The punishment of the deceased in his grave due to the wailing of his family over him

The first message in this session is from a listener: Muhammad Muhammad Ibrahim Sa'd from the Dakahlia Governorate in the Arab Republic of Egypt. Our brother Muhammad has a collection of questions. In one of his questions, he asks and says: Is it true that the deceased is punished in his grave because of the wailing of his family over him? And if this is true, what is the sin of the deceased in this punishment, knowing that this is not from his own actions?
Answer: In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Praise be to Allah, and may Allah send blessings and peace upon the Messenger of Allah, upon his family and his Companions, and upon those who follow his guidance.
As for what follows: It has been established from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said: , and in the other wording: , and upon us is obedience and compliance, and Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, [Al-Anbiya: 23].
The weeping mentioned in the hadith means wailing (niyaha). In some narrations, it is mentioned as "weeping," but the intended meaning is wailing. The weeping for which punishment is incurred is wailing, meaning raising the voice. As for tears from the eyes, there is no harm in that.
Perhaps the wisdom in this is that one should strive to advise his family and relatives not to wail, and to warn them of this during his lifetime, so that he is not punished in his grave because of their actions. Perhaps the punishment that occurs in the grave because of their actions is a specific punishment whose nature we do not know. As for His saying, Exalted and Majestic is He: [Al-An'am: 164], this is a general statement and this is a specific one. The specific does not contradict the general, but rather specifies it. There are parallels in the Shari'ah where the general comes and the specific comes, so do not be surprised by that. And I have come to know that the wisdom in this, and Allah knows best, is that his knowledge that he will be punished by wailing leads him to advise them to leave it and warn them of this pre-Islamic age of ignorance (jahiliyyah) sin. And they, likewise, if they know this, it will be more likely to lead to their patience and lack of despair, and to their leaving off wailing out of mercy for their deceased and fear of his being punished because of their actions. We ask Allah for guidance and success for us and for them. Yes.
The presenter: O Allah, amen, may Allah reward you with good.