What is the ruling on calling the wife's father "uncle" or the wife's mother "aunt"? It is reported in the hadiths that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) called Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas "uncle"
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The questioner : Your Eminence, regarding a question directed to you about calling the wife's father "uncle" or "maternal uncle," and likewise the wife's mother, I said, "Your Eminence,The Shaykh : it is necessary that these people be called by their legal names. There is a hadith in the Sunnah, authenticated by the scholars, in which the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to a man who came to visit him, who was an old man and was on his deathbed: Sahih al-Bukhari 6681 And likewise, the Prophet's statement to Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas: It is known that he was not an uncle to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), meaning a brother of his mother. So what is this naming?
The Shaykh : But the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) was nursed by the Banu Sa'd, so they were his maternal uncles in relation to Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas (may Allah be pleased with him). Then, there is a difference between addressing a person who is present and saying, for example, "Uncle, please come in," or "Maternal uncle, please come in," and assigning this name to that person permanently. That is, there is no harm in saying to an elderly person, "Uncle, please come in," or "Maternal uncle, please come in"; there is nothing wrong with that. But making "uncle" a fixed description for the wife's father, for example, or "maternal uncle" for the wife's father, that is what we say: it is not appropriate. Rather, mention the legal names. We cited as evidence for this that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) forbade calling the 'Isha' prayer "al-Atamah," and he said: The prayer is the 'Isha' prayer, as in the Book of Allah (Mighty and Majestic). Yes, that is correct.
The questioner : What is the legal name?
The Shaykh : "Brother-in-law." We say, "My brother-in-law so-and-so." But there is no harm if he enters and you say, "Uncle, please come in," or the like, even if I say it to a person who does not know me and I do not know him. But your saying, "Uncle so-and-so" or the like, on a permanent basis, that is not good.
The questioner : And the wife's mother, is she "my aunt"?
The Shaykh : And the wife's mother, you do not call her "my aunt"; she is not your aunt.
The questioner : The people of Egypt say: "Tanta"!
The Shaykh : What is "Tanta"?
The questioner : They call the wife's mother "Tanta."
The Shaykh : "Tanta"? Perhaps it is a reference to the city of Tanta.
The questioner : "Tanta" means "lady."
The Shaykh : "Lady"?
The questioner : They call the grandmother "lady."
The Shaykh : They call the grandmother "the lady," meaning a lady who is nothing special, because it is a general description. But "uncle" indicates kinship, whereas "lady" does not indicate kinship, because she is an elderly woman.
The questioner : And custom?
The Shaykh : Custom should be changed for the sake of the Shari'ah.
Say: La ilaha illallah
يا خال قل لا إله إلا اللهThis is my maternal uncle
هذا خاليThe Shaykh : But the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) was nursed by the Banu Sa'd, so they were his maternal uncles in relation to Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas (may Allah be pleased with him). Then, there is a difference between addressing a person who is present and saying, for example, "Uncle, please come in," or "Maternal uncle, please come in," and assigning this name to that person permanently. That is, there is no harm in saying to an elderly person, "Uncle, please come in," or "Maternal uncle, please come in"; there is nothing wrong with that. But making "uncle" a fixed description for the wife's father, for example, or "maternal uncle" for the wife's father, that is what we say: it is not appropriate. Rather, mention the legal names. We cited as evidence for this that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) forbade calling the 'Isha' prayer "al-Atamah," and he said:
Do not let the Bedouins overpower you regarding your 'Isha' prayer, al-Atamah, for they stay up late with their camels
لا يغلبنكم الأعراب على صلاتكم العشاء، العتمة فإنهم يعتمون في الإبلThe questioner : What is the legal name?
The Shaykh : "Brother-in-law." We say, "My brother-in-law so-and-so." But there is no harm if he enters and you say, "Uncle, please come in," or the like, even if I say it to a person who does not know me and I do not know him. But your saying, "Uncle so-and-so" or the like, on a permanent basis, that is not good.
The questioner : And the wife's mother, is she "my aunt"?
The Shaykh : And the wife's mother, you do not call her "my aunt"; she is not your aunt.
The questioner : The people of Egypt say: "Tanta"!
The Shaykh : What is "Tanta"?
The questioner : They call the wife's mother "Tanta."
The Shaykh : "Tanta"? Perhaps it is a reference to the city of Tanta.
The questioner : "Tanta" means "lady."
The Shaykh : "Lady"?
The questioner : They call the grandmother "lady."
The Shaykh : They call the grandmother "the lady," meaning a lady who is nothing special, because it is a general description. But "uncle" indicates kinship, whereas "lady" does not indicate kinship, because she is an elderly woman.
The questioner : And custom?
The Shaykh : Custom should be changed for the sake of the Shari'ah.