The Shaykh’s explanation of the etiquettes of giving water and who the one giving water should start with.

The Shaykh : ... We state this to clarify the matter to which reference was made, which is that the one who pours drinks begins with the person on his right, starting with the eldest of the people, then with the person on his right, after opening this session and this address with the sermon of need, with which the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) used to open his sermons and lessons, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him. We say: All praise is due to Allah; we praise Him, seek His help, and ask His forgiveness, and we seek refuge in Allah from the evils of our souls and the badness of our deeds. He whom Allah guides has no one to mislead, and he whom Allah misleads has no one to guide. And I bear witness that there is no god but Allah alone, with no partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). As for what follows: It is known to all our brothers present, if Allah wills, that the best guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him and his family). This phrase is from the words of the Messenger (peace be upon him) in that sermon to which we referred, but I wanted to shorten it so we can begin with what we are discussing: a recommended practice (sunnah) that many of the specialized scholars, let alone others, have neglected. This recommended practice is that when the one who pours drinks begins serving those seated, he must begin with the person on his right, and so on in sequence. As for what some people, both in the past and present, say—that the recommended practice is for the one who pours to begin with the eldest of the people, then with the person on his right—that is a mistake on their part. Its origin is that they did not follow the authentic hadith on which they based their opinion through all its chains and wordings. The clarification of this is that the hadith came in the Sahih of al-Bukhari and Muslim from the narration of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) visited a group of people, and milk mixed with water in a large cup was brought to him. The large cup is a big vessel. He drank from it (peace and blessings be upon him), and a handful of leftover drink remained in it. There was a Bedouin on his right, and in a narration of Abdullah ibn al-Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both), Abu Bakr al-Siddiq (may Allah be pleased with him) was on his left, and in a narration, the sheikhs and elders of Quraysh were there. When the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) finished drinking from that milk mixed with water, he turned to the person on his right and asked his permission, saying: The Bedouin said, "By Allah, O Messenger of Allah, I would not prefer anyone over the leftover of your drink." In some narrations, Umar was seated, observing the situation, so he gave it to the person on his right. To reassure the hearts of those present, especially Umar ibn al-Khattab, he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: In a narration: This narration, as we mentioned earlier, is in the two Sahihs. Those who hold that the recommended practice is for the one who pours to begin with the eldest of the people stopped at this point, because this incident clearly shows that the one who poured began with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), then the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) began with the person on his right. But they missed something regarding the narration, and something regarding understanding, i.e., comprehension and jurisprudence. As for what concerns the narration, in a narration in the Sahih of al-Bukhari, in both of the hadiths mentioned earlier, the hadith is from the narration of Anas ibn Malik. It also came from the narration of Sahl ibn Sa'd al-Sa'idi, in both of the hadiths, with a very important addition that clarifies and confirms the error of arguing with the first narration for the recommended practice that the one who pours begins with the eldest of the people. That addition says: So this addition gives us the answer to the question: Why did the one who pour begin with the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him)? The answer, according to those who say that the recommended practice is to begin with the eldest of the people, is that the Prophet was their master. That is their answer. But this addition refutes them and forces us to change the answer. It says that the one who poured began with the Messenger (peace be upon him) because he had asked for a drink, i.e., requested to be served. This is the addition, and it is authentic, and it is in the Sahih of al-Bukhari. It makes us understand from the incident that the one who poured, who began with the Messenger (peace be upon him), began with him because he had requested a drink. So, from the perspective of narration, the basis is that the recommended practice does not mean beginning with the eldest of the people, but rather means beginning with the person about whom he (peace be upon him) said, and who acted upon that saying before that. And the clarification of this is: you heard that the Messenger (peace be upon him), after drinking his share and a handful remained in the cup, asked permission of the person on his right. He did not give permission and said, "I would not prefer anyone over the leftover of your drink." So he gave it to him and said: So the recommended practice is that the one who pours begins with the person on the right. The person on the right here—I want to draw attention to something that many people overlook: when the person on his right (peace be upon him) drank, who was the one who poured? Was it the one who had poured for the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), or was it the Prophet himself? It was the Prophet (peace be upon him) himself. So if the claim is that the one who pours begins with the eldest of the people, and now the Prophet has become the one who pours, he would not have asked permission of the person on his right, who was either the youngest of the people, i.e., Ibn al-Abbas, or one of the Bedouins. Rather, he would have begun with the eldest of the people after the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family), which is Abu Bakr al-Siddiq (may Allah be pleased with him). When he did not begin with him, but began with the Bedouin or Ibn al-Abbas who was on his right, he supported that with his saying: Or the second narration: I said earlier that there are two things: one is narration, and the other is understanding. The understanding I meant is this deduction and looking at what the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) did after the cup was in his hand and he became the one who pours. He began with the person on his right, who was the Bedouin or Ibn al-Abbas. So this means that the understanding on which some people rely—that he begins with the eldest of the people, then with the person on his right—is an opinion with no evidence for it. Rather, the evidence contradicts it, as you heard clearly. In addition to this, we should look at some Islamic principles, among which is his (peace and blessings be upon him) saying: And his saying: And the Qur'an precedes his (peace be upon him) saying: In many cases, it is not possible to distinguish the eldest of the people from the intelligent among people, especially if they are close in age, or in status, knowledge, and rank among people. And the one who pours, usually in ancient times, is from the common people who have no culture and no awareness in distinguishing the ranks of people and knowing their degrees and stations. So if it is said to the one who pours, "Begin with the eldest of the people," it means he is being directed and educated. So he enters the gathering, and perhaps this man who is on my right, for example, is the master of the people and their scholar, but this one who pours is forced to be deceived by the elder in age and the beard. Do you see if this is what is intended by those who say that the recommended practice is to begin with the eldest of the people in age, or the eldest of the people in knowledge, righteousness, and rank? Here it becomes clear to you that distinguishing the eldest of the people, one of them over the other or the others, is a difficult matter because it requires complete knowledge of the biographies of these guests, and there are guests every day. So I say the matter requires, for the one who pours for the people, to be like Ibn Khaldun of his time, knowing the biographies of men and their stations. And this is a burden that is impossible to bear. So if it is among the principles: Then it can be said to this poor one who pours, whose job is to serve the group, and may Allah reward him well: "Begin, my brother, with the person on your right." We do not imagine the one who pours, no matter how uncultured or unaware he is, but that he distinguishes his right from his left. But by Allah, "Begin with the eldest of the people"—who is the eldest of the people? Perhaps it is there, perhaps it is in the corner, and in the corner are hidden things, as they say. This is a burden that is impossible to bear. And finally, something is added: among the principles and rules is that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) loved to favor the right in everything. A general rule is stated by the Lady Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her): This, as the scholars of language say, is generalization after specification. He specified combing the hair, purification, and putting on shoes, then the narrator, or the Lady Aisha, generalized and said: "And in all his matters." Among the matters of people is serving guests. So who takes charge of serving? As we said, it is a man from the common people. So let him adopt the Islamic principle that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) loved to favor the right in everything, and begin with his right. Another thing I was mentioning on this occasion: it was not customary in the time of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), when he was served from the cup, for them to serve all the guests milk, because they were a group of poor and needy people, and they did not have drinks like tea or the like. Rather, they served the person who needed a drink. So it is not correct for us to analogize that incident, even if we hypothetically removed the restrictions we mentioned, to what we are now accustomed to, which is that the host serves people tea or cold drinks or the like, to every individual without exception. Because this custom was not from before, and there is no doubt that this custom does not enter into the category of newly invented matters, but rather enters into his (peace be upon him) saying: So this is from honoring the guest. So this expansion in serving is from honoring the guest, which became easy for Muslims after the Islamic conquests. So if we hold to the general principle that he (peace and blessings be upon him) loved to favor the right in everything, especially since the specific principle in this incident met and was supported by the general principle, this is sufficient, and praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.