The people’s laxity regarding the matter of divorce.
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The Shaykh : And let it be known that, with great regret, divorce has become easy on the tongues of many people; they pronounce it for the slightest reason. This is a serious matter. I give you an example: many people have a guest stay with them and want to honor him with a slaughter from their sheep, which is readily available and requires no effort. The guest says, “I swear by divorce, do not slaughter for me,” and the host says, “I swear by divorce, I will slaughter for you.” This is the problem. Whose word do we take? All of this is foolishness. And I tell you, what does he say?
The student: ... .
The Shaykh : It is of no use. I say: the matter is extremely serious. If a man says to his wife, “If you leave the house, you are divorced,” then he either intends the condition or he intends the oath. If he intends the condition, then if she leaves, she is divorced, and there is no doubt in that, because that is a divorce contingent on a condition. It has occurred, and when the condition is met, the conditioned thing is established, which is? The conditioned thing, just as if he said, “If the sun rises, you are divorced,” then if the sun rises, she is divorced. This is a point of consensus among the scholars—pay attention, my brother—if he says, “If you leave the house, you are divorced,” and he intends the condition, and she leaves, what happens? She is divorced by the consensus of the people. Why? Because he intended the pure condition, meaning the suspension of the divorce on a condition. So when this condition is met, the conditioned thing is met, which is the divorce. Its equivalent is if he says to his wife, “If the sun rises, you are divorced,” then if the sun rises, she is divorced.
The second situation: that he intends by his saying, “If you leave, you are divorced,” to urge her not to leave, meaning he wants to prevent her, and he used this formulation to threaten her. So she left. Is she divorced or not? Is she divorced or not?
The student: ...
The Shaykh : I tell you: the majority of the Ummah and all the Imams are of the opinion that she is divorced—pay attention, my brother—this is a serious issue. That is, if he says to his wife, “You are divorced if you leave the house,” then most of the scholars of the Ummah and the four Imams, all of them, say: if she leaves, she is divorced, even if he intended a threat, and we are not bound by his intention. However, Shaykh al-Islama, may Allah have mercy on him, Ibn Taymiyyah, holds that if he intended an oath, this formulation is given the ruling of an oath. And the meaning of intending an oath is that he says: “I do not intend divorce, and my wife is precious to me, and I do not let her go, but I mentioned it to intimidate her so that she does not leave, because she also dislikes my divorcing her.” So Shaykh al-Islama Ibn Taymiyyah holds that if she leaves, she is not divorced, but he must pay the expiation for an oath. And his statement, may Allah have mercy on him, is the correct one in terms of reasoning, by analogy to manumission, which was reported from the Companions, may Allah be pleased with them, and the suspension of divorce. Shaykh al-Islama says: “It is not known among the Companions, so it is analogized to what was known among them”. And I only told you that so that you would be wary of hastening in this matter, because now, for example, if a man says to his wife, “If you leave the house, you are divorced,” intending thereby to prevent her and threatening her with divorce. So she is divorced, and he takes the opinion of Shaykh al-Islama Ibn Taymiyyah that she is not divorced, but he must pay the expiation for an oath. Do you not know that he would have intercourse with her, according to the majority of the Ummah, in a forbidden manner? Yes. He has intercourse with her, according to the majority of the Ummah, in a forbidden manner, because she is divorced. And it is necessary to take her back; it is necessary to take her back, either by words or by an action indicating it. And this man did not take her back, but he had intercourse with her as if she were a wife upon whom no divorce had occurred. But the majority do not say this, so the matter is very serious. So beware of hastening in this. And if a person wants to refrain from something, no one dislikes it. If the guest staying with his host says, “Do not slaughter for me; if you slaughter, I will not eat,” will he pull out a gun and say, “Eat, or I will shoot you in the head”? No... He says, “If you desire it, eat; otherwise, leave it.” So what necessitates divorce? All of this is from error and negligence regarding the limits of Allah, Mighty and Majestic.
And the equivalent of that is that some of the foolish, if he wants to divorce his wife with a divorce that is, meaning, there is no doubt in it, comes to the scribe and says, “Write: my wife is divorced with three divorces, divorced with three divorces.” Meaning, men who are not fit. This is forbidden. It is not permissible to divorce with three divorces. He says, “No, I do not want her, I do not want her, that is it, I am done with her, write it with three divorces.” We say to him, “Okay, if we write that it is one divorce, will anyone force you to take her back? I ask you?”
The student: No.
The Shaykh : No one forces you. Divorce her once, and no one said to you that you must take her back. And when the waiting period ends, she is divorced from you. There is no need for you to say, “I must divorce her with three divorces,” because you also, if you divorce her with three divorces, remain in a problem, yes? You remain in a problem. What is the problem? That most of the scholars, including the four schools of jurisprudence, hold that three divorces in one word is a final divorce that does not make the woman lawful for him. That is, for example, if a man says, “My wife, you are divorced with three divorces, you are divorced three times,” most of the Ummah and most of the Muslim scholars say that she does not become lawful for him; she is divorced from him with a major final divorce; she does not become lawful for him except after another husband. Wait, people, look, people, look at the matter.
Some of the scholars hold that she is divorced with one divorce, like Shaykh al-Islama Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allah have mercy on him, and his statement is the correct one, because Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, said: So he approved it for them. And he said, “Whoever divorces with three divorces cannot take her back; it is not possible to take her back.” Why did he do that? To deter people from the forbidden three divorces. So he proceeded, and the scholars followed the Commander of the Faithful, Umar, and they said: if a person divorces with three divorces, the woman is divorced from him, and he does not have the right to take her back except after another husband. So I say: some of the foolish come to the scribe and say to him, “You must write it with three divorces.” Okay, but does the scribe now, in this situation, write or not write? If he was appointed as his agent, meaning he said, “Write,” and thus made him an agent, then he does not write, because it is not permissible to accept agency in a forbidden matter. He says, “I do not write.” But if this husband is reporting a previous divorce and came to this scribe only to certify it, then here he writes.
If someone asks: how does he write something forbidden?
We said: because the right pertains to a third party. Who is the third party? The wife. So we must write this in order to clarify the status, in order to clarify the situation for the wife. So it became that if a man says to a person, “Come, write the divorce of my wife,” and he made him an agent, meaning he appointed him to write the divorce, then he is an agent, and the divorce does not occur until this man writes it. And if he said, “Write it with three divorces,” he does not write it with three divorces, because it is not permissible to accept agency in a forbidden matter. But if he said, “Write the divorce of my wife,” meaning the one I told you about and I divorced her, then here he writes. We ask Allah for guidance and success for us and for you. Therefore, it is recommended that the one who divorces first be deliberate and not hasten in divorce. And how many people have divorced and then regretted it. And Allah the Exalted said:[An-Nisa 4:19]. Then I say: a person may dislike his wife, for example, today, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow. But the Turner of hearts, Exalted and Majestic is He, turns his heart, so he does not remain in hatred. Hearts are in the hand of Allah, and how many people have hated a person today and loved him tomorrow! And how many people have loved him today and hated him tomorrow! So the obligatory thing is patience, especially since women in these times, I say, are cheap or expensive? Yes?
The student: Expensive.
The Shaykh : Expensive. The mahr reaches forty thousand, and when does the young man get these forty thousand? Yes?
The student: ...
The Shaykh : No, no, no, we say: we say the moderate mahr, let us leave this mahr of madness, it is not our concern. But the moderate mahr is forty thousand. And when does the poor young man get it? He has just come out. Yes? Therefore, I say: it is upon the person to be patient, be deliberate, and wait, and Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, is the Turner of hearts. Yes. And now to the questions.
The questioner : In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.
The Shaykh : Write, write.
The questioner : And blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon his family and his Companions, and abundant peace until the Day of Judgment. We ask Allah to grant us and you beneficial knowledge and righteous deeds, and to make us among those who listen to the statement and then follow the best of it.
The Shaykh : Amen, amen.
The student: ... .
The Shaykh : It is of no use. I say: the matter is extremely serious. If a man says to his wife, “If you leave the house, you are divorced,” then he either intends the condition or he intends the oath. If he intends the condition, then if she leaves, she is divorced, and there is no doubt in that, because that is a divorce contingent on a condition. It has occurred, and when the condition is met, the conditioned thing is established, which is? The conditioned thing, just as if he said, “If the sun rises, you are divorced,” then if the sun rises, she is divorced. This is a point of consensus among the scholars—pay attention, my brother—if he says, “If you leave the house, you are divorced,” and he intends the condition, and she leaves, what happens? She is divorced by the consensus of the people. Why? Because he intended the pure condition, meaning the suspension of the divorce on a condition. So when this condition is met, the conditioned thing is met, which is the divorce. Its equivalent is if he says to his wife, “If the sun rises, you are divorced,” then if the sun rises, she is divorced.
The second situation: that he intends by his saying, “If you leave, you are divorced,” to urge her not to leave, meaning he wants to prevent her, and he used this formulation to threaten her. So she left. Is she divorced or not? Is she divorced or not?
The student: ...
The Shaykh : I tell you: the majority of the Ummah and all the Imams are of the opinion that she is divorced—pay attention, my brother—this is a serious issue. That is, if he says to his wife, “You are divorced if you leave the house,” then most of the scholars of the Ummah and the four Imams, all of them, say: if she leaves, she is divorced, even if he intended a threat, and we are not bound by his intention. However, Shaykh al-Islama, may Allah have mercy on him, Ibn Taymiyyah, holds that if he intended an oath, this formulation is given the ruling of an oath. And the meaning of intending an oath is that he says: “I do not intend divorce, and my wife is precious to me, and I do not let her go, but I mentioned it to intimidate her so that she does not leave, because she also dislikes my divorcing her.” So Shaykh al-Islama Ibn Taymiyyah holds that if she leaves, she is not divorced, but he must pay the expiation for an oath. And his statement, may Allah have mercy on him, is the correct one in terms of reasoning, by analogy to manumission, which was reported from the Companions, may Allah be pleased with them, and the suspension of divorce. Shaykh al-Islama says: “It is not known among the Companions, so it is analogized to what was known among them”. And I only told you that so that you would be wary of hastening in this matter, because now, for example, if a man says to his wife, “If you leave the house, you are divorced,” intending thereby to prevent her and threatening her with divorce. So she is divorced, and he takes the opinion of Shaykh al-Islama Ibn Taymiyyah that she is not divorced, but he must pay the expiation for an oath. Do you not know that he would have intercourse with her, according to the majority of the Ummah, in a forbidden manner? Yes. He has intercourse with her, according to the majority of the Ummah, in a forbidden manner, because she is divorced. And it is necessary to take her back; it is necessary to take her back, either by words or by an action indicating it. And this man did not take her back, but he had intercourse with her as if she were a wife upon whom no divorce had occurred. But the majority do not say this, so the matter is very serious. So beware of hastening in this. And if a person wants to refrain from something, no one dislikes it. If the guest staying with his host says, “Do not slaughter for me; if you slaughter, I will not eat,” will he pull out a gun and say, “Eat, or I will shoot you in the head”? No... He says, “If you desire it, eat; otherwise, leave it.” So what necessitates divorce? All of this is from error and negligence regarding the limits of Allah, Mighty and Majestic.
And the equivalent of that is that some of the foolish, if he wants to divorce his wife with a divorce that is, meaning, there is no doubt in it, comes to the scribe and says, “Write: my wife is divorced with three divorces, divorced with three divorces.” Meaning, men who are not fit. This is forbidden. It is not permissible to divorce with three divorces. He says, “No, I do not want her, I do not want her, that is it, I am done with her, write it with three divorces.” We say to him, “Okay, if we write that it is one divorce, will anyone force you to take her back? I ask you?”
The student: No.
The Shaykh : No one forces you. Divorce her once, and no one said to you that you must take her back. And when the waiting period ends, she is divorced from you. There is no need for you to say, “I must divorce her with three divorces,” because you also, if you divorce her with three divorces, remain in a problem, yes? You remain in a problem. What is the problem? That most of the scholars, including the four schools of jurisprudence, hold that three divorces in one word is a final divorce that does not make the woman lawful for him. That is, for example, if a man says, “My wife, you are divorced with three divorces, you are divorced three times,” most of the Ummah and most of the Muslim scholars say that she does not become lawful for him; she is divorced from him with a major final divorce; she does not become lawful for him except after another husband. Wait, people, look, people, look at the matter.
Some of the scholars hold that she is divorced with one divorce, like Shaykh al-Islama Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allah have mercy on him, and his statement is the correct one, because Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, said:
The pronouncement of three divorces during the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was considered a single divorce. It was the same during the time of Abu Bakr and for two years of the caliphate of 'Umar. When the pronouncement of three divorces became widespread among the people, and 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) was known for his firmness, he said: "I see that people have hastened in a matter in which they used to be deliberate. If we were to enforce this upon them..."
كان الطلاق الثلاث في عهد النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم كان الطلاق في عهد النبي صلى الله عليه وعلى آله وسلم طلاق الثلاث واحدا . وكذلك في عهد أبي بكر وسنتين من خلافة عمر فلما كثر الطلاق الثلاث في الناس وكان عمر رضي الله عنه مشهورا بالحزم قال : أرى الناس قد استعجلوا في شيء كانت لهم فيه أناة فلو أمضيناه عليهمIf someone asks: how does he write something forbidden?
We said: because the right pertains to a third party. Who is the third party? The wife. So we must write this in order to clarify the status, in order to clarify the situation for the wife. So it became that if a man says to a person, “Come, write the divorce of my wife,” and he made him an agent, meaning he appointed him to write the divorce, then he is an agent, and the divorce does not occur until this man writes it. And if he said, “Write it with three divorces,” he does not write it with three divorces, because it is not permissible to accept agency in a forbidden matter. But if he said, “Write the divorce of my wife,” meaning the one I told you about and I divorced her, then here he writes. We ask Allah for guidance and success for us and for you. Therefore, it is recommended that the one who divorces first be deliberate and not hasten in divorce. And how many people have divorced and then regretted it. And Allah the Exalted said:
For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.
فإن كرهتموهن فعسى أن تكرهوا شيئا ويجعل الله فيه خيرا كثيراThe student: Expensive.
The Shaykh : Expensive. The mahr reaches forty thousand, and when does the young man get these forty thousand? Yes?
The student: ...
The Shaykh : No, no, no, we say: we say the moderate mahr, let us leave this mahr of madness, it is not our concern. But the moderate mahr is forty thousand. And when does the poor young man get it? He has just come out. Yes? Therefore, I say: it is upon the person to be patient, be deliberate, and wait, and Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, is the Turner of hearts. Yes. And now to the questions.
The questioner : In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.
The Shaykh : Write, write.
The questioner : And blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon his family and his Companions, and abundant peace until the Day of Judgment. We ask Allah to grant us and you beneficial knowledge and righteous deeds, and to make us among those who listen to the statement and then follow the best of it.
The Shaykh : Amen, amen.