The impermissibility of social niceties and compromising
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What is the ruling on social niceties regarding certain words that sometimes come from some colleagues at work or elsewhere?The Shaykh: Like what?The questioner: For example, if there is a man with a beard, and another says to his beardless brother: "Sit with us, this one is not one of the extremists," or something like that.
This, may Allah bless you, is called: Compromising, so compromising with people of open sinfulness in the hope that Allah will guide them, there is nothing wrong with that.
As for compromising by saying: I let my beard grow, and you shave your beard, and each is on his own path, this is not permissible,Meaning: It is as if you are saying: Do not tell me, and I will not tell you, this is a compromising that is not permissible.
As for accommodating, it means: That you are being nice to him in the hope that Allah will guide him; because some people, if you treat them harshly for the sake of a sin, they persist in it, and if you treat them gently, they may respond.
Several people told me about an incident that happened,They said: There was a worker—not a worker on clay, but a worker driving camels, donkeys, and cattle—when the sun was setting, one of the brothers passed by him, and it is known that the worker would be tired from the bad smell, and from driving the camels or donkeys, and the worker had a stick in his hand with which he was driving these animals, so this worker was very tired at the end of the day, and he was singing, and it is known that singing energizes a person, and also energizes the animals, even the camels in the hada' chant, what Allah willed, they would bray, so when this man who had strong jealousy passed by him, he spoke to the worker,And he said to him: "O you who has what is in you," and he cursed him with what I do not like to mention now,And he said: The voice of the Rahman with the voice of the Shaytan?! What is the voice of the Rahman? The adhan, with the voice of this worker.
So the worker was about to explode,So he said: Either you leave me alone, or I will break your head with this stick.
And the man refused to leave.
So the worker was stubborn and said: Go and pray, and you have no business with me.
So this man, who is considered one of the people of good, went to the Shaykh—and the Shaykh was named to me; but there is no need for the name—So he said to the Shaykh: I passed by such and such a place,And I found the worker and I advised him and he said to me: Such and such.
So the Shaykh said: Leave him, and I, if Allah wills, will look into his matter.
So the Shaykh went to him the next day when the sun was setting, and found him singing, relaxing a little, and chanting to the animals, so the Shaykh leaned his stick, and placed his shawl on it, and it is known that people used to do this in the past, and the Shaykh came and greeted him with a normal and calm greeting,And he said: Peace be upon you.
So the worker replied: And upon you be peace.
So the Shaykh said: O Allah, strengthen! The Shaykh did not mean strengthen in singing, but strengthen in prayer.
So when the Shaykh said this, the worker's chest opened up, so the Shaykh left and performed wudu', and came to the worker,So he said: Are you not going with us to pray? The mu'adhdhin has called the adhan, and he will now call the iqamah.
He said: What did you say?He said: I said this.
He said: May Allah reward you with good, and by Allah, a person passed by me yesterday and started cursing, and said, and did, and left,So I said to him: O Shaykh, may Allah prolong your life, and by Allah, if you do not leave this place, I will break your head with this stick.
He said: O son of the noble! [Al-Furqan: 63] .
So the Shaykh went to pray, and the worker left his work and performed wudu' and caught up with the Shaykh, so the Shaykh turned around after the taslim, and found the worker completing a rak'ah and he had not said anything to him.
And on the second night, the Shaykh did not go to him; but he found that this worker had not missed any of the prayer.
Subhan Allah! Why? Because he came to him with gentleness and softness.
And this is very important in the aspect of da'wah, not to be harsh,Allah said to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): [Al-Imran: 159] Subhan Allah! Allah Mighty and Majestic says this to the best of creation.
We ask Allah to make us and you successful in wisdom: [Al-Baqarah: 269] .
This, may Allah bless you, is called: Compromising, so compromising with people of open sinfulness in the hope that Allah will guide them, there is nothing wrong with that.
As for compromising by saying: I let my beard grow, and you shave your beard, and each is on his own path, this is not permissible,Meaning: It is as if you are saying: Do not tell me, and I will not tell you, this is a compromising that is not permissible.
As for accommodating, it means: That you are being nice to him in the hope that Allah will guide him; because some people, if you treat them harshly for the sake of a sin, they persist in it, and if you treat them gently, they may respond.
Several people told me about an incident that happened,They said: There was a worker—not a worker on clay, but a worker driving camels, donkeys, and cattle—when the sun was setting, one of the brothers passed by him, and it is known that the worker would be tired from the bad smell, and from driving the camels or donkeys, and the worker had a stick in his hand with which he was driving these animals, so this worker was very tired at the end of the day, and he was singing, and it is known that singing energizes a person, and also energizes the animals, even the camels in the hada' chant, what Allah willed, they would bray, so when this man who had strong jealousy passed by him, he spoke to the worker,And he said to him: "O you who has what is in you," and he cursed him with what I do not like to mention now,And he said: The voice of the Rahman with the voice of the Shaytan?! What is the voice of the Rahman? The adhan, with the voice of this worker.
So the worker was about to explode,So he said: Either you leave me alone, or I will break your head with this stick.
And the man refused to leave.
So the worker was stubborn and said: Go and pray, and you have no business with me.
So this man, who is considered one of the people of good, went to the Shaykh—and the Shaykh was named to me; but there is no need for the name—So he said to the Shaykh: I passed by such and such a place,And I found the worker and I advised him and he said to me: Such and such.
So the Shaykh said: Leave him, and I, if Allah wills, will look into his matter.
So the Shaykh went to him the next day when the sun was setting, and found him singing, relaxing a little, and chanting to the animals, so the Shaykh leaned his stick, and placed his shawl on it, and it is known that people used to do this in the past, and the Shaykh came and greeted him with a normal and calm greeting,And he said: Peace be upon you.
So the worker replied: And upon you be peace.
So the Shaykh said: O Allah, strengthen! The Shaykh did not mean strengthen in singing, but strengthen in prayer.
So when the Shaykh said this, the worker's chest opened up, so the Shaykh left and performed wudu', and came to the worker,So he said: Are you not going with us to pray? The mu'adhdhin has called the adhan, and he will now call the iqamah.
He said: What did you say?He said: I said this.
He said: May Allah reward you with good, and by Allah, a person passed by me yesterday and started cursing, and said, and did, and left,So I said to him: O Shaykh, may Allah prolong your life, and by Allah, if you do not leave this place, I will break your head with this stick.
He said: O son of the noble!
and when the ignorant address them [harshly], they say [words of] peace,
وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمْ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلاماًSo the Shaykh went to pray, and the worker left his work and performed wudu' and caught up with the Shaykh, so the Shaykh turned around after the taslim, and found the worker completing a rak'ah and he had not said anything to him.
And on the second night, the Shaykh did not go to him; but he found that this worker had not missed any of the prayer.
Subhan Allah! Why? Because he came to him with gentleness and softness.
And this is very important in the aspect of da'wah, not to be harsh,Allah said to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter
فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِنْ اللَّهِ لِنْتَ لَهُمْ وَلَوْ كُنْتَ فَظّاً غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لانْفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ فَاعْفُ عَنْهُمْ وَاسْتَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِي الأَمْرِWe ask Allah to make us and you successful in wisdom: