The prevalence of discussing absent people in gatherings
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The questioner : The honorable Shaykh says: It has become common in gatherings to speak ill of people who are not present, to the point where one almost concludes that there is no righteous man among us, whether among those known for good and knowledge or those known for open sinfulness. I have almost come to dislike gatherings and socializing, even if it is for the sake of maintaining family ties. What do you advise me to do, may Allah preserve you?
The Shaykh : What I understood from his words is that he is saying: It has become common in gatherings to disparage people, and that there is no good in people. And that people have turned away from the religion of Allah, and so on.
And I say: This is the habit of the pessimists who do not hope for any rectification for this community. Rather, their perspective is black, may Allah protect us from that. There is no doubt that in the Muslim communities, from the first to the last, there is the righteous man and the unrighteous one. There is the one who maintains prayer and the one who does not. And there is the one who maintains chastity and honor and the one who does not. But for us to be pessimistic and say: People have become corrupt, people have gone astray, people have been lost, and to generalize in this way is a mistake. For this reason, some of the Salaf said: If a man says, "People are ruined," he is the most ruined of them, because this speech is not permissible. Rather, it should be countered by what exists, praise be to Allah, in the arena of much rectification among the youth and non-youth. We see them, praise be to Allah, now, meaning according to what reaches us from inquiries, that they are returning to Allah (Mighty and Majestic) and straightening out on the religion of Allah. This is if the question is as I understood it.
As for if the question is asking about gatherings in which backbiting, cursing, and disparaging people are prevalent. Then yes, these are gatherings of evil, and it is not permissible for a person to attend them except one who intends to forbid evil and have an effect. So it is obligatory for him to attend in order to forbid what is wrong. But if he is not able to do so, and they will not accept his words, then it is not permissible for him to sit in the first place. If he sits, he must stand up and leave, whether they are his relatives or not, because the fear of Allah takes precedence over the fear of every person. Yes.
The Shaykh : What I understood from his words is that he is saying: It has become common in gatherings to disparage people, and that there is no good in people. And that people have turned away from the religion of Allah, and so on.
And I say: This is the habit of the pessimists who do not hope for any rectification for this community. Rather, their perspective is black, may Allah protect us from that. There is no doubt that in the Muslim communities, from the first to the last, there is the righteous man and the unrighteous one. There is the one who maintains prayer and the one who does not. And there is the one who maintains chastity and honor and the one who does not. But for us to be pessimistic and say: People have become corrupt, people have gone astray, people have been lost, and to generalize in this way is a mistake. For this reason, some of the Salaf said: If a man says, "People are ruined," he is the most ruined of them, because this speech is not permissible. Rather, it should be countered by what exists, praise be to Allah, in the arena of much rectification among the youth and non-youth. We see them, praise be to Allah, now, meaning according to what reaches us from inquiries, that they are returning to Allah (Mighty and Majestic) and straightening out on the religion of Allah. This is if the question is as I understood it.
As for if the question is asking about gatherings in which backbiting, cursing, and disparaging people are prevalent. Then yes, these are gatherings of evil, and it is not permissible for a person to attend them except one who intends to forbid evil and have an effect. So it is obligatory for him to attend in order to forbid what is wrong. But if he is not able to do so, and they will not accept his words, then it is not permissible for him to sit in the first place. If he sits, he must stand up and leave, whether they are his relatives or not, because the fear of Allah takes precedence over the fear of every person. Yes.