Benefits of the Hadith of Rafi' ibn Khadij and Sahl ibn Abi Hatim. He said: (

The Shaykh : And what precedes it yields a lesson on one of the etiquettes of gatherings. In reality, we are in need of adhering to these etiquettes. What I observe among men—and I cannot but measure women by the standard of men, if women are in a worse state than men in this matter—is that this etiquette, regarding giving precedence to the elder in speech, is not observed or adhered to at all. Every one of us wants to start speaking; every one of us wants to take the lead in the gathering so that he can speak, whether the speech is about a matter he knows or one he does not know. More than this, and with great regret, a question is directed to the Shaykh, and the student rushes to answer without at least seeking the Shaykh's permission or asking his leave, and there is nothing. This etiquette has been neglected by the masses of students of knowledge and the cultured youth, let alone others. The cause goes back to two things: The first is that the fathers of Muslims have, for as long as Allah has willed, been distant from raising their children with Islamic upbringing. And this, in fact, goes back to the second cause, which is ignorance of the Sunnah and of Islamic etiquettes. From where would a father raise [his children] who has not heard such a hadith, or even the one before it: or or ? Therefore, this disorder and these abandoned, neglected etiquettes in our lands go back to two things: The first goes back to the other, which is ignorance of the Sunnah. Therefore, whoever is ignorant of something opposes it. The one who does not know these rulings does not conduct himself with them, let alone conduct others with them. Take, for example, to this day many of the great Muslims, indeed Shaykhs, scholars, and judges, when they sit at the dining table, still eat with their left hand. Personally, I used to gather in some sessions at the Islamic University, invited to these sessions were great scholars, and when the tea or coffee came, he would take it and drink with his left hand. He is a Shaykh like my age or older than me, so we are forced to whisper to him in secret, reminding him, and he would thank us. But soon the old proverb applies to him: "A habit is a habit," the habit overcomes him, and he returns to drinking with his left hand. IfThe Shaykh : and the elder father is like this, what will be the state of the son?! As he saw his father and his mother, he follows their ways. So these habits must be revived; we must conduct ourselves in gatherings with the etiquettes of the Sunnah. We know the right of the elder and do not speak in his presence except after seeking permission, for perhaps he has speech in his mind, and at that time, due to his knowledge and his age, he has his experiences and his benefits that he has acquired over his long life, so he may speak better than others. And I am pleased on this occasion to end the word with that 'Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) said when the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) passed away: "I intended to give a sermon and ascend the pulpit, but Abu Bakr took me and ascended before me. He said: And I had prepared in my mind a speech." This is an Arabic style we do not know today, because we know "tazwir" (preparation) in the sense of cheating, meaning false testimony. No, here the intended meaning of "I prepared in my mind a speech" is that he arranged it, meaning he set out a plan for what he should say on that occasion. Now, I suspect it was on the occasion of the death of the Messenger or on the occasion of the election of the successor of the Messenger, perhaps this second one is the most correct. So our master 'Umar had prepared in his mind a speech to speak on that occasion. When Abu Bakr al-Siddiq began to speak, he said: "He did not leave anything that was in his mind and that he had prepared except that Abu Bakr al-Siddiq (may Allah be pleased with him) came to it." This is the virtue of making room for people of virtue, knowledge, and age. And there is no doubt that Abu Bakr al-Siddiq is older in age than 'Umar ibn al-Khattab.
And this is sufficient, and praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.