I know that backbiting and lying are forbidden, but when a person sits in a gathering where this topic is prevalent, and when he advises the one doing it, they say this talk is common and there is nothing wrong with it.
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The questioner : We know that backbiting and lying are forbidden, but when a person sits in a gathering where this topic is prevalent, and when he addresses the one or those sitting there, they say that this talk is always going on and there is nothing wrong with it. We also want to clarify the Islamic ruling. May Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : First, regarding the Islamic ruling on backbiting and lying: backbiting is forbidden; indeed, it is among the major sins, as Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on him) stated. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explained it in his saying:Sunan Abi Dawud 4874Sahih (Al-Albani) For this reason, the Companions said: “O Messenger of Allah, what do you say if what I say is true about him?” He said: Sunan Abi Dawud 4874Sahih (Al-Albani).
Allah has warned against it in His saying:[Al-Hujurat 49:12] Consider this analogy, where Allah placed the one who backbites his brothers in the position of a man who eats the flesh of his dead brother. It is known that no one can eat the flesh of his dead brother. For this reason, He said: Allah compared backbiting to this because the one who is backbitten is absent and cannot defend himself; he is in the position of a dead person whose flesh is eaten, unable to defend himself or prevent people from eating his flesh.
If backbiting occurs from one person to another, it is obligatory for the one who backbitten his brother to seek his forgiveness and ask him to forgive him in this world, before that is taken from his good deeds on the Day of Resurrection. This is if the backbitten person knows that he was backbitten. If he does not know, some scholars say: It is not advisable to inform him that he was backbitten, because he might insist on not forgiving him. It is sufficient to seek forgiveness for him and to speak well of him in the places and gatherings where he was backbitten, for good deeds erase bad ones.
As for lying, lying is not from the character of a believer, but rather it is from the signs and markers of the hypocrites, as Allah (Blessed and Exalted is He) said:[Al-Munafiqun 63:1] So lying is among the characteristics and signs of the hypocrites. In the hadith from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), he said: Sahih al-Bukhari 33.
Therefore, it is not permissible for anyone to lie to anyone, whether in matters of religion or matters of the world, and it is more severe in matters of religion. As some people do, they attribute to scholars statements they did not make and fatwas they did not issue, falsely and deceptively, but they want to justify their own statement by supporting it with a statement or fatwa attributed to the scholar. The harm of this is great and its danger is serious.
Once the ruling on backbiting and lying is clear, we say: It is not permissible for anyone to remain in a gathering where there is backbiting or lying. Rather, it is obligatory for him to advise the people of the gathering. If they comply and accept the advice, that is better for everyone. If they do not, it is obligatory for him to stand up and not sit with them, because the one who sits with the people of sin is in their position, as Allah the Exalted said:[An-Nisa 4:140].
Some people, ruling for themselves, say that they sit with the people of sin while hating it, so they are disapproving with their hearts. We say to them: If they were hating it, they would have stood up and not sat. Because it is known that one who hates something cannot bear to remain with it. But this is from the category of wishful thinking, and it is from weakness. The weak one is the one who follows his own desires and makes wishes upon Allah.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : First, regarding the Islamic ruling on backbiting and lying: backbiting is forbidden; indeed, it is among the major sins, as Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on him) stated. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explained it in his saying:
It is saying something about your brother which he would dislike
الغيبة ذكرك أخاك بما يكرهIf what you say of him is true, you have slandered him, and if what you say of him is not true, you have reviled him.
إن كان فيه ما تقول فقد اغتبته، وإن لم يكن فيه ما تقول فقد بهتهAllah has warned against it in His saying:
or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it.
وَلا يَغْتَبْ بَعْضُكُمْ بَعْضًا أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَنْ يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُand you hated it.
فكرهتموهIf backbiting occurs from one person to another, it is obligatory for the one who backbitten his brother to seek his forgiveness and ask him to forgive him in this world, before that is taken from his good deeds on the Day of Resurrection. This is if the backbitten person knows that he was backbitten. If he does not know, some scholars say: It is not advisable to inform him that he was backbitten, because he might insist on not forgiving him. It is sufficient to seek forgiveness for him and to speak well of him in the places and gatherings where he was backbitten, for good deeds erase bad ones.
As for lying, lying is not from the character of a believer, but rather it is from the signs and markers of the hypocrites, as Allah (Blessed and Exalted is He) said:
When the hypocrites come to you, [O Muhammad], they say, "We testify that you are the Messenger of Allah." And Allah knows that you are His Messenger, and Allah testifies that the hypocrites are liars.
إِذَا جَاءَكَ الْمُنَافِقُونَ قَالُوا نَشْهَدُ إِنَّكَ لَرَسُولُ اللَّهِ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ إِنَّكَ لَرَسُولُهُ وَاللَّهُ يَشْهَدُ إِنَّ الْمُنَافِقِينَ لَكَاذِبُونَThe signs of a hypocrite are three: 1. Whenever he speaks, he tells a lie. 2. Whenever he promises, he always breaks it (his promise ). 3. If you trust him, he proves to be dishonest.
آية المنافق ثلاث : إذا حدث كذب، وإذا وعد أخلف، وإذا أؤتمن خانTherefore, it is not permissible for anyone to lie to anyone, whether in matters of religion or matters of the world, and it is more severe in matters of religion. As some people do, they attribute to scholars statements they did not make and fatwas they did not issue, falsely and deceptively, but they want to justify their own statement by supporting it with a statement or fatwa attributed to the scholar. The harm of this is great and its danger is serious.
Once the ruling on backbiting and lying is clear, we say: It is not permissible for anyone to remain in a gathering where there is backbiting or lying. Rather, it is obligatory for him to advise the people of the gathering. If they comply and accept the advice, that is better for everyone. If they do not, it is obligatory for him to stand up and not sit with them, because the one who sits with the people of sin is in their position, as Allah the Exalted said:
And it has already come down to you in the Book that when you hear the verses of Allah [recited], they are denied [by them] and ridiculed; so do not sit with them until they enter into another conversation. Indeed, you would then be like them
وَقَدْ نَزَّلَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِي الْكِتَابِ أَنْ إِذَا سَمِعْتُمْ آيَاتِ اللَّهِ يُكْفَرُ بِهَا وَيُسْتَهْزَأُ بِهَا فَلا تَقْعُدُوا مَعَهُمْ حَتَّى يَخُوضُوا فِي حَدِيثٍ غَيْرِهِ إِنَّكُمْ إِذًا مِثْلُهُمْSome people, ruling for themselves, say that they sit with the people of sin while hating it, so they are disapproving with their hearts. We say to them: If they were hating it, they would have stood up and not sat. Because it is known that one who hates something cannot bear to remain with it. But this is from the category of wishful thinking, and it is from weakness. The weak one is the one who follows his own desires and makes wishes upon Allah.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.