What is the prescribed extent of looking at a girl whom one intends to propose to?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner : He saysThe questioner : What is the prescribed extent of looking at a girl when one intends to marry her?
The Shaykh : There are two types of looking: one is looking by agreement with the girl and her guardian, not with the girl alone. In this type of looking, by agreement with the girl, her family, and her guardian, it is not permissible to look at anything of her except what is seen of her when she goes out of her house to the market, the street, or the like, meaning only the face and the hands. The other type of looking is looking without the girl’s knowledge. This is a type we can call the prescribed stealthy look, a permissible stealthy look. It is when the suitor looks at the one whom he has been inclined to marry, and he looks at her as much as he can see of her while she is unaware of him. This is permissible without a specific limit, and this can happen in certain circumstances without prior agreement. It is established from some of the Companions that he was seen directing his gaze at a woman in her drying area on the roof of her house. We call this in Syria the "mashriqah," the roof where laundry is spread or hung. The woman might see that the one looking at her might see something of her arm, something of her neck, her head, and her hair. If he is a stranger to her, the saying of Allah Blessed and Exalted is He applies:[An-Nur 24:30] to the end of the verse. And if he has a desire to marry her, here he is allowed to look at her for the purpose of deciding in his heart whether to marry her or not. From this came the hadith of al-Mughirah ibn Shu'ah, the other one, where he mentioned to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that he had married a woman from the Ansar. He said: Sunan al-Bayhaqi 10:1685 And in another wording: He said: So I looked at her and married her, and I found in her goodness and blessing, or as he said. So looking at the woman whom one intends to propose to is of two types: looking by agreement with her family and relatives, in which it is not permissible to look at anything except the face and the hands. As for the other type of looking, it has no limits. Please.
The questioner : Shaykh, if you please, reading the questions is good and fine, but if you allow, the one who has a comment or inquiry regarding the answer, allow him to speak? If you would be kind.
The Shaykh : Please.
The questioner : Now, some scholars do not permit a woman to show her face.
The Shaykh : We have held lectures and written books on this.
The questioner : Excuse me, how is he supposed to see her now, Shaykh? How is he supposed to see her?
Are you asking them or me?
The Shaykh : We want to reconcile, because the scholars have evidence just as you have evidence, they have evidence, so we want to reconcile between your answer, our Shaykh, and their answer.
The Shaykh : What is their evidence? What are they basing it on?
The questioner :[Al-Ahzab 33:59] .
The Shaykh : This is the answer I gave you earlier and it was repeated to us. We have written a book on it and given lectures.
The questioner : Okay, for the benefit, Shaykh, how do you now say, our Shaykh, that there are two types of looking, it could be three.
The Shaykh : May Allah bless you, you have contradicted the rule, and it might not be so.
The questioner : Now it is possible that it might not be so.
Al-Halabi : It is the third one.
The Shaykh : So what is the benefit of saying that there might be a third one?
The questioner : I mean, I want to say that there is a third ruling, that he does not see her.
The Shaykh : You mean you say it is possible.
The questioner : Yes, rather, it is certain, Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Certain!
The questioner : Since the looking is of two types, he will not see her.
The Shaykh : Do not search for what is in the imagination of the one who says what you say?
The questioner : By Allah, everyone who hears it sees, and Allah knows best, that this statement has a place now.
The Shaykh : What is the statement?
The questioner : That the looking is of two types.
The Shaykh : No, no, the third looking, may Allah guide you, once is enough for you.
The questioner : There is no third one.
The Shaykh : You are the one who said there is a third one.
The questioner : I am saying a ruling, I want to say a ruling, Shaykh.
The Shaykh : A third ruling? It is a duplicate of the third one. What is the benefit between the third looking and the third ruling? There is no third looking and no third ruling.
The questioner : Okay, can you reconcile, our Shaykh?
The Shaykh : May Allah bless you, may Allah guide you, express what is in your heart and do not duplicate.
The questioner : We want reconciliation between the fatwa you state and the fatwa of the other scholars, Shaykh, reconciliation. We do not want to reconcile, Shaykh.
The Shaykh : May Allah bring you, O long patience. But you define your question: what are the two statements you are asking me to reconcile between?
The questioner : Showing the face and not showing it. How am I supposed to see her?
The Shaykh : Do not ask them, I am begging you, how are you supposed to see her? You are asking him, I am telling you... he is not leaving it. What did you find, your weapon, meaning?
The questioner : I found my weapon, yes.
The Shaykh : Why?
The questioner : I found it because you tell me to ask them, so if Allah wills I will ask them.
The Shaykh : Okay, let us be fair to the group, and they are absent from you.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : What do you understand about them?
The questioner : I understand that regarding them, the face and hands of the woman are not shown at the time when you permit showing the face and hands. That is what I understand about them.
The Shaykh : But link the issue to what concerns the proposal, or is there no connection?
The questioner : I do not remember that they permit showing anything.
The Shaykh : So there is no disagreement, so there is no disagreement. You are asking me to reconcile between two statements where there is no disagreement.
The questioner : I mean, reconcile for the listeners, Shaykh, in the case where one like me adopts not showing the face and one adopts showing it. How, as Muslims, people look at us.
The Shaykh : Do not say "as Muslims."
The questioner : Muslims say your scholars say here she shows and here she does not show. Reconcile for us whether she shows or does not show.
The Shaykh : There is no problem with this. I am answering for them because it is the etiquette of Islam that we do not burden the dissenters, especially if it is based on ijtihad. They say as we say in the second type of looking. Did we say in the second type of looking, yes or no?
The questioner : I said yes.
The Shaykh : Take and give with me.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Is this the original ruling?
The questioner: No.
The Shaykh : Okay, likewise they say the face and hands of the woman are 'awrah, but we left this original ruling because we have other evidence that the one who wants to propose to a girl sees her face and hands. What is the problem? If you represent those people, then we have relaxed it for you. We tell you: if you think the face of the woman and the face of your daughter, and a suitor comes to propose to her, there is no objection for you, who adopt that the face of the woman is 'awrah, to see her face. Because the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said to al-Mughirah, as you heard earlier, when he said: I proposed to a woman from the Ansar, he said:Sunan al-Bayhaqi 10:1685 So he went and looked at her. So he looked at her face. This is it.
The questioner : When he went to her, he went and looked at her, meaning in the first looking or the second, Shaykh?
The Shaykh : Do not stray from the topic.
The questioner : Just so it can be built upon.
The Shaykh : I am answering for the group who say that the face... I am answering from the methodology of the group you are with, which is that they see that the face of the woman is not 'awrah. So we are reconciling that her face is 'awrah, so we are reconciling for what is established for you that the face of the woman is 'awrah.
We are reconciling between their opinion and their statement that it is permissible for the suitor to see her face. This is the hadith of al-Mughirah, evidence for that.
The questioner : Okay, Shaykh, if you please, may Allah bless you, a final comment, Shaykh.
Al-Halabi : They say with this.
The questioner : O our Shaykh.
Al-Halabi : He did not say that they do not say with it at the beginning.
The Shaykh : I told him that the one who says the third statement.
The questioner : Shaykh, there is a comment, if you would be kind, may Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : Please.
The questioner : Now, our Shaykh, when the suitor comes and I show him the face of my daughter, then he does not like it and leaves, and the next one, and the fourth, and so on, do you not see that this causes embarrassment for the woman?
The Shaykh : May Allah forgive you, you are now with neither these nor those.
The questioner : After you taught me, Shaykh.
The Shaykh : May Allah guide you.
The questioner : After you taught me.
The Shaykh : I feel that your topic was not what you were forced into when you were afflicted, when you mentioned a third state, and sometimes you called it a third ruling, then it was neither a state nor a ruling. It occurs to me when you mentioned the verse[Al-Ahzab 33:59] that your intention was one thing and it turned into another. So that we do not restrict you or distress you, what was your intention in mentioning this verse?
The questioner : The face covering, Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Good. The face covering is known. What do you want to say? Do you mean that the group argues with the verse for the face covering?
The questioner : Yes, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : I do not think a person would adopt the argument from this verse for covering the face and then stand by that argument at the end of the research. Whoever holds that view should test his luck. If you, or anyone else, believes that the verse means covering the face, let him say so. Let us do a practical lesson for your sake, so that your heart is at ease, and so that we do not mean that we have diverted you from the goal you were heading toward to something you ended up with against your will, and then you backed away from it. So, do you adopt the view that the verse indicates covering the face?
The questioner : Yes, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Very good. The first one to refute this is you. What is the jilbab? Linguistically and legally, what is the jilbab?
The questioner : What a woman covers her face and head with.
The Shaykh : But do not fall into another error. Another trap.
The questioner : The covering of her body starts from her head, then...
The Shaykh : Her whole body, I mean. Now, let us assume that this khimar on your head is that jilbab which is ample down to the soles of the feet, okay?
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Cover it so we can see. You are now covering your face and your hands with this.
The questioner : And my hands?
The Shaykh : No, leave it on your face for now; that is enough for us.
The questioner : I mean, for example, doing it like this, O our Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Stay there, finish it, stay, stay, cover it.
The questioner : Okay, consider that I have covered it.
The Shaykh : May Allah guide you. In this gathering, you are not willing to cover your face with the jilbab, let alone in the street. Now, if you were at the door of this farm and entered with your face covered by this jilbab, could you walk five steps? What is wrong with you that you do not speak?
The questioner : I mean, one might find a way to see through it.
The Shaykh : Show us, show us, we are doing this for that reason.
The questioner : I mean, this is what is placed on the face, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Show it to us, my brother. May Allah guide you.
The questioner : I cannot; I need to cut it. The thing.
Another questioner : I will cut it and put something else so I can see.
The Shaykh : So, the jilbab. Your friend is well-prepared. So, the jilbab that is in your minds and mentioned in the verse, you want to add to the jilbab mentioned in the verse additions from yourselves, and this is where the scissors work. Is this what is intended by the jilbab mentioned in the verse? The truth is, I entered into an experience similar to this one, but it was more successful than yours, because your luck is good, mine.
The questioner : With your presence, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : May Allah preserve you. I was in a gathering in a room; now there is no room to say to you "walk," you cannot walk. The man stood up, you stood up, and it was hotter. He said, "You say that the woman's face is not 'awrah, and Allah says..." and he brought the verse. I did this experiment with him. He had put on this red ghutrah, exactly. I said to him, "Assume this is the jilbab." He was standing there, very enthusiastic. I said to him, "Cover it so we can see how." I said to him, "Come forward to me." He said, "I cannot." It was a room of four or five steps. He said, "I cannot." I said, "O people, fear Allah. If a woman leaves her house, her Lord commanded her to put the jilbab on her body. How can you impose on her covering her face?" He did not have a choice but to cover his face, and then he collided with you and your friends. He said, "We will open a hole." I said to him, "Where did you get this hole from? The verse says jilbab, and you say the jilbab covers what? The face. This is not possible, my brother."
The questioner : Okay, and what about the one in the light, O our Shaykh?
Al-Halabi : But one by one.
The Shaykh : One by one. May Allah bless you.
Another questioner : These are people who took the tent and now they want to take the chairs.
The Shaykh : Simple.
Another questioner : ... This is the precaution.
The Shaykh : Please, you have it here.
Another questioner : Postpone the discussion of hijab for us.
The Shaykh : There are two types of looking: one is looking by agreement with the girl and her guardian, not with the girl alone. In this type of looking, by agreement with the girl, her family, and her guardian, it is not permissible to look at anything of her except what is seen of her when she goes out of her house to the market, the street, or the like, meaning only the face and the hands. The other type of looking is looking without the girl’s knowledge. This is a type we can call the prescribed stealthy look, a permissible stealthy look. It is when the suitor looks at the one whom he has been inclined to marry, and he looks at her as much as he can see of her while she is unaware of him. This is permissible without a specific limit, and this can happen in certain circumstances without prior agreement. It is established from some of the Companions that he was seen directing his gaze at a woman in her drying area on the roof of her house. We call this in Syria the "mashriqah," the roof where laundry is spread or hung. The woman might see that the one looking at her might see something of her arm, something of her neck, her head, and her hair. If he is a stranger to her, the saying of Allah Blessed and Exalted is He applies:
Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision
قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْHave you looked at her? For there is something in the eyes of the Ansar
هل نظرت إليها؟ فإن في أعين الأنصار شيئًاsomething
شينًاThe questioner : Shaykh, if you please, reading the questions is good and fine, but if you allow, the one who has a comment or inquiry regarding the answer, allow him to speak? If you would be kind.
The Shaykh : Please.
The questioner : Now, some scholars do not permit a woman to show her face.
The Shaykh : We have held lectures and written books on this.
The questioner : Excuse me, how is he supposed to see her now, Shaykh? How is he supposed to see her?
Are you asking them or me?
The Shaykh : We want to reconcile, because the scholars have evidence just as you have evidence, they have evidence, so we want to reconcile between your answer, our Shaykh, and their answer.
The Shaykh : What is their evidence? What are they basing it on?
The questioner :
O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers
ياأَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُل لأَزْوَاجِكَ وبَنَاتِكَ ونِسَاءِ المُؤْمِنِينَThe Shaykh : This is the answer I gave you earlier and it was repeated to us. We have written a book on it and given lectures.
The questioner : Okay, for the benefit, Shaykh, how do you now say, our Shaykh, that there are two types of looking, it could be three.
The Shaykh : May Allah bless you, you have contradicted the rule, and it might not be so.
The questioner : Now it is possible that it might not be so.
Al-Halabi : It is the third one.
The Shaykh : So what is the benefit of saying that there might be a third one?
The questioner : I mean, I want to say that there is a third ruling, that he does not see her.
The Shaykh : You mean you say it is possible.
The questioner : Yes, rather, it is certain, Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Certain!
The questioner : Since the looking is of two types, he will not see her.
The Shaykh : Do not search for what is in the imagination of the one who says what you say?
The questioner : By Allah, everyone who hears it sees, and Allah knows best, that this statement has a place now.
The Shaykh : What is the statement?
The questioner : That the looking is of two types.
The Shaykh : No, no, the third looking, may Allah guide you, once is enough for you.
The questioner : There is no third one.
The Shaykh : You are the one who said there is a third one.
The questioner : I am saying a ruling, I want to say a ruling, Shaykh.
The Shaykh : A third ruling? It is a duplicate of the third one. What is the benefit between the third looking and the third ruling? There is no third looking and no third ruling.
The questioner : Okay, can you reconcile, our Shaykh?
The Shaykh : May Allah bless you, may Allah guide you, express what is in your heart and do not duplicate.
The questioner : We want reconciliation between the fatwa you state and the fatwa of the other scholars, Shaykh, reconciliation. We do not want to reconcile, Shaykh.
The Shaykh : May Allah bring you, O long patience. But you define your question: what are the two statements you are asking me to reconcile between?
The questioner : Showing the face and not showing it. How am I supposed to see her?
The Shaykh : Do not ask them, I am begging you, how are you supposed to see her? You are asking him, I am telling you... he is not leaving it. What did you find, your weapon, meaning?
The questioner : I found my weapon, yes.
The Shaykh : Why?
The questioner : I found it because you tell me to ask them, so if Allah wills I will ask them.
The Shaykh : Okay, let us be fair to the group, and they are absent from you.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : What do you understand about them?
The questioner : I understand that regarding them, the face and hands of the woman are not shown at the time when you permit showing the face and hands. That is what I understand about them.
The Shaykh : But link the issue to what concerns the proposal, or is there no connection?
The questioner : I do not remember that they permit showing anything.
The Shaykh : So there is no disagreement, so there is no disagreement. You are asking me to reconcile between two statements where there is no disagreement.
The questioner : I mean, reconcile for the listeners, Shaykh, in the case where one like me adopts not showing the face and one adopts showing it. How, as Muslims, people look at us.
The Shaykh : Do not say "as Muslims."
The questioner : Muslims say your scholars say here she shows and here she does not show. Reconcile for us whether she shows or does not show.
The Shaykh : There is no problem with this. I am answering for them because it is the etiquette of Islam that we do not burden the dissenters, especially if it is based on ijtihad. They say as we say in the second type of looking. Did we say in the second type of looking, yes or no?
The questioner : I said yes.
The Shaykh : Take and give with me.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Is this the original ruling?
The questioner: No.
The Shaykh : Okay, likewise they say the face and hands of the woman are 'awrah, but we left this original ruling because we have other evidence that the one who wants to propose to a girl sees her face and hands. What is the problem? If you represent those people, then we have relaxed it for you. We tell you: if you think the face of the woman and the face of your daughter, and a suitor comes to propose to her, there is no objection for you, who adopt that the face of the woman is 'awrah, to see her face. Because the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said to al-Mughirah, as you heard earlier, when he said: I proposed to a woman from the Ansar, he said:
Have you looked at her? For there is something in the eyes of the Ansar
هل نظرت إليها فإن في أعين الأنصار شيئًاThe questioner : When he went to her, he went and looked at her, meaning in the first looking or the second, Shaykh?
The Shaykh : Do not stray from the topic.
The questioner : Just so it can be built upon.
The Shaykh : I am answering for the group who say that the face... I am answering from the methodology of the group you are with, which is that they see that the face of the woman is not 'awrah. So we are reconciling that her face is 'awrah, so we are reconciling for what is established for you that the face of the woman is 'awrah.
We are reconciling between their opinion and their statement that it is permissible for the suitor to see her face. This is the hadith of al-Mughirah, evidence for that.
The questioner : Okay, Shaykh, if you please, may Allah bless you, a final comment, Shaykh.
Al-Halabi : They say with this.
The questioner : O our Shaykh.
Al-Halabi : He did not say that they do not say with it at the beginning.
The Shaykh : I told him that the one who says the third statement.
The questioner : Shaykh, there is a comment, if you would be kind, may Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : Please.
The questioner : Now, our Shaykh, when the suitor comes and I show him the face of my daughter, then he does not like it and leaves, and the next one, and the fourth, and so on, do you not see that this causes embarrassment for the woman?
The Shaykh : May Allah forgive you, you are now with neither these nor those.
The questioner : After you taught me, Shaykh.
The Shaykh : May Allah guide you.
The questioner : After you taught me.
The Shaykh : I feel that your topic was not what you were forced into when you were afflicted, when you mentioned a third state, and sometimes you called it a third ruling, then it was neither a state nor a ruling. It occurs to me when you mentioned the verse
to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments
يُدْنِينَ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِن جَلابِيبِهِنَّThe questioner : The face covering, Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Good. The face covering is known. What do you want to say? Do you mean that the group argues with the verse for the face covering?
The questioner : Yes, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : I do not think a person would adopt the argument from this verse for covering the face and then stand by that argument at the end of the research. Whoever holds that view should test his luck. If you, or anyone else, believes that the verse means covering the face, let him say so. Let us do a practical lesson for your sake, so that your heart is at ease, and so that we do not mean that we have diverted you from the goal you were heading toward to something you ended up with against your will, and then you backed away from it. So, do you adopt the view that the verse indicates covering the face?
The questioner : Yes, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Very good. The first one to refute this is you. What is the jilbab? Linguistically and legally, what is the jilbab?
The questioner : What a woman covers her face and head with.
The Shaykh : But do not fall into another error. Another trap.
The questioner : The covering of her body starts from her head, then...
The Shaykh : Her whole body, I mean. Now, let us assume that this khimar on your head is that jilbab which is ample down to the soles of the feet, okay?
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Cover it so we can see. You are now covering your face and your hands with this.
The questioner : And my hands?
The Shaykh : No, leave it on your face for now; that is enough for us.
The questioner : I mean, for example, doing it like this, O our Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Stay there, finish it, stay, stay, cover it.
The questioner : Okay, consider that I have covered it.
The Shaykh : May Allah guide you. In this gathering, you are not willing to cover your face with the jilbab, let alone in the street.
So take heed, O you who have vision.
فاعتبروا يا أولي الأبصارThe questioner : I mean, one might find a way to see through it.
The Shaykh : Show us, show us, we are doing this for that reason.
The questioner : I mean, this is what is placed on the face, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Show it to us, my brother. May Allah guide you.
The questioner : I cannot; I need to cut it. The thing.
Another questioner : I will cut it and put something else so I can see.
The Shaykh : So, the jilbab. Your friend is well-prepared. So, the jilbab that is in your minds and mentioned in the verse, you want to add to the jilbab mentioned in the verse additions from yourselves, and this is where the scissors work. Is this what is intended by the jilbab mentioned in the verse? The truth is, I entered into an experience similar to this one, but it was more successful than yours, because your luck is good, mine.
The questioner : With your presence, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : May Allah preserve you. I was in a gathering in a room; now there is no room to say to you "walk," you cannot walk. The man stood up, you stood up, and it was hotter. He said, "You say that the woman's face is not 'awrah, and Allah says..." and he brought the verse. I did this experiment with him. He had put on this red ghutrah, exactly. I said to him, "Assume this is the jilbab." He was standing there, very enthusiastic. I said to him, "Cover it so we can see how." I said to him, "Come forward to me." He said, "I cannot." It was a room of four or five steps. He said, "I cannot." I said, "O people, fear Allah. If a woman leaves her house, her Lord commanded her to put the jilbab on her body. How can you impose on her covering her face?" He did not have a choice but to cover his face, and then he collided with you and your friends. He said, "We will open a hole." I said to him, "Where did you get this hole from? The verse says jilbab, and you say the jilbab covers what? The face. This is not possible, my brother."
The questioner : Okay, and what about the one in the light, O our Shaykh?
Al-Halabi : But one by one.
The Shaykh : One by one. May Allah bless you.
Another questioner : These are people who took the tent and now they want to take the chairs.
The Shaykh : Simple.
Another questioner : ... This is the precaution.
The Shaykh : Please, you have it here.
Another questioner : Postpone the discussion of hijab for us.
Source
www.al-albany.com
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.