A young man who is twenty-nine years old and whose parents wanted to marry him to a girl he does not desire and does not want as a wife, and after they pressed him, he became angry at

The questioner : A young man who is twenty-nine years old, and whose parents wanted to marry him to a girl he does not desire and does not want as a wife. After they pressed him, he became angry at his parents' behavior and swore, saying: "It is forbidden for me to marry before ten years have passed from that time, and if any woman enters my house, she is forbidden to me, just like my mother and my sister." So he asks: What is required of him regarding this statement? And what is the ruling if he marries before the ten years he specified have passed?

The Shaykh : This man has erred against himself by swearing this oath not to marry except after ten years, because what he did is contrary to what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded. Indeed, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: And this man has had marriage facilitated for him by Allah, and his parents have commanded him to do so. Thus, marriage is certain for him by the command of Allah (Mighty and Majestic) and the request of his parents that he marry. His behavior in this is foolish, and he should not persist in it; that is, he should marry. As for the prohibition he committed, he must expiate it with the expiation of an oath. This does not constitute zihar, because he did not have a wife from whom to commit zihar. Zihar, according to the stronger opinion, is not valid except from a wife to whom a marriage contract has been made, based on the saying of Allah the Exalted: So he attributed zihar to his wives. A woman before he marries her is not among his wives, so his zihar does not apply to her. If he waits until the full ten years have passed and then marries, he owes nothing in terms of expiation, because he completed what he swore to.

The questioner : In this case, he has committed zihar from her, knowing that she may be a specific person, because she will be his wife. There is no difference in this between her being specific or not, as long as he has not contracted marriage with her?

The Shaykh : Yes, there is no difference between her being specific or not specific, as long as he has not contracted marriage. Because, as I mentioned, zihar does not occur except with a wife, since Allah said: Just as divorce does not occur except with a wife, so zihar does not occur except with a wife. And just as ila' does not occur except from a wife, so zihar does not occur except from a wife. There is no difference between these three matters according to the stronger opinion.

The questioner : Yes, may Allah reward you with good.