Benefits of the Hadith: (Do not marry off a widow until she is consulted...)
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The Shaykh : From this hadith, it is derived: the prohibition of marrying a previously married woman (thayb) or giving her in marriage until she is consulted. Where is the prohibition taken from? From his saying: Because it is a negation in the sense of prohibition, and when a negation is in the sense of prohibition, it adds emphasis. How is that? Because when it is formulated in the form of a negation, the negation is a statement and not a creation, so it is as if he is saying: this matter is a settled matter that cannot occur. Therefore, the people of rhetoric said: bringing a prohibition in the form of a negation, or a command in the form of a statement, is more emphatic, because it is as if it is said: the prohibited thing has become a negated matter, and the commanded thing has become a realized matter. Did you understand, everyone, now? So the prohibition we took from the word .
If someone says: This is a negation.
We say: It is in the sense of prohibition.
If he says: What is the rhetoric, or what is the wisdom in bringing a prohibition in the form of a negation? The answer is: Because this is more eloquent in emphasis, as if the prohibited thing has become a negated matter with no existence.
Now, from the benefits of the hadith: the wisdom of the Shari'ah in distinguishing between a previously married woman and a virgin.
And from its benefits: considering the causes in rulings, considering the causes and meanings in rulings. The point is: he only distinguished between the virgin and the previously married woman because the virgin is usually shy and unable to engage in consultation and obedience, so he made permission sufficient for her.
And from the benefits of this hadith: the condition of the wife's consent, even if the one giving her in marriage is the father. The point is: this prohibition does not contain an exception, and if there is no exception, what is the original rule? The original rule is generality. So the father does not marry off his virgin daughter except with her permission, nor a previously married daughter except with her permission, like the rest of the guardians.
And it is derived from this hadith by analogy: the condition of the husband's consent, and that if he is married off under coercion, the marriage is not valid. Is it possible for someone to be married off under coercion?
The student: Yes.
The Shaykh : It is possible, because some people force their son to marry his sister's daughter, i.e., the daughter of his father's sister, who is his cousin's daughter. He forces him and says: It is necessary. So if he forces him and he marries his cousin's daughter under coercion, the marriage is not valid.
Yes, what do you say about a man who asked his virgin daughter's permission and said: So-and-so has proposed to you, shall we marry you to him? She said: Yes, I do not seek anyone but a man like this, and praise be to Allah who guided him to me. Do we marry her?
The student: Yes, a fortiori.
The Shaykh : Yes, a fortiori, but the Zahiriyyah say: Do not marry her. Why? Because the Messenger of Allah said: And this one did not remain silent. Glory be to Allah, this is a woman who says: Marry us, and we say: By Allah, we will not marry you, and when one remains silent, we say: We will not marry her. Which is more appropriate? Now, if she laughed, her father asked her permission and she laughed?
The student: Marry her.
Another student: You have done well regarding the silence.
The Shaykh : You have done well regarding the silence. Now, what contradicts this? Let us give another example. He asked her permission and she cried?
The student: ...
The Shaykh : This is looked into. In any case: the scholars differed on this issue, on both issues. Some said: If she laughed, it is not permission, because she may laugh in amazement at her father's state, as if she is saying: How will you marry me? How will you send me away from my home? So the laughter is laughter of disapproval, not laughter of approval. And some said: Rather, this is permission, because laughter indicates relaxation, joy, and happiness. Yes, so it is more eloquent than silence. Now, the one who cried, which is closer? Is crying closer to prohibition or to permission?
The student: To permission.
The Shaykh : By Allah, the apparent is that it is closer to prohibition. But with that, the jurists, may Allah have mercy on them, say: Even if she laughed or cried, it is permission. But what appears is that if she cried, she does not want to get married. Yes, and the crying may be from joy, but the closer is that it is not permission. But if he said: You do not cry, what do you say? And she remained silent, then it is permission. Yes.
Do not marry
لا تنكحDo not marry
لا تنكحIf someone says: This is a negation.
We say: It is in the sense of prohibition.
If he says: What is the rhetoric, or what is the wisdom in bringing a prohibition in the form of a negation? The answer is: Because this is more eloquent in emphasis, as if the prohibited thing has become a negated matter with no existence.
Now, from the benefits of the hadith: the wisdom of the Shari'ah in distinguishing between a previously married woman and a virgin.
And from its benefits: considering the causes in rulings, considering the causes and meanings in rulings. The point is: he only distinguished between the virgin and the previously married woman because the virgin is usually shy and unable to engage in consultation and obedience, so he made permission sufficient for her.
And from the benefits of this hadith: the condition of the wife's consent, even if the one giving her in marriage is the father. The point is: this prohibition does not contain an exception, and if there is no exception, what is the original rule? The original rule is generality. So the father does not marry off his virgin daughter except with her permission, nor a previously married daughter except with her permission, like the rest of the guardians.
And it is derived from this hadith by analogy: the condition of the husband's consent, and that if he is married off under coercion, the marriage is not valid. Is it possible for someone to be married off under coercion?
The student: Yes.
The Shaykh : It is possible, because some people force their son to marry his sister's daughter, i.e., the daughter of his father's sister, who is his cousin's daughter. He forces him and says: It is necessary. So if he forces him and he marries his cousin's daughter under coercion, the marriage is not valid.
Yes, what do you say about a man who asked his virgin daughter's permission and said: So-and-so has proposed to you, shall we marry you to him? She said: Yes, I do not seek anyone but a man like this, and praise be to Allah who guided him to me. Do we marry her?
The student: Yes, a fortiori.
The Shaykh : Yes, a fortiori, but the Zahiriyyah say: Do not marry her. Why? Because the Messenger of Allah said:
Her permission is her silence.
إذنها أن تسكتThe student: Marry her.
Another student: You have done well regarding the silence.
The Shaykh : You have done well regarding the silence. Now, what contradicts this? Let us give another example. He asked her permission and she cried?
The student: ...
The Shaykh : This is looked into. In any case: the scholars differed on this issue, on both issues. Some said: If she laughed, it is not permission, because she may laugh in amazement at her father's state, as if she is saying: How will you marry me? How will you send me away from my home? So the laughter is laughter of disapproval, not laughter of approval. And some said: Rather, this is permission, because laughter indicates relaxation, joy, and happiness. Yes, so it is more eloquent than silence. Now, the one who cried, which is closer? Is crying closer to prohibition or to permission?
The student: To permission.
The Shaykh : By Allah, the apparent is that it is closer to prohibition. But with that, the jurists, may Allah have mercy on them, say: Even if she laughed or cried, it is permission. But what appears is that if she cried, she does not want to get married. Yes, and the crying may be from joy, but the closer is that it is not permission. But if he said: You do not cry, what do you say? And she remained silent, then it is permission. Yes.