The Ruling on a Man Frequently Threatening His Family with Divorce

Question:
One of the listening sisters, who indicated her name with the letters (K. K. Z), from Al-Bahah, says: She is a woman of about forty years of age. She lived with her husband and shared with him both good times and bad. She has six sons and four daughters from him, besides those whom Allah took in their youth. However, when he becomes angry over any matter of his worldly affairs, whether that matter concerns the home or is outside the home, he says things to her that make one’s hair stand on end, including injustice and slander. But she is patient and says: “This is my husband and the father of my children, and I will receive the reward for my patience.” But what she wishes to ask about is that when he is angry, he repeats his saying: “Three words and you will leave the house.” She has no knowledge of what those three words are! But as is well known, they are the words of separation between a man and a woman. What is your opinion regarding this man’s statement? May Allah reward you with good.

Answer:
We advise you to be patient and to seek reward from Allah, and to supplicate for his guidance, asking Allah to guide him and help him so that he guards his tongue and protects it from foul words. Supplication is required from both women and men alike. Allah says: [Surah Ghafir: 60] And He, the Exalted, is the One who said: [Surah al-Baqarah: 186] You are to be thanked for your patience, seeking reward, and endurance of this man who speaks what is not befitting when he is angry. This is along with advising him during times of calm; you should advise him with kind words, to be patient, and not to utter words that harm and cause damage, because he sins by them and they harm him.
As for his saying, “Three words and you will leave,” this does not harm you, as long as he did not say them, it does not harm. If he said “three,” it means he is threatening; its meaning is a threat, meaning: “Behave yourself or I will divorce you.” This means it is a threat. It does not harm you, and there is no blame on you in this, in the category of a threat. Yes.