A man said to his wife, "If you go to a specific place, you are forbidden to me," and then she went. What is his obligation?
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The questioner : He says: When I was in my country, I told my wife, "If you go to such-and-such a place, you are forbidden to me," and I did not pronounce the divorce. After I traveled, I was informed that she had gone to that place. What must I do?
The Shaykh : Before answering this question, I would like to advise you and anyone listening that a person should not use the word "forbidden" or the word "divorce" or the word "zihar" or similar terms when he wants to prevent his family from doing something. He should have a strong personality such that he does not need to emphasize matters with such words. Allah the Exalted said to His Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):[At-Tahrim 66:1]. So, restrain your tongue from such words, and be strong in personality so that your words have an effect on your wife without you needing to emphasize them with such things.
As for what happened with your wife, if the wife remained as you wished, you owe nothing. If she defied you, you are required to pay the expiation for an oath for having forbidden her. The expiation for an oath is freeing a slave, or feeding ten poor people, or clothing them. Whoever does not find the means to do so must fast for three consecutive days. Feeding the poor in the expiation for an oath is done in two ways: either one prepares a lunch or dinner and gathers the poor people to eat, or one gives them ten mudds of uncooked rice, and it is good to include something edible, such as meat or otherwise, to complete the feeding.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : The mudds referred to are the Prophetic mudds, where the mudd is a quarter of a Prophetic sa'. The Prophetic sa' is two kilograms and forty grams of good wheat. Whatever holds this weight of good wheat is a Prophetic sa'. Yes.
The Shaykh : Before answering this question, I would like to advise you and anyone listening that a person should not use the word "forbidden" or the word "divorce" or the word "zihar" or similar terms when he wants to prevent his family from doing something. He should have a strong personality such that he does not need to emphasize matters with such words. Allah the Exalted said to His Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
O Prophet, why do you prohibit [yourself from] what Allah has made lawful for you, seeking the approval of your wives? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.
يا أيها النبي لم تحرم ما أحل الله لك تبتغي مرضاة أزواجك والله غفور رحيمAs for what happened with your wife, if the wife remained as you wished, you owe nothing. If she defied you, you are required to pay the expiation for an oath for having forbidden her. The expiation for an oath is freeing a slave, or feeding ten poor people, or clothing them. Whoever does not find the means to do so must fast for three consecutive days. Feeding the poor in the expiation for an oath is done in two ways: either one prepares a lunch or dinner and gathers the poor people to eat, or one gives them ten mudds of uncooked rice, and it is good to include something edible, such as meat or otherwise, to complete the feeding.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : The mudds referred to are the Prophetic mudds, where the mudd is a quarter of a Prophetic sa'. The Prophetic sa' is two kilograms and forty grams of good wheat. Whatever holds this weight of good wheat is a Prophetic sa'. Yes.