Performing Innovations for the Deceased
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Fatwa No. ( 9449 )
Q: My father passed away two years ago. It is the custom of the people in our town for men and women to go out to the graveyards, make pastries, and bring a group to recite the Qur'an for the soul of the deceased. I did not follow this practice.
I told my mother: This is forbidden (haram). I tried to guide her and direct her to what is correct and better, but she was not pleased with that. The night of the Eid of Ramadan came, and she said to me: Come, let us go to the graveyard. I said to her: This action is forbidden (haram). She left me in anger and cursed me with words that angered me. I did not respond to her and cut off my affection for her. I go to her house, but she does not respond to me, and she is now angry with me. Please advise us, may Allah reward you with good.
A : Continue advising your mother with kindness, gentleness, and softness. Continue visiting her and being dutiful to her. Begin with the greeting (salam) even if she does not respond to you. Do not obey her in disobedience to Allah. If she accepts the advice, praise be to Allah. If she persists in what Allah has forbidden, treat her with kindness in this world, as Allah the Exalted said:[Luqman 31:14] until He said: [Luqman 31:15] Your advising her is not considered undutifulness to her, even if she is angry about it, as long as it is done with kindness and good admonition. And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Q: My father passed away two years ago. It is the custom of the people in our town for men and women to go out to the graveyards, make pastries, and bring a group to recite the Qur'an for the soul of the deceased. I did not follow this practice.
I told my mother: This is forbidden (haram). I tried to guide her and direct her to what is correct and better, but she was not pleased with that. The night of the Eid of Ramadan came, and she said to me: Come, let us go to the graveyard. I said to her: This action is forbidden (haram). She left me in anger and cursed me with words that angered me. I did not respond to her and cut off my affection for her. I go to her house, but she does not respond to me, and she is now angry with me. Please advise us, may Allah reward you with good.
A : Continue advising your mother with kindness, gentleness, and softness. Continue visiting her and being dutiful to her. Begin with the greeting (salam) even if she does not respond to you. Do not obey her in disobedience to Allah. If she accepts the advice, praise be to Allah. If she persists in what Allah has forbidden, treat her with kindness in this world, as Allah the Exalted said:
And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍbut accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness
وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا
Source
www.alifta.gov.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.