Is it permissible for a father to marry off his daughter without her consent, what is the harm of that for the family, and what is the view of Islam on it?
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The questioner : Is it permissible for a father to marry off his daughter without her consent, what is the harm of that for the family, and what is the view of Islam on it?
The Shaykh : Before we answer this question, I say the first question.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : It is actually vague. The brothers who ask questions should clarify their questions so that they can get the answer they have in mind.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : The questioner may want one thing, and we may understand another.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : So we ask people to clarify their questions.
The questioner : And before that, we ask for the writing to be clarified as well, because some letters are rejected due to the poor quality of the writing.
The Shaykh : Well done, yes.
The questioner : The second question asks: Is it permissible for a father to marry off his daughter without her consent, what is the harm of that for the family, and what is the view of Islam on it?
The Shaykh : It is not permissible for a man to marry off his daughter without her consent. This is what the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) indicates:Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1107Sahih (Darussalam) This is general for anyone who wants to marry off a virgin. In fact, there is a specific text regarding the father, where he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: .
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : So it is an explicit text that the woman’s consent is necessary in marriage.
This is what the Shari'ah requires. As for the harm to the family, the harm is great because, first, it is a marriage not in the manner prescribed by the Shari'ah, and second, it leads to discord between the man and his wife, which causes enmity and hatred between the two tribes, the woman’s tribe and the man’s tribe. This leads to conflict and dispute, and perhaps there will be coldness from the woman or the man toward the other. They will then need to spend money to get out of it.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : And the money will be a lot, making it difficult for the woman’s guardians, so they will be distressed by it.
In any case, this is not the place to detail the harms that occur by violating the Shari'ah in marrying a daughter to someone she does not approve of.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : A...
The Shaykh : But.
The questioner : Please go ahead.
The Shaykh : If the daughter consents to a man who is not a suitable match in his religion, her guardians have the right to prevent her from marrying him. That is, if she says, “I want this young man or this man, whether he is young or old, but his religion is not acceptable,” then it is obligatory for her guardians to prevent her from marrying him, and they bear no sin for that. Even if she dies without marrying, and she insists on not marrying anyone but the man she specified, they bear no sin for that. This is especially so in the case of one who does not pray, because one who does not pray, according to the stronger opinion indicated by the Quranic and Prophetic evidence, is a disbeliever whose disbelief takes him out of Islam. And a disbeliever is not permitted to marry a Muslim woman. This is a matter I hope is on the minds of many people who are lax in this affair, meaning leaving off prayer.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Whether it is those who leave off prayer or the people who know about these people who leave off prayer, because its matter is great and its crime is major.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Before we answer this question, I say the first question.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : It is actually vague. The brothers who ask questions should clarify their questions so that they can get the answer they have in mind.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : The questioner may want one thing, and we may understand another.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : So we ask people to clarify their questions.
The questioner : And before that, we ask for the writing to be clarified as well, because some letters are rejected due to the poor quality of the writing.
The Shaykh : Well done, yes.
The questioner : The second question asks: Is it permissible for a father to marry off his daughter without her consent, what is the harm of that for the family, and what is the view of Islam on it?
The Shaykh : It is not permissible for a man to marry off his daughter without her consent. This is what the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) indicates:
a virgin should not be given in marriage until her permission is sought
لا تنكح البكر حتى تُستأذنAnd the virgin is to be consulted by her father.
والبكر يستأمرها أبوهاThe questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : So it is an explicit text that the woman’s consent is necessary in marriage.
This is what the Shari'ah requires. As for the harm to the family, the harm is great because, first, it is a marriage not in the manner prescribed by the Shari'ah, and second, it leads to discord between the man and his wife, which causes enmity and hatred between the two tribes, the woman’s tribe and the man’s tribe. This leads to conflict and dispute, and perhaps there will be coldness from the woman or the man toward the other. They will then need to spend money to get out of it.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : And the money will be a lot, making it difficult for the woman’s guardians, so they will be distressed by it.
In any case, this is not the place to detail the harms that occur by violating the Shari'ah in marrying a daughter to someone she does not approve of.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : A...
The Shaykh : But.
The questioner : Please go ahead.
The Shaykh : If the daughter consents to a man who is not a suitable match in his religion, her guardians have the right to prevent her from marrying him. That is, if she says, “I want this young man or this man, whether he is young or old, but his religion is not acceptable,” then it is obligatory for her guardians to prevent her from marrying him, and they bear no sin for that. Even if she dies without marrying, and she insists on not marrying anyone but the man she specified, they bear no sin for that. This is especially so in the case of one who does not pray, because one who does not pray, according to the stronger opinion indicated by the Quranic and Prophetic evidence, is a disbeliever whose disbelief takes him out of Islam. And a disbeliever is not permitted to marry a Muslim woman. This is a matter I hope is on the minds of many people who are lax in this affair, meaning leaving off prayer.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Whether it is those who leave off prayer or the people who know about these people who leave off prayer, because its matter is great and its crime is major.
The questioner : Yes.