What is required of one who swears oaths frequently?
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Question:
I have made it a habit to swear an oath when I get angry or upset about anything at work or at home, and I say: "I am divorced" or "it is forbidden for me" that such and such is the case. This oath has become a habit in my day and night, and I repeat it constantly. I tried to get rid of it, but I could not. So what do you advise me to do? And what is the ruling on this oath, O honorable Shaykh?
Answer:
We advise you to be cautious of this and not to make it a habit. We advise you to abandon swearing oaths by divorce and by declaring things forbidden. This is what we advise you to do. If you do so and you are sincere, then you owe nothing. For example, if you say, "I am divorced if so-and-so travels," or "I am divorced that I did not do such and such," and you are sincere, then you owe nothing. Or if you say, "It is forbidden for me that I do not do such and such," and you did not do it, or "It is forbidden for me that so-and-so has traveled," or "It is forbidden for me that I did not eat such and such," and you are sincere, then you owe nothing.
However, if you say it with the intention of preventing something; for example, if you say to your wife, "I am divorced if you go to your family," and your intention is to prevent her, not to divorce her, then its ruling is the ruling of an oath. You must pay the expiation for an oath—in the most correct opinion of the scholars. Likewise, if you say, "It is forbidden for me that I do not eat this thing," and you ate it, and your intention was to refrain from it, then you must pay the expiation for an oath. Or if you say, "It is forbidden for me to visit so-and-so," and then you visited him, and your intention was only to refrain from visiting him, then you must pay the expiation for an oath. You must also seek forgiveness regarding your oath by declaring things forbidden; because declaring as forbidden what Allah has made lawful is not permissible.
I have made it a habit to swear an oath when I get angry or upset about anything at work or at home, and I say: "I am divorced" or "it is forbidden for me" that such and such is the case. This oath has become a habit in my day and night, and I repeat it constantly. I tried to get rid of it, but I could not. So what do you advise me to do? And what is the ruling on this oath, O honorable Shaykh?
Answer:
We advise you to be cautious of this and not to make it a habit. We advise you to abandon swearing oaths by divorce and by declaring things forbidden. This is what we advise you to do. If you do so and you are sincere, then you owe nothing. For example, if you say, "I am divorced if so-and-so travels," or "I am divorced that I did not do such and such," and you are sincere, then you owe nothing. Or if you say, "It is forbidden for me that I do not do such and such," and you did not do it, or "It is forbidden for me that so-and-so has traveled," or "It is forbidden for me that I did not eat such and such," and you are sincere, then you owe nothing.
However, if you say it with the intention of preventing something; for example, if you say to your wife, "I am divorced if you go to your family," and your intention is to prevent her, not to divorce her, then its ruling is the ruling of an oath. You must pay the expiation for an oath—in the most correct opinion of the scholars. Likewise, if you say, "It is forbidden for me that I do not eat this thing," and you ate it, and your intention was to refrain from it, then you must pay the expiation for an oath. Or if you say, "It is forbidden for me to visit so-and-so," and then you visited him, and your intention was only to refrain from visiting him, then you must pay the expiation for an oath. You must also seek forgiveness regarding your oath by declaring things forbidden; because declaring as forbidden what Allah has made lawful is not permissible.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.