What is the ruling on a woman making a vow not to shake hands with men or speak to them?
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The questioner : Noble Shaykh, if a woman vows not to shake hands with men and not to speak to them, what is the ruling in that?
The Shaykh : And what else?
The questioner : Not to shake hands with men and not to speak to them.
The Shaykh : Even if they are her mahrams?
The questioner : No, other than her mahrams. What is the ruling in that? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : As for her vow not to shake hands with men, that is good and a vow of obedience. As for her vow not to speak to men, that is not a vow of obedience, because speaking to men is not forbidden unless fitnah is feared from it. So if she herself, for example, is a woman whose desire is stirred and she takes pleasure in the speech of any man she speaks to, that is forbidden for her. But this is a specific case.
As for the general rule, it is permissible for a woman to speak to a man, and it is permissible for a man to hear her voice, just as the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) used to hear the voices of the women who came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) to seek his ruling. Indeed, the Qur'an indicates this. Allah the Exalted said:[Al-Ahzab 33:32] He said: This indicates that there is nothing wrong with the ordinary voice. Yes.
The questioner : I mean, it is not obligatory for her.
The Shaykh : If it is for a reason specific to her, such that if she speaks to any man her desire is stirred or she takes pleasure in his speech, then this is a vow of obedience, and she must fulfill it and not speak to men. If she is safe from this, then it is a permissible vow. If she wishes, she may speak to men and expiate with an oath expiation. If she wishes, she may not speak to them, and there is no expiation on her if she does not speak to them. Do you understand now? Do you understand, Zayn? Where is the questioner? Raise your hand, questioner. Ah, do you understand now or not?
The questioner : Yes, I understood.
The Shaykh : Fine.
The Shaykh : And what else?
The questioner : Not to shake hands with men and not to speak to them.
The Shaykh : Even if they are her mahrams?
The questioner : No, other than her mahrams. What is the ruling in that? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : As for her vow not to shake hands with men, that is good and a vow of obedience. As for her vow not to speak to men, that is not a vow of obedience, because speaking to men is not forbidden unless fitnah is feared from it. So if she herself, for example, is a woman whose desire is stirred and she takes pleasure in the speech of any man she speaks to, that is forbidden for her. But this is a specific case.
As for the general rule, it is permissible for a woman to speak to a man, and it is permissible for a man to hear her voice, just as the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) used to hear the voices of the women who came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) to seek his ruling. Indeed, the Qur'an indicates this. Allah the Exalted said:
then do not be soft in speech [to men], lest he in whose heart is disease should covet
فَلا تَخْضَعْنَ بِالْقَوْلِ فَيَطْمَعَ الَّذِي فِي قَلْبِهِ مَرَضٌDo not be soft in speech
لا تَخْضَعْنَThe questioner : I mean, it is not obligatory for her.
The Shaykh : If it is for a reason specific to her, such that if she speaks to any man her desire is stirred or she takes pleasure in his speech, then this is a vow of obedience, and she must fulfill it and not speak to men. If she is safe from this, then it is a permissible vow. If she wishes, she may speak to men and expiate with an oath expiation. If she wishes, she may not speak to them, and there is no expiation on her if she does not speak to them. Do you understand now? Do you understand, Zayn? Where is the questioner? Raise your hand, questioner. Ah, do you understand now or not?
The questioner : Yes, I understood.
The Shaykh : Fine.