The Shaykh spoke about the etiquette of the student of knowledge with his shaykhs and in their gatherings

The questioner : Our Shaykh, it is known that, meaning, from the etiquette with our shaykhs (may Allah preserve them) or from their right over us, is that we be polite with them, serve them, and be humble before them. But we want you, may Allah bless you, to clarify for us the general framework such that if a person exceeds it, he has exaggerated, and if he falls short of it, he has been rude or has not fulfilled their right.The Shaykh : And especially in the gatherings of knowledge, because perhaps I have seen some of the brothers andThe Shaykh : he speaks (may Allah preserve him), they joke and discuss, and so on, so this gives the circle a diminished sense of the true dignity of the circle.The Shaykh : He speaks, may Allah preserve him, they joke and discuss, and so on. This gives the program a lightness that diminishes the true dignity of the program.

The Shaykh : Correct.

The questioner : So, by Allah, I am concerned for some of these brothers, and I also see thatThe Shaykh : he does not like to embarrass them or say something to them, so if you could just say a word.

The Shaykh : May Allah reward you with good. This question comes with a lecture, so may Allah reward you.

The questioner : May Allah honor you, may Allah reward you with good.

The Shaykh : My answer to a question like this is, first, that we cannot assume the existence of a Shaykh in this time as I used to hear from some of the shaykhs there in Damascus. One used to say to me, "I go down every day and walk in the street, in the market, and I take a close look at the faces of the shaykhs, hoping to find in them the perfect guide so that I may study under him." He lived and reached old age, but he did not find the perfect guide. And in my opinion, he will not find him, because there is no perfect guide after the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). Therefore, I cannot give the etiquette for a particular Shaykh, no matter how good people’s opinion of him is, what the Companions of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) gave him in the way of veneration, esteem, and respect. But what can be said on this occasion is the saying of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) that is well-known and encompasses all the rulings of the religion: So the best thing that can be offered in the way of honoring and revering a Shaykh, when people have a good opinion of him, is not more than this, but rather close to what his Companions (peace and blessings be upon him) gave him in the way of veneration, reverence, and respect. For example, we know that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), when he entered upon his Companions, they did not stand up for him. From this, we understand that it is not part of the etiquette that many shaykhs follow, where if one of them enters the gathering of his Companions, they stand up for him. This is not part of the veneration and reverence commanded by the Shari'ah. If one of the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) met him on a road or in a gathering, it was not their custom to kiss his hand. Likewise, it is not part of respectingThe Shaykh : and revering him to kiss his hand. But at the same time, I must remind you that I distinguish between the first matter and the second, between the standing up of the disciples or the lovers for their Shaykh, which is not permissible and we do not tolerate it, and one of them kissing his hand, which we may tolerate. But I want to say that this was not part of the guidance of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) with his Companions, or rather, contrary to what I said, this was not the custom of the Companions of the Prophet with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). These are negative matters I wanted to remind you of so that we advise people against their negligence, for they think that these two appearances, standing up and kissing the hand, are part of the reverence commanded in Islam. The answer is no. But first, what appears to be part of revering the scholar is, above all, understanding from him correctly. Then, this understanding must be accompanied by applying the action according to this knowledge. Therefore, we read in the books of hadith and others that the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did not learn ten verses or a section of the Noble Qur'an without learning it by recitation and interpretation, then accompanied by application and action. So the great deficiency that exists today between the students and some of the shaykhs is confined to this great aspect, which is that they are satisfied with listening to the lesson and then do not implement or apply what they learned of the knowledge, especially if it is hadith knowledge that has reached their ears anew. Very, very rarely do we see one who memorizes from here and applies from there, unless you remain standing over him, pursuing him with reminders and teaching. After that, he may respond, or he may not. So this is the first thing that indicates the reverence we are commanded to have. As for the other matters, respecting the scholarly gathering that you referred to, this is also one of the duties of the students of knowledge in the circles of dhikr. It is established in the Sunnah that the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), when they sat before him, it was as if there were birds on their heads, and one of them would be shy to raise his gaze to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). And I mention on this occasion that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), when he ordered Abdullah ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with him) one day to recite the Qur'an to him, he said to him, "O Messenger of Allah, shall I recite the Qur'an to you, while it was revealed to you?" He said: So he began to recite. When he reached the saying of Allah the Exalted: The point is, where? Ibn Mas'ud says, "One of them nudged me, so I looked, and the Messenger (peace be upon him) had tears in his eyes." The point is that he had lowered his gaze out of etiquette with his Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), and he did not notice that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was overcome by the awe of the situation, on the day when every Prophet will be brought as a witness, and he (peace be upon him) will be brought as a witness over them, so his eyes (peace be upon him) shed tears. He did not see that from him until his companion alerted him. The point is that these are such etiquettes, and these are high and very high etiquettes, but they require people of perfection who are very close to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). In any case, we can summarize this topic in one word: you will not find shaykhs like those people, the followers of the Messenger and his Companions, and you will not find listeners and students like those students. But we say to these and those: "So imitate them, even if you are not like them *** For imitating the noble ones is success."
But we know that among the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) there was one who was known as the specialist in carrying his sandals. Do you think that this is part of the etiquette that a loving student should do for his Shaykh, if we do not say, in the Sufi expression, that he is a slave in his love for his Shaykh? Do we allow him to do such a thing? I say no. Why? Because such exaltation may be a fitnah for both the follower and the followed at the same time. And it is good on this occasion that I say, or that I quote, a word from the Hafiz of Andalusia in his time, Abu 'Umar ibn 'Abd al-Barr, where he said, "Kissing the hand is the lesser prostration." And he said, or someone else, I am uncertain now from my side, he said, "It is a fitnah for the followed and a humiliation for the follower." Kissing the hand, and this is sometimes seen when kissing the handThe Shaykh : is accompanied by bowing in prostration. Bowing is a type of prostration. That is what is indicated by the hadith of Mu'adh ibn Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him) when he visited Damascus in the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and was absent from him for days. Without a doubt, during this absence, the longing for his Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) had intensified. This is shown when Mu'adh’s gaze first fell upon the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) when he met him; he wanted to prostrate to him, so he (peace and blessings be upon him) forbade him and said to him: He said, "O Messenger of Allah, I came to Sham and saw the Christians prostrating to their priests and monks, and I saw that you are more worthy of prostration than they are." And in some of the hadiths: So he wanted to exalt him in reverence and respect, but this is not part of exaltation, and it is more severe or harsher in its prohibition than standing up for him (peace be upon him). The point is that a man or a student of knowledge who exalts his Shaykh by carrying his sandals, if this had beenThe Shaykh : in the perfection of his Prophet andThe student : in the perfection of Ibn Mas'ud, we would have permitted it and would not have feared a fitnah for the followed or a humiliation for the follower. Therefore, we cannot say that the respect that the Companions of the Messenger (peace be upon him) had with their Prophet should be what students of knowledge have with their scholars. And for you, as we said at the beginning of the speech: As for the gatherings of knowledge, they should be of calmness and silence to the extent that, as it is said with exaggeration, if a needle were dropped, its hum and ringing would not be heard at all. This is what comes to my mind as an answer to that question, and may Allah reward you with good.

The questioner : Placing the hand is a custom here in our land.

The Shaykh : Prostration as well.

The questioner : And the father and the brother.

The Shaykh : The practice of kissing hands is only established for scholars. What is mentioned in some books of Islamic jurisprudence, in addition to this established practice, such as kissing the hand of a righteous man, a just ruler, or one’s parents, is all an addition based on opinion. There is absolutely no room for such additions, because we always say, “Every good is in following the Salaf, and every evil is in the innovation of the Khalaf.”
As for what concerns kissing the hands of one’s parents, this is a matter of etiquette between a father and his son. If it were an Islamic etiquette, the predecessors would have preceded us in it. We say the same regarding kissing the hand of a righteous person or a just ruler. There were rulers in the early days of Islam who were just among the people. As for the Rightly Guided Caliphs, their status is too well-known to be mentioned. But those who came after them, about a century later, included 'Umar ibn 'Abd al-'Aziz, who is cited as an example of his justice and his ruling among the Muslims by the Book and the Sunnah. Even so, we have not known the scholars and the righteous ones to kiss his hand. Therefore, all of this is among the newly invented matters. And what is such cannot be analogized to what is established regarding the kissing of the hands of scholars, starting from the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and descending to some of the Companions, such as Zayd ibn Thabit with Ibn 'Abbas, and the like. This is a clarification.

Another questioner : Kissing the hand, a wife for her husband, O Shaykh, is it a form of caressing?

The Shaykh : Hmm, this is a different matter, because the kissing might extend beyond that.

The questioner : Our Shaykh, this is not among the private matters of the spouses.

The Shaykh : We did not say it might extend to others.