous Salaf were upon. If it is said: Then when do we offer condolences?We said: First: Condolences are not obligatory; the most that can be said is that it is a recommended practice.
Second: Condolences are for the one who has been afflicted, whom we know is affected by the calamity, so we offer condolences to him and convey to him the admonitions until he is reassured.
Third: The prescribed condolences are not by gathering in the house, but in any place where you meet him, whether in the market or in the mosque.
And the like of that.