I have an educated female friend who married her cousin and is now living with them in the house, and there is a lot of backbiting. Every day, women come to them and gather to talk about people, leaving no one safe from their evil.

The questioner : The questioner says: I have an educated female friend who married her cousin and is now living with them in that house, and there is a lot of backbiting there. Every day, women come to them and gather to talk about people, leaving no one safe from their evil. As for my friend, she either stays sitting and listens to their talk without speaking, or she may speak, or she leaves them and goes to her room to sit there. Is her action correct? Please guide her to what is good, and may Allah reward you with good.

The Shaykh : If this friend is the lady of the house who has the authority to grant or deny entry to those who come in, then it is obligatory for her to prevent these women, who sit only to eat the flesh of people, from entering. However, if she does not have that authority and is not the lady of the house, then it is obligatory for her, when she hears these women backbiting, to advise them first. If they do not refrain from backbiting, it is obligatory for her to leave the place and go to her room or chamber until these women leave the house. But I advise these women, above all else, to avoid backbiting, because backbiting is among the major sins. Allah the Exalted likened it to the ugliest example, saying: It is well known that no one loves to eat the flesh of his brother while he is alive, let alone when he is dead. The one who backbites is like the one who eats the flesh of a dead person, because he backbites this man in his absence such that he cannot defend himself. That is, the one who is backbitten is like a dead person whose flesh is eaten; he cannot defend himself. Then let these women know that they did not speak a word about a person, male or female, but that on the Day of Resurrection, it will be taken from their good deeds and placed upon his good deeds. If any of their good deeds remain, otherwise it will be taken from his sins and placed upon them, and then they will be thrown into the Fire. It is narrated with a chain that has some concern that two women were fasting in the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). They became extremely thirsty until they nearly died of thirst. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) called for them and ordered them to vomit, so they vomited pus, bile, and rotten flesh. Then the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) saw a group of people with nails of brass, scratching their faces and chests with them, and he said: Let these women beware of backbiting and fear Allah Mighty and Majestic. If the backbiting is about relatives, it becomes backbiting and severing of ties, and I seek refuge in Allah. Severing family ties is among the great major sins. Allah Blessed and Exalted is He said: And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: meaning the one who severs family ties. Backbiting, when it is about relatives, becomes more severe and greater. And when it is about the general public, it is among the major sins. So it is not possible for the one who backbites to be free from sin ever. However, if a person repents and turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness from the one he backbitten, if the backbiting reached him, then Allah the Exalted will erase his sins thereby.

The questioner : May Allah reward you with good.