The Necessity of Patience When Advising Relatives or One Who Relapsed After Committing to the Faith
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Question:
If I have a brother who calls to advice, but he was excessive and severe, then he turned back on his heels, and it became rare for him to pray, so my family took a harsh stance against him, and they no longer tolerate anyone who gives them advice, especially the older brothers. When I advise them, they use ugly words against me and hurt me, and sometimes some of them assault me. What is your opinion? Should I be patient with them, or what should I do? And am I free from blame for what they do?
Answer:
You must be patient. The messengers (peace and blessings be upon them) were patient, and at their head is our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). Allah the Exalted said: [Al-Ahqaf: 35]. So Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was patient, and they hurt him, cursed him, strangled him, and placed the placenta on his back, among other things the enemies did. He did not panic, nor did he abandon the call to Allah; rather, he was patient. Allah the Exalted said: [Al-Hijr: 94], and He said: [An-Nahl: 127].
So the believer must be patient, and you must strive, but with wisdom, with kind words, not with severity. As for your brother who relapsed, do not despair of him. Advise him, perhaps Allah will return him to the right path. Advise him, you and your brothers and your companions. Do not be alone; have two, three, or four good people with you so that you go to him, observe him, and guide him to good with kind words and wisdom. And so with your brothers and your family. Do not despair and do not panic, even if you are hurt.
If everyone who is hurt were to leave, the call would be abandoned. Patience in advice and the call is necessary, even if a person is hurt in that. He has a great example in the best of creation, the messengers (peace and blessings be upon them). So you are patient and seek reward, not with your brother or your family, but with kind words and good manner, not with violence, not with severity, not with cursing, and not with taunting. No, with kind words, with Qur'anic verses, with Prophetic hadiths, and with good manner, perhaps you will be of benefit.
If I have a brother who calls to advice, but he was excessive and severe, then he turned back on his heels, and it became rare for him to pray, so my family took a harsh stance against him, and they no longer tolerate anyone who gives them advice, especially the older brothers. When I advise them, they use ugly words against me and hurt me, and sometimes some of them assault me. What is your opinion? Should I be patient with them, or what should I do? And am I free from blame for what they do?
Answer:
You must be patient. The messengers (peace and blessings be upon them) were patient, and at their head is our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). Allah the Exalted said:
So be patient, [O Muhammad], as were those of determination among the messengers and do not be impatient for them.
فَاصْبِرْ كَمَا صَبَرَ أُولُو الْعَزْمِ مِنَ الرُّسُلِ وَلَا تَسْتَعْجِلْ لَهُمْThen declare what you are commanded and turn away from the polytheists.
فَاصْدَعْ بِمَا تُؤْمَرُ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْمُشْرِكِينَAnd be patient, [O Muhammad], and your patience is not but through Allah. And do not grieve over them and do not be in distress over what they conspire.
وَاصْبِرْ وَمَا صَبْرُكَ إِلَّا بِاللَّهِ وَلَا تَحْزَنْ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا تَكُ فِي ضَيْقٍ مِمَّا يَمْكُرُونَSo the believer must be patient, and you must strive, but with wisdom, with kind words, not with severity. As for your brother who relapsed, do not despair of him. Advise him, perhaps Allah will return him to the right path. Advise him, you and your brothers and your companions. Do not be alone; have two, three, or four good people with you so that you go to him, observe him, and guide him to good with kind words and wisdom. And so with your brothers and your family. Do not despair and do not panic, even if you are hurt.
If everyone who is hurt were to leave, the call would be abandoned. Patience in advice and the call is necessary, even if a person is hurt in that. He has a great example in the best of creation, the messengers (peace and blessings be upon them). So you are patient and seek reward, not with your brother or your family, but with kind words and good manner, not with violence, not with severity, not with cursing, and not with taunting. No, with kind words, with Qur'anic verses, with Prophetic hadiths, and with good manner, perhaps you will be of benefit.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.