The ruling on digging up a grave, scattering grains on it, and women visiting graves

Q: When one of us dies in Sudan, after forty days the family visits the grave. The women and children open the grave, and with them they have corn kernels which they scatter on the deceased, and they throw stones on the deceased, I believe. And do women visit the grave?

A: This is a religious innovation (bid'ah) with no basis in the Shari'ah. Throwing grains, perfume, and clothes is all what is wrong (munkar) with no basis. The grave is not opened except for a need, such as if the workers forget their tools, like a shovel, so it is opened for that, or if something of importance falls to one of them, so the grave is opened for that. As for opening it for grains or his clothes or the like, it is not permissible. Women do not have the right to visit graves, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed the women who visit graves, and that was narrated from Abu Hurayrah, Ibn Abbas, and Hassan ibn Thabit (may Allah be pleased with them) . Therefore, it is not permissible for them to visit them. However, it is prescribed for men, due to the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): narrated by Muslim in his Sahih. The wisdom, and Allah knows best, in prohibiting women from that is that they are a trial (fitnah) and have little patience.