What are the types of boycotting in the law of Allah?

The questioner : We have three brothers who were dutiful to their father. Their father passed away twelve or ten years ago. They disagreed, and one of them is sitting among us now. Until this day, they do not speak to one another over worldly matters.

The Shaykh : First, is there an oppressor and an oppressed party between them, or is there no oppressor and oppressed party?

Another questioner : By Allah, I do not know exactly.

The questioner : Let me clarify for the Shaykh, may Allah preserve you. When their father passed away, there was a slight disagreement between them. The three of them do not need anything from the matters of this world, and the disagreement, as Khalid said, is worldly. It is not a material worldly matter; it is a non-material worldly matter.The Shaykh : Khalid said that it is worldly. It is not a material worldly matter; it is a non-material worldly matter.

The Shaykh : What does that mean?

The questioner : I mean, for example, resentments. You do not respect me, and this one does not respect that one, and so on. There are no material matters. Now, their level of thinking and their status is higher than material disputes. They did not look at material disputes; rather, a split occurred between them. One of them has a very high job position, so he sees that whoever is older than him must be under his command, and whoever is younger than him must be under his command, and no one else?

Another questioner : Correct, so it is worldly matters.

The Shaykh : Yes, but as he said, it is not financial or material.

Another questioner : No, it is not material. Are there no monies between them?

The questioner : So they are non-material and psychological resentments, no more and no less. This middle brother is the richest of them and the most noble in status. He puts everyone under his wing, making them revolve around his orbit and praise him, no more and no less. Until one day, I remember, I was present among them. This middle brother was sitting drinking alcohol.

The Shaykh : What Allah willed!!

The questioner : So the younger brother said to him, "This alcohol is forbidden." He said to him, "Bring the evidence."

The Shaykh : What Allah willed!

The questioner : He said to him, "The evidence is that Allah said: I do not see that I understand... .

The Shaykh : What Allah willed.

The questioner : And he used to drink alcohol at parties, inviting fifty or a hundred people in Jeddah, drinking alcohol, and giving his children alcohol. So the youngest brother left him and cut him off for several things, including this.

The Shaykh : Do you agree with this presentation?

The questioner : I agree with it, but what is apparent to the eye and what I have seen is that this middle brother, perhaps for two or three years, I have not seen him drink alcohol at all?

The Shaykh : So you are saying that he repented.

The questioner : If Allah wills, what I have seen is that I even went to his house.

Another questioner : Last night we dined at... .

The questioner : Praise be to Allah, I did not see this thing in him, although I used to hear from the beginning and did not hear that there was alcohol in his house. Now there is none; perhaps I have gone to his house ten times.

The Shaykh : Yes. After this clarification and explanation, I will say a few words, relying on the Merciful Master, (Glorified and Exalted is He). Boycotting in Islam, the boycotting of a Muslim by his Muslim brother, in the law of Allah is of two types. The first is that he boycotts him for a purely worldly matter, and it is not important whether this worldly matter is material or non-material, as was detailed earlier. It is purely worldly. This boycotting is forbidden in Islam. It is permitted for only three days. If it continues and exceeds three days, it becomes forbidden. This is based on his saying, (peace and blessings be upon him): , . It is forbidden in Islam. It is permitted for only three days. If it continues and exceeds three days, it becomes forbidden. This is based on his saying, (peace and blessings be upon him): , "It is not permissible for a Muslim man to boycott his brother for more than three days." This means it is permissible for three days. This is a dispensation from Allah, (Blessed and Exalted is He), for His believing servants, from the perspective of alleviating the nature of people, because a person is narrow in nature. He vents his anger by boycotting his Muslim brother for one, two, or three days. Anything more than that is forbidden and not permissible. Therefore, the Messenger, (peace and blessings be upon him), described this boycotting by saying: , meaning one is going and one is coming. They meet, and instead of one of them greeting the other, and the other returning it, he said, (peace and blessings be upon him): , meaning he ignores his brother who passed by. This action is not permissible after three days. The best of the two is the one who initiates the greeting to his brother. This last phrase of the hadith gives us two things. The first is that this forbidden boycotting is removed as soon as he greets him. This is a very praiseworthy legal policy, because it is difficult to reconcile hearts that are boycotting and harboring hatred suddenly. But the Wise Lawgiver provided the magic key: you quarreled with your brother over a worldly matter, and more than three days have passed, so this is forbidden upon you. You must cut off the boycotting and the severance. It is not necessary that you go to his house, and that is good and beautiful, and that you apologize to him. But this requires very strong faith, and this is rarely found in people. So the Wise Lawgiver made the way of salvation from this boycotting and severance easy: if you meet him on the road, you initiate the greeting, "As-salamu alaykum," and the sin is lifted. This is taken from his saying: . Without a doubt, the best of the two is the one who initiates the greeting. So the one who initiated the greeting moved from the stage of committing the forbidden to the stage of entering the path of Islam, in his brotherhood with his Muslim brother. The other, without a doubt, is also one who turns away and boycotts his other brother who was greeted by the first... and the second, if he did not return the greeting, he sinned, and that one was saved from the sin. And the best of the two is the one who initiates the greeting. So if the sin of boycotting and severance is removed by giving the greeting, then this becomes the first step in meeting again, even if it is just with a greeting. Then perhaps with a handshake, which is considered one of the strongest causes for attaining forgiveness from Allah, (Blessed and Exalted is He), where he said, (peace and blessings be upon him): . Do you know the trees in autumn? The leaves turn yellow and fall, and you hear a sound when they fall. Similarly, the sins of Muslims fall when they meet and shake hands. Their sins fall from them, just as the leaves fall from the trees in autumn. This is if the boycotting is for the sake of this world, whether it is material or non-material.
The second type of boycotting and severing ties is when a Muslim severs ties with his Muslim brother to discipline him, reprimand him, and educate him. This is permissible in Islam with this good intention, and it is not of the nature of the hostile severing of ties mentioned earlier. Rather, it is for the sake of discipline, and this only occurs when the one being boycotted is openly committing a sin against Allah the Mighty and Majestic, not caring about people, not fearing Allah, and not being ashamed of the servants of Allah. He has a brother who is a close friend and ally to him, and he severs ties with him when he sees that he has strayed from the path and is not upright on the straight path. The evidence for this is the story of the three who were left behind in the story of the Prophet’s (peace and blessings be upon him) expedition to Tabuk. Some of the Companions, including Ka'b ibn Malik, did not go out on the expedition with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him); rather, they stayed behind. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) returned from the expedition to Tabuk, these men and others from among the hypocrites who had stayed behind came forward. The hypocrites made excuses with all kinds of false excuses, so the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) accepted their excuses and left their matter to Allah. As for Ka'b ibn Malik, he told the truth to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and informed him of the reality. He said: . So the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered the Companions to boycott these three men, including Ka'b ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with them). The boycott continued for a long period. Then he ordered the wife of Ka'b ibn Malik to leave Ka'b’s house and go to her family, so he remained alone for fifty days. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered the Companions to boycott them, so one of these three men would be on the road and someone would greet him, but he would not return the greeting. This is not the case; this is in the way of disciplining these who stayed behind from jihad in the cause of Allah and with the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). Then repentance from Allah came down upon the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) that Allah had accepted the repentance of these three. So Ka'b ibn Malik came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) when one of his relatives informed him that repentance from Allah the Mighty and Majestic had been revealed regarding him. He came and entered upon the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). Talhah stood up to him, greeted him, and congratulated him on Allah’s acceptance of his repentance. The story is very long and contains great lessons, and it is in Sahih al-Bukhari. The point is that this boycott is permissible and falls under the principle of loving for the sake of Allah and hating for the sake of Allah. But unfortunately, this thing has become a thing of the past today. It is very, very rare to find someone who boycotts a Muslim because he has strayed from the path. Rather, he boycotts him for a material reason, some of which were mentioned earlier. This type of boycotting for the sake of Allah is one for which its doer is rewarded, and he is not blamed. This is what we are in need of now. As for boycotting for the sake of worldly matters, it is forbidden and not permissible except for a maximum of three days only. If it continues beyond that, it is forbidden. And the matter is as he (peace and blessings be upon him) said in the previous hadith: . This is the answer to what you asked, if Allah wills.

The questioner : May Allah reward you with good. Now, if one knows, O Shaykh, that his boycotting of him is based on the intention to educate him?

The Shaykh : Yes. So if he is educated, the connection is restored, and boycotting is not permissible.

The questioner : Now, what is the ruling on the brother who reconciles between them?

The Shaykh : What Allah wills. Reconciliation between people is among the best of deeds. And because of the importance of reconciliation in Islam, the Messenger permitted lying in the cause of reconciliation between the two. So this is a necessary matter. One must only know the precise reasons so that he can bring them closer together and reconcile the viewpoints of the two disputing men. Now, what else is your question?