When I go to visit my aunts, all they do is talk about so-and-so and so-and-so. My personality is weak; I do not tell them, “This is forbidden, be quiet,” and I feel
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner : The last question in the message from the listener, Umm Usamah, from the State of Kuwait. She says: When I go to visit my aunts, all they do is talk about so-and-so and so-and-so. My personality is weak; I do not tell them, “This is forbidden, be quiet,” and I feel that I am sinful when I listen to their backbiting and their talk about others. So I stopped going to see them. What should I do, O honorable Shaykh? Guide us, may Allah reward you?
The Shaykh : It is obligatory for you to maintain your family ties and to go to them in the known manner. Part of your maintaining ties with them is that you advise them if they fall into backbiting. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: We asked, “Who, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: Sahih Muslim 55a And it is not permissible for you to leave off maintaining ties with them. If you leave off maintaining ties with them in this situation, it entails two dangers. The first danger is severing the family tie, and the punishment for that is not hidden. Indeed, Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) has guaranteed that He will maintain the tie of whoever maintains it and sever the tie of whoever severs it. Allah the Exalted said: [Muhammad 47:22-23].
The second danger is that you do not strive, or rather, you do not strive, to enjoin good and forbid evil. It is obligatory for a person to enjoin good and forbid evil to the extent of his ability. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan Abi Dawud 4336Da'if (Al-Albani) This indicates that enjoining good and forbidding evil is an obligatory matter whose obligation is confirmed. So you must maintain your family ties, and you must advise them to leave off this danger, which is backbiting. Indeed, backbiting is among the major sins. And Allah the Exalted said, describing it as ugly and disliked: [Al-Hujurat 49:12] Then, backbiting is an injustice to your Muslim brother, and injustice is darkness on the Day of Resurrection. And this wronged person will take from the good deeds of the wrongdoer on the Day of Resurrection, as established in the authentic hadith that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: They said, “Who is the one who has no dirham, no goods, or no dinar?” He said: And if backbiting occurs from a person against his brother, it is obligatory for him to refrain and turn away from it. Then, if his brother has known that he backbit him, let him go and seek his forgiveness in this world before he dies. And if his brother has not known that he backbit him, let him speak well of him in the gatherings where he backbites him, and let him supplicate to Allah for him. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : It is obligatory for you to maintain your family ties and to go to them in the known manner. Part of your maintaining ties with them is that you advise them if they fall into backbiting. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Religion is advice, religion is advice, religion is advice.
الدين النصيحة الدين النصيحة الدين النصيحةTo Allah, to His Book, To His Messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and their masses.
لله ولكتابه ولرسوله ولأئمة المسلمين وعامتهم(22) So would you perhaps, if you turned away, cause corruption on earth and sever your [ties of] relationship? (23) Those [who do so] are the ones that Allah has cursed, so He deafened them and blinded their vision.
فهل عسيتم إن توليتم أن تفسدوا في الأرض وتقطّعوا أرحامكم * أولئك الذين لعنهم الله فأصمهم وأعمى أبصارهمThe second danger is that you do not strive, or rather, you do not strive, to enjoin good and forbid evil. It is obligatory for a person to enjoin good and forbid evil to the extent of his ability. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
you must enjoin what is good and prohibit what is evil, prevent the wrongdoer, bend him into conformity with what is right, and restrict him to what is right.
لتأمرن بالمعروف ولتنهون عن المنكر ولتأخذن على يد السفيه ولتأطرنه على الحق أطْراor backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it.
ولا يغتب بعضكم بعضا أيحب أحدكم أن يأكل لحم أخيه ميتا فكرهتموهWho do you consider to be the bankrupt among you?
من تعدّون المفلس فيكمRather, the bankrupt is the one who comes on the Day of Resurrection with good deeds like mountains, and he comes having insulted this one, struck that one, and taken the wealth of another. So this one takes from his good deeds, and this one takes from his good deeds, and this one takes from his good deeds. If anything remains of his good deeds, otherwise, their sins are taken and thrown upon him, and then he is thrown into the Fire.
بل المفلس من يأتي يوم القيامة بحسنات أمثال الجبال فيأتي وقد شتم هذا وضرب هذا وأخذ مال هذا فيأخذ هذا من حسناته وهذا من حسناته وهذا من حسناته فإن بقي من حسناته شيء وإلا أخِذ من سيئاتهم فطرِح عليه ثم طرح في النارThe questioner : May Allah bless you.