For a long time, and I was away from my family at that time
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Question: For a long time, and I was away from my family at that time, I came to the house and found my younger brother with blood flowing from his head, and my father and my sisters around him treating a wound on his head, so I asked who had wounded him,So they said to me: His cousin had hit him on the head and gashed it as a result of a fight that occurred between them, and I was very angry that day, and I said, "It is haram upon me to wound him as he wounded my brother," and after a short time, a person made a reconciliation and settled the matter between them.Question: What is the ruling on my saying "It is haram upon me"?And the custom among us is that the one who says: "It is haram upon me,"As if he is saying: "It is divorce upon me," what is the ruling on this oath? And does an expiation fall upon me? Guide us, may Allah reward you.
Answer: What a Muslim should do in such situations is patience and endurance, forbearance, and not being hasty, and not rushing,So what I did: from this rushing, and this anger, this is not befitting for you, and as for the words of haram you uttered, that you would take revenge on the perpetrator, this returns to your intention. If you intended by the haram the divorce of your wife, then it becomes a divorce according to what you intended, and if you intended by it that the wife is haram,Meaning you intended by your saying: "It is haram upon me,"Meaning: that your wife is haram for you, and you did not intend divorce by it, then it becomes zihar, and the expiation of zihar is obligatory upon you.
And the expiation of zihar: freeing a slave, if you are able to free a neck, if you do not find one, then fasting two consecutive months, if you are unable to fast for a valid religious excuse, then you feed sixty poor people. This is the expiation of zihar.
As for if you intended by it only an oath, you did not intend divorce by it and you did not intend zihar by it,And I only said: "It is haram upon me" and you did not intend divorce or zihar, then it becomes an oath requiring expiation,You are obligated to pay the expiation of an oath, which is: freeing a slave, or feeding ten poor people, or clothing ten poor people, with the choice, whichever you are able to do suffices you, freeing a slave or feeding ten poor people, for each poor person half a sa' of food, or clothing ten poor people, for each poor person a garment, or an izar and a rida', according to the custom of the country, if you are unable to do any of these three things, then you fast three days,because of His saying, the Exalted: [Al-Ma'idah: 89] .
And the conclusion: That your saying: "It is haram upon me," contains the three matters: if you intended by it divorce, it is divorce according to what you intended, and if you intended by it the wife, meaning you made your wife haram by it, it becomes zihar, and if you did not intend divorce or zihar, but only intended the oath, then it becomes an oath requiring expiation, and Allah the Exalted knows best.
Answer: What a Muslim should do in such situations is patience and endurance, forbearance, and not being hasty, and not rushing,So what I did: from this rushing, and this anger, this is not befitting for you, and as for the words of haram you uttered, that you would take revenge on the perpetrator, this returns to your intention. If you intended by the haram the divorce of your wife, then it becomes a divorce according to what you intended, and if you intended by it that the wife is haram,Meaning you intended by your saying: "It is haram upon me,"Meaning: that your wife is haram for you, and you did not intend divorce by it, then it becomes zihar, and the expiation of zihar is obligatory upon you.
And the expiation of zihar: freeing a slave, if you are able to free a neck, if you do not find one, then fasting two consecutive months, if you are unable to fast for a valid religious excuse, then you feed sixty poor people. This is the expiation of zihar.
As for if you intended by it only an oath, you did not intend divorce by it and you did not intend zihar by it,And I only said: "It is haram upon me" and you did not intend divorce or zihar, then it becomes an oath requiring expiation,You are obligated to pay the expiation of an oath, which is: freeing a slave, or feeding ten poor people, or clothing ten poor people, with the choice, whichever you are able to do suffices you, freeing a slave or feeding ten poor people, for each poor person half a sa' of food, or clothing ten poor people, for each poor person a garment, or an izar and a rida', according to the custom of the country, if you are unable to do any of these three things, then you fast three days,because of His saying, the Exalted:
Allah will not impose blame upon you for what is meaningless in your oaths, but He will impose blame upon you for [breaking] what you intended of oaths. So its expiation is the feeding of ten needy people from the average of that which you feed your [own] families or clothing them or the freeing of a slave. But whoever cannot find [or afford it] - then a fast of three days [is required]. That is the expiation for oaths when you have sworn
لَا يُؤَاخِذُكُمُ اللَّهُ بِاللَّغْوِ فِي أَيْمَانِكُمْ وَلَكِنْ يُؤَاخِذُكُمْ بِمَا عَقَّدْتُمُ الْأَيْمَانَ فَكَفَّارَتُهُ إِطْعَامُ عَشَرَةِ مَسَاكِينَ مِنْ أَوْسَطِ مَا تُطْعِمُونَ أَهْلِيكُمْ أَوْ كِسْوَتُهُمْ أَوْ تَحْرِيرُ رَقَبَةٍ فَمَنْ لَمْ يَجِدْ فَصِيَامُ ثَلَاثَةِ أَيَّامٍ ذَلِكَ كَفَّارَةُ أَيْمَانِكُمْ إِذَا حَلَفْتُمْAnd the conclusion: That your saying: "It is haram upon me," contains the three matters: if you intended by it divorce, it is divorce according to what you intended, and if you intended by it the wife, meaning you made your wife haram by it, it becomes zihar, and if you did not intend divorce or zihar, but only intended the oath, then it becomes an oath requiring expiation, and Allah the Exalted knows best.