Exegesis of the saying of Allah the Exalted: (And do not backbite one another)
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Exegesis of His saying, the Exalted: (And do not backbite one another)
Allah the Exalted said: [Al-Hujurat: 12] The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) defined backbiting by saying: (To mention your brother in a way he dislikes) This is an explanation from the Messenger (may Allah pray upon him and grant him peace), and he is the most knowledgeable of people regarding what Allah (Blessed and Exalted is He) intends in His speech: (To mention your brother in a way he dislikes) Whether that is in his physical appearance, his character, his circumstances, his intellect, his intelligence, or otherwise; the important thing is that you mention him in a way he dislikes.In his physical appearance, such as saying: Such as saying: So-and-so is ugly-looking, hideous, and has such-and-such defects in his body.
Or in his character,Such as saying: such as saying: So-and-so is a fool, quick-tempered, ill-mannered, and the like.
Or in his inner character, such as saying: Such as saying: So-and-so is dull, so-and-so does not understand, so-and-so has a poor memory, and the like. And the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) defined it with a clear and distinct definition: (To mention your brother in a way he dislikes,They said: O Messenger of Allah! What do you say if he has what I am saying about him?He said: If he has what you are saying, then you have backbitten him; and if he does not have what you are saying, then you have slandered him) Meaning: You have combined slander and backbiting.
Accordingly, it is obligatory to refrain from mentioning people in a way they dislike, whether that is actually in them or not. Know that if you spread the defects of your brother, Allah will send someone to spread your defects (in recompense for what you did) Do not think that Allah is unaware of what the wrongdoers do; rather, He will send someone to treat him as he treats people.
But if the backbiting is for a benefit, there is no harm in it and no blame. For this reason, when Fatimah bint Qays came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) to consult him about men who had proposed to her, he pointed out the defects of those he saw had defects,Three men had proposed to her: namely Mu'awiyah ibn Abi Sufyan (may Allah be pleased with him), Abu Jahm ibn al-Harith, and Usamah ibn Zayd.So the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to her: (As for Mu'awiyah, he is a pauper with no wealth; and as for Abu Jahm, he is a man who beats women. Marry Usamah ibn Zayd) The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned a defect in these two men for the sake of advice and clarifying the truth, and this is not considered backbiting without a doubt. For this reason, if a person comes to consult you about dealing with a man, saying: So-and-so wants to deal with me in a sale, purchase, or lease, or you want to marry someone who has proposed for your daughter, or the like, and you know of a defect in him, it is obligatory for you to clarify that to him.And this is not considered, as the common people say: This is not cutting off a livelihood; rather, it is clarifying the truth. So if you know that this man, whom this person wants to deal with in a sale, is a procrastinator, a liar, and a swindler, say to him: My brother! Do not sell to him; he is a procrastinator, he is a swindler, he is a liar. He may claim that there is a defect in the goods when there is none, or he may claim to be short-changed when he is not, and the like. You will end up in conflict and dispute with him. A person comes to consult you about a man who has proposed for his daughter, and the man appears to be just, upright, and of good character, but you know of a defective trait in him; it is obligatory for you to clarify this.For example: You know that this man lies, you know that he smokes but denies it and does not reveal it to people.You must clarify and say: This man appears to be upright, well-mannered, and kind, but he has such-and-such a defect. Even if this is directed toward marrying him, point out the defect to him. Then he is at his option afterwards; because he will enter the marriage with full knowledge.
In any case: An exception to backbiting is: if it is in the way of advice. We mentioned the evidence for this from the Sunnah. Is there evidence from the practice of the scholars? Yes, there is evidence. Go back to the books of men (critique of narrators), for example,You find, for example, him saying: where they say: So-and-so ibn so-and-so has a poor memory, so-and-so ibn so-and-so is a liar, so-and-so ibn so-and-so has such-and-such. They mention what is disliked of his descriptions as advice to Allah and His Messenger. So if the purpose of mentioning your brother in a way he dislikes is advice, there is no harm.
Likewise, if the purpose of that is: Complaint and grievance, for that is permissible,For example: if a man wrongs you, and you come to a person who can remove this injustice and you say: So-and-so took my money, so-and-so denied my right, and the like, there is no harm. For Hind bint 'Utbah came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to complain about her husband Abu Sufyan,She says: saying: (He is a stingy man who does not give me what is sufficient for me and my child,So the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said to her: Take what is sufficient for you and your child in a proper manner) She mentioned a description that Abu Sufyan disliked, but it was a complaint and grievance.And Allah the Exalted said in His Book: [An-Nisa: 148] Meaning: So he is allowed to speak out with bad words to remove his injustice. But is this permissible if the person's intention is to lighten the burden of sadness and pain in his heart by recounting the situation that happened to a friend, where his friend cannot remove this injustice but can relieve him? Or is it not permissible? It appears that it is permissible,Due to the generality of His saying, the Exalted:[An-Nisa 4:148] And this happens often. Often a person is harmed and wronged by the denial of money or the taking of money, or the like,So a man comes to his friend and says: so a man comes to his friend and says: So-and-so said such-and-such, so-and-so said such-and-such, wanting to cool the pain and regret in his heart. Or he talks about it with his children, or with his family, or with his wife, or the like. This is permissible; because the wrongdoer has no sanctity regarding the wronged person.
Allah the Exalted said:
or backbite each other
وَلا يَغْتَبْ بَعْضُكُمْ بَعْضاًOr in his character,Such as saying: such as saying: So-and-so is a fool, quick-tempered, ill-mannered, and the like.
Or in his inner character, such as saying: Such as saying: So-and-so is dull, so-and-so does not understand, so-and-so has a poor memory, and the like. And the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) defined it with a clear and distinct definition: (To mention your brother in a way he dislikes,They said: O Messenger of Allah! What do you say if he has what I am saying about him?He said: If he has what you are saying, then you have backbitten him; and if he does not have what you are saying, then you have slandered him) Meaning: You have combined slander and backbiting.
Accordingly, it is obligatory to refrain from mentioning people in a way they dislike, whether that is actually in them or not. Know that if you spread the defects of your brother, Allah will send someone to spread your defects (in recompense for what you did) Do not think that Allah is unaware of what the wrongdoers do; rather, He will send someone to treat him as he treats people.
But if the backbiting is for a benefit, there is no harm in it and no blame. For this reason, when Fatimah bint Qays came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) to consult him about men who had proposed to her, he pointed out the defects of those he saw had defects,Three men had proposed to her: namely Mu'awiyah ibn Abi Sufyan (may Allah be pleased with him), Abu Jahm ibn al-Harith, and Usamah ibn Zayd.So the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to her: (As for Mu'awiyah, he is a pauper with no wealth; and as for Abu Jahm, he is a man who beats women. Marry Usamah ibn Zayd) The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned a defect in these two men for the sake of advice and clarifying the truth, and this is not considered backbiting without a doubt. For this reason, if a person comes to consult you about dealing with a man, saying: So-and-so wants to deal with me in a sale, purchase, or lease, or you want to marry someone who has proposed for your daughter, or the like, and you know of a defect in him, it is obligatory for you to clarify that to him.And this is not considered, as the common people say: This is not cutting off a livelihood; rather, it is clarifying the truth. So if you know that this man, whom this person wants to deal with in a sale, is a procrastinator, a liar, and a swindler, say to him: My brother! Do not sell to him; he is a procrastinator, he is a swindler, he is a liar. He may claim that there is a defect in the goods when there is none, or he may claim to be short-changed when he is not, and the like. You will end up in conflict and dispute with him. A person comes to consult you about a man who has proposed for his daughter, and the man appears to be just, upright, and of good character, but you know of a defective trait in him; it is obligatory for you to clarify this.For example: You know that this man lies, you know that he smokes but denies it and does not reveal it to people.You must clarify and say: This man appears to be upright, well-mannered, and kind, but he has such-and-such a defect. Even if this is directed toward marrying him, point out the defect to him. Then he is at his option afterwards; because he will enter the marriage with full knowledge.
In any case: An exception to backbiting is: if it is in the way of advice. We mentioned the evidence for this from the Sunnah. Is there evidence from the practice of the scholars? Yes, there is evidence. Go back to the books of men (critique of narrators), for example,You find, for example, him saying: where they say: So-and-so ibn so-and-so has a poor memory, so-and-so ibn so-and-so is a liar, so-and-so ibn so-and-so has such-and-such. They mention what is disliked of his descriptions as advice to Allah and His Messenger. So if the purpose of mentioning your brother in a way he dislikes is advice, there is no harm.
Likewise, if the purpose of that is: Complaint and grievance, for that is permissible,For example: if a man wrongs you, and you come to a person who can remove this injustice and you say: So-and-so took my money, so-and-so denied my right, and the like, there is no harm. For Hind bint 'Utbah came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to complain about her husband Abu Sufyan,She says: saying: (He is a stingy man who does not give me what is sufficient for me and my child,So the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said to her: Take what is sufficient for you and your child in a proper manner) She mentioned a description that Abu Sufyan disliked, but it was a complaint and grievance.And Allah the Exalted said in His Book: