Are there harms in the religion caused by the high cost of bridal gifts?
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The questioner : Is there no issue with the high cost of bridal gifts to this extent from the perspective of the religion, and the difficulty it causes in marriage matters and the like?
The Shaykh : There is no doubt that the high cost of bridal gifts is a cause for the decrease in marriage. It is recommended to encourage marriage so that the Muslim community increases, its offspring multiplies, and good is attained for it. Therefore, Muslims in general should strive to reduce the bridal gift as much as possible, because increasing the bridal gift has harms. The first harm is that it is contrary to the Sunnah, for the scholars say: it is recommended to be lenient in the bridal gift.
Second: It is a cause for being deprived of blessing, for one of the blessings of marriage is that it is easy in terms of expense.
Third: The high cost of bridal gifts is a cause for keeping the wife or clinging to the wife despite bad marital relations, because if a man knows that he will not find a wife except with a large bridal gift, and that he has already paid a large bridal gift to this wife, he will cling to her even if the relations between them are bad. In this lies obvious mental and physical exhaustion, so he hardly ever divorces her. But if bridal gifts were modest, a person would be able to divorce if it is not possible for the spouses to live together.
The fourth matter among the harms of increasing the bridal gift is: if the relations between them become bad and it is not possible to remain together, this husband may request khul' (divorce at the wife's request for compensation) by asking them to return what he gave them, and then he burdens them, meaning he burdens the wife and her family, with exorbitant amounts that they may not be able to fulfill.
This is among the harms of increasing bridal gifts.
What I wish for the general Muslims to do is to strive with utmost effort to reduce bridal gifts. The beginning of this matter should be from the elders, leaders, and those of status and honor, so that people follow them in this. If people see their notables, elders, and honorable ones have reduced bridal gifts, they will follow them in this. In such matters, speaking or writing is not sufficient; rather, nothing benefits with a significant effect except implementing it in practice. If people talk about so-and-so paying this small bridal gift and marrying, and he is from the notables, honorable ones, and prominent figures, it will become easy for them afterwards to marry with small bridal gifts.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : There is no doubt that the high cost of bridal gifts is a cause for the decrease in marriage. It is recommended to encourage marriage so that the Muslim community increases, its offspring multiplies, and good is attained for it. Therefore, Muslims in general should strive to reduce the bridal gift as much as possible, because increasing the bridal gift has harms. The first harm is that it is contrary to the Sunnah, for the scholars say: it is recommended to be lenient in the bridal gift.
Second: It is a cause for being deprived of blessing, for one of the blessings of marriage is that it is easy in terms of expense.
Third: The high cost of bridal gifts is a cause for keeping the wife or clinging to the wife despite bad marital relations, because if a man knows that he will not find a wife except with a large bridal gift, and that he has already paid a large bridal gift to this wife, he will cling to her even if the relations between them are bad. In this lies obvious mental and physical exhaustion, so he hardly ever divorces her. But if bridal gifts were modest, a person would be able to divorce if it is not possible for the spouses to live together.
The fourth matter among the harms of increasing the bridal gift is: if the relations between them become bad and it is not possible to remain together, this husband may request khul' (divorce at the wife's request for compensation) by asking them to return what he gave them, and then he burdens them, meaning he burdens the wife and her family, with exorbitant amounts that they may not be able to fulfill.
This is among the harms of increasing bridal gifts.
What I wish for the general Muslims to do is to strive with utmost effort to reduce bridal gifts. The beginning of this matter should be from the elders, leaders, and those of status and honor, so that people follow them in this. If people see their notables, elders, and honorable ones have reduced bridal gifts, they will follow them in this. In such matters, speaking or writing is not sufficient; rather, nothing benefits with a significant effect except implementing it in practice. If people talk about so-and-so paying this small bridal gift and marrying, and he is from the notables, honorable ones, and prominent figures, it will become easy for them afterwards to marry with small bridal gifts.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.