A woman wants to buy gold with her own money, and she wants to buy gold bracelets, so her husband forbade her from buying them; but she did not agree.

Eid Abbasi : A woman has two thousand Syrian pounds from her own money, and she wants to buy gold bracelets with them. Her husband ordered her not to do so, because it is forbidden, but she did not agree, and she is insistent on it. He has five children from her; so what should he do? Please answer us, and we thank you.

The Shaykh : A question like this, or one exactly like it, is repeated often. For example, here the question concerns a disputed issue, and I will answer it, of course, but I want to draw attention to something greater and more dangerous than it. Someone says: "My wife does not pray, and I have so many children from her, what should I do?" Or: "My wife displays her adornment and does not wear the Shari'ah-prescribed outer garment, what should I do?" In this situation, we cannot simply say: "Divorce her" or "Do not divorce her." Why? Because this matter should have been considered before the marriage took place, and if the marriage took place, then before the child was born, and if the child was born, then before the child grew up. The person under obligation must have followed all these steps. But after the ship has sunk, he comes and asks: "What should I do?" If I tell him: "Divorce this wife since she does not pray and since she displays her adornment," I fear for you what I fear for her. And I cannot judge you on what your self-control is, what your struggle with your Lord is, and so on.
So I say here: ; so are you the husband of this woman with so many children, if you divorce her because she does not obey you, in general now, she does not obey you in what she is obligated to obey you in; are you able to take in the children and raise them, especially since today, due to the corruption of times, it is very, very difficult for a man who becomes a bachelor or a widower, as they say, to find a woman who agrees to be his wife; because the greatest defect is to be a husband and a divorcer first; because divorce is due to non-Islamic directives that emanate from Islamic radio stations that claim to turn Muslims away from divorce, and how quickly one of them says: "The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: ," and this is a weak hadith if they knew the science of hadith, and if that were the case, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) would not have divorced Hafsa, and when he divorced her, Jibril came to him (peace and blessings be upon him) and said to him: "Take back Hafsa; for she is one who fasts and is a good manager," not one who leaves prayer and displays her adornment, but one who fasts and is a good manager, yet the Messenger (peace be upon him) divorced her, and there is no doubt that the Messenger divorced her for a reason, and not every reason that can exist between a husband and wife can be known by some people, and from here comes the corruption of some Shari'ah rulings, as they claim today; where they bring in the Shari'ah judge, and if only he were a Shari'ah judge; meaning he judges by what Allah has revealed, but he gets between the woman and her husband, and he wants to know, what do they say in the colloquial language?

Eid Abbasi : The onion and its peel.

The Shaykh : The onion and its peel, he wants to know the details, my brother, not everything that is known can be spoken of; therefore, we cannot say to any man who complains that his wife does not obey him in the obedience of Allah (Mighty and Majestic) that he should divorce her; why? For the reason mentioned above. But if there is a self-reliant man and a pious man who will divorce her and be patient with the divine decree and destiny, and he will take care of raising his children, and if he is not granted another wife, it is not permissible for him to keep her in this situation as long as she disobeys Allah (Mighty and Majestic).
We return now to the question, this is general talk, we pray here.

The questioner : There is no water...

The Shaykh : There is no water, okay, the one who has performed ablution prays here, and the one who has not performed ablution joins the prayer in the mosque after we finish this short talk.
So this specific question, the woman who does not obey her husband who reminds her of the hadiths of the Messenger that forbid gold jewelry for women, she is a sinner twice; the first time: she is a sinner against the Shari'ah, the second time: she is a sinner against her husband; because the husband has obedience from his wife like the Muslim ruler over his people.
The Muslim ruler who rules by what Allah has revealed and by what the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) brought, if he forbids the Muslim people from something that is permissible in principle, this thing becomes forbidden. If the Muslim ruler forbids the Muslim people from something permissible, then it becomes forbidden for the Muslims to do this permissible act; because the Messenger (peace be upon him) ordered in more than one hadith to obey those in authority, and indeed Allah (Mighty and Majestic) before that: "" and the Messenger "" , but.
Yes?

Eid Abbasi : .

The Shaykh: , but this absolute obedience was restricted by one condition; he said: , if the ruler orders a sin, there is no obedience to him, no hearing and no obedience. If the husband orders his wife to commit a sin, there is no obedience to him and no hearing. But if the husband orders his wife to do something permissible, and this is of course permissible, there is no harm on her; because if there were harm, it would not be permissible; so in the meaning of the word, if the husband orders his wife to do something permissible, she must obey him, meaning - for example - "bring the cup," what does "bring the cup" mean? The cup is not obligatory... it is not obligatory, but merely his ordering her makes it obligatory, whether it is empty or full, this is not our concern, if the cup is empty it is empty, if it is full it is full, and so on.
The question: He ordered his wife not to buy gold bracelets because he loves her, and because the Messenger is her Prophet and his Prophet, he said: ; so he loves her, and he does not want to put a gold bracelet on her, but she is a bracelet of fire, but she refuses him except to buy a gold bracelet, so she puts a bracelet of fire on herself. In this situation, I say as I said regarding women who do not pray and do not cover themselves, and so on: if you can bear to divorce this wife, and I imagine that this example is not a unique example; meaning there is, as they say: behind the dune there is what is behind it, I do not imagine a woman living with her husband within the limits of the Shari'ah, obeying him in everything he orders, except in the sin of Allah, and there is nothing between them except this issue, I do not imagine this, this is an example from several examples.
So I say then that either you can divorce her after you follow the Shari'ah path with her: , and I remind men - also - before women, most men do not fear Allah in their women, at least they do not apply this Islamic disciplinary method with their women, maybe he does not have this firmness and strictness, he wants to boycott her in the bed, he is the first to break the covenant!! Because of what? Weakness of will and weakness of personality, so after he follows this path with her, and sees that after a long time and much patience there is no benefit, he divorces her, and Allah (Mighty and Majestic) will provide him with something better than her if he is able, if he is not able, then enjoy her despite her deviation; as came in the authentic hadith that a man came to the Messenger (peace be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allah, my wife does not return the hand of one who touches her. He said: . He said: I love her. He said: .
And peace be upon you.

The questioner: Peace, may Allah bless you.