How do we explain the hadith (that the deceased is indeed punished by the weeping of his family over him)?

The questioner : The hadith or something similar to it.

The Shaykh : Yes, I do.

The questioner : How was it explained?

The Shaykh : There was a disagreement between Aisha and Ibn Umar, and others among the Companions, regarding this. The Lady Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) rejected this hadith and said that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) only said this hadith regarding some of the Jews who used to weep over their dead. However, the scholars of hadith did not agree with her rejection. This is because the hadith was narrated by a group of Companions other than Ibn Umar; his father Umar narrated it, and others besides Umar and his son Abdullah narrated it, as did al-Mughirah ibn Shu'bah. Therefore, there is no room for the doubt cast upon Ibn Umar as the Lady Aisha did. This doubt would have been possible if Ibn Umar alone had narrated this hadith, but since his father and al-Mughirah ibn Shu'bah are with him, the three are more memorizing than the one, who is Aisha. If Ibn Umar had been alone, it would have been possible at that time for Aisha's opinion and statement to prevail over Ibn Umar's statement, because the Lady Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), as you know, is the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and accompanied him for as long as Allah willed in most times, unlike Abdullah ibn Umar. If Ibn Umar had been the only one to narrate this hadith and Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) had pointed out his error, it would have been possible to accept her correction and adopt her hadith over Ibn Umar's, as happened to her in another case. That was when Ibn Umar narrated that , so it was said to Aisha, "Listen to what Abdullah ibn Umar is saying." She said, "What is he saying? What is he saying?"
He says: , so she said: "Abdullah ibn Umar has certainly forgotten, may Allah have mercy on him. The Messenger of Allah did not perform Umrah except in the month of Dhul-Qa'dah". It came in some narrations that when Aisha mentioned this, Ibn Umar heard her words and did not say a word, which suggests that he felt that he was indeed mistaken.

The questioner : ... .

The Shaykh : Yes.

The questioner : He made a mistake.

The Shaykh : Yes, yes, but our hadith does not allow us to adopt Aisha's opinion and declare Abdullah ibn Umar wrong, as we did with the hadith of Umrah, because as I mentioned earlier, Umar himself and al-Mughirah ibn Shu'bah are with Ibn Umar. There is something that must be mentioned because the answer to your question is not complete. Your question was about the meaning of the hadith? What is intended by it? The scholars have two opinions in interpreting . Some say: "The punishment mentioned in the hadith is the punishment of the Hereafter", and some say: "The intended meaning of the punishment is pain and sorrow". The one who holds this opinion means that the deceased hears the weeping of the living over him, so he regrets their regret and grieves over their grief; this is the punishment the Messenger intended in the hadith according to some. As for the first group, who are the majority, they say: "He is truly punished". Here, the statement of the Lady Aisha mentioned and referred to earlier applies: why did she reject this hadith? Because she understood that the punishment here means punishment by fire or extreme cold or something similar to that which is known. So she said: "Why is he punished when Allah says:

and no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another

ولا تزر وازرة وزر أخرى

[Al-An'am 6:164]

". The scholars answered this objection by saying that the intended meaning of the hadith, according to the view of the majority, is that the punishment is for the one who dies and does not make a will, and does not advise his family not to weep over him. But if he fulfilled the duty of reminding and advising, and then they wept over him, it does not harm him because he has performed the duty. This is with the note that the intended meaning of weeping is not weeping in general, but rather wailing and raising the voice. If the deceased did not advise or remind his family before his death that when death comes to me, do not shout or wail, because this will be a cause not only for your punishment but also for my punishment, then the hadith is interpreted on this basis. In summary, the deceased who did not remind his family of what is obligatory upon them, which is to advise them not to weep over him when he dies, is the one who is punished. And the punishment does not mean pain and sorrow, but rather the punishment that the sinner deserves on the Day of Resurrection or in the grave. This meaning is supported by the Sunnah and by reasoning. As for the Sunnah, in a narration from al-Mughirah ibn Shu'bah, he said: . He is punished on the Day of Resurrection, whereas the second interpretation, which interprets the punishment as pain, means in the grave. However, the hadith of al-Mughirah says: . As for reasoning, I will mention it shortly, if Allah wills. So the second interpretation is that he feels pain, which means that when the deceased dies, his relationship with people is not cut off; he feels them and is pained by their pain... This statement is not correct, because when the deceased dies, his relationship with this worldly life is cut off, so he does not hear or feel anything, as Allah the Exalted said: . If the dead do not hear, how can it be said that the deceased, when his family weeps and wails over him, feels their weeping and is pained by their pain? This meaning, in addition to contradicting the hadith , contradicts other texts in the Book and the Sunnah that indicate that the deceased does not hear or feel. So we say that the first meaning is the correct one... from what came from... those who interpreted the punishment of the deceased as pain and hardship, and not punishment in the sense of the retribution that the disbeliever or the open sinner receives. Because his saying (peace and blessings be upon him): does not mean the punishment of Hell, but rather hardship. But what I mentioned earlier applies to this: when the deceased dies, his relationship with the world is cut off, so he does not feel anything, nor does he hear or anything else.

The questioner : Our Shaykh, there is a hadith that says: ... the believer in his grave ... and fire is placed upon the disbeliever. What is the explanation of this hadith?

The Shaykh : There is no hadith like that. There is the word "grave," or the striking with the club regarding the disbeliever or the hypocrite, so that is it.

The questioner : We will bring the book, O Shaykh.

The Shaykh : Ah.

The questioner : We will bring the book because he mentioned that it is in the Musnad, Musnad Ahmad.

The Shaykh : Bring the book, from the punishment.

The questioner : From the punishment.

The Shaykh : Yes.