What should a man do with his disobedient sons who do not pray and commit lewd acts? Should he keep them with him in his house or drive them out?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner : There is a man who has sons who do not pray and commit lewd acts. He tried to guide them for a long time. Recently, I told him, "I caught one of them drunk."
The Shaykh: Allah is the Greatest!
The questioner : He was coming to the house and was talking to his mother at that moment. I was going out for the Fajr prayer, and he was talking to his mother in an immoral manner.
The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar.
The questioner : I tried to speak to him kindly, and I was about to hit him, but he ran away. I spoke to his father and said, "I will drive him out." I said, "Before you drive him out, I will ask the Shaykh what your religious obligation is, what your duty is, so that you fulfill your religious obligation toward him."
The Shaykh : ... .
The questioner : Today... twenty-three, twenty-four, Ahmad... meaning twenty-three.
The Shaykh : His father is committed.
The questioner : Yes, he is one of the frequenters of the mosques, praying the five prayers in the mosque. And peace be upon you.
The Shaykh : And peace be upon you, and the mercy of Allah. Allah knows best that he was negligent in raising his sons, as they say, from the time their nails were soft. He did not apply to them what is the norm for most fathers with their sons. He did not apply to them the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):Sunan Abi Dawud 495Hasan Sahih (Al-Albani). So when fathers leave their sons like this, leaving them to do as they please, as they say, until they reach the age of accountability, and they do not straighten out on the path as Allah and His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded, it becomes very difficult at that point for the father to make up for what he missed in their upbringing in this state. And peace be upon you, welcome.
The student : May Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : May Allah preserve you.
The student : ... .
The Shaykh : It is said to him, in this state, and peace be upon you, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings. In the summer, you wasted the milk. But despite that, I see that driving him out is worse than keeping him.
The questioner : That is what I said.
The Shaykh : Ah, but he should not let him go free while he is living with him. Rather, he should follow up with him first by reminding him and admonishing him, and second, he should not provide him with money that would be a cause of his deviation and transgression, as he said... So what I see is that driving him out is not bravery, nor is it a method of upbringing.
The questioner : May Allah reward you with good, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Yes, how are you?
The student : ... Now, if Allah wills, Shaykh.
Another student: ... Hehe.
Another student: Where do you want to go... .
The student : Do not worry about... .
The Shaykh : Come closer, come closer... .
The Shaykh: Allah is the Greatest!
The questioner : He was coming to the house and was talking to his mother at that moment. I was going out for the Fajr prayer, and he was talking to his mother in an immoral manner.
The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar.
The questioner : I tried to speak to him kindly, and I was about to hit him, but he ran away. I spoke to his father and said, "I will drive him out." I said, "Before you drive him out, I will ask the Shaykh what your religious obligation is, what your duty is, so that you fulfill your religious obligation toward him."
The Shaykh : ... .
The questioner : Today... twenty-three, twenty-four, Ahmad... meaning twenty-three.
The Shaykh : His father is committed.
The questioner : Yes, he is one of the frequenters of the mosques, praying the five prayers in the mosque. And peace be upon you.
The Shaykh : And peace be upon you, and the mercy of Allah. Allah knows best that he was negligent in raising his sons, as they say, from the time their nails were soft. He did not apply to them what is the norm for most fathers with their sons. He did not apply to them the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
Command your children to pray when they become seven years old, and beat them for it (prayer) when they become ten years old; and arrange their beds (to sleep) separately.
مُرُوا أولادكم بالصلاة وهم أبناء سبع ، واضربوهم عليها وهم أبناء عشر ، وفرِّقوا بينهم في المضاجعThe student : May Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : May Allah preserve you.
The student : ... .
The Shaykh : It is said to him, in this state, and peace be upon you, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings. In the summer, you wasted the milk. But despite that, I see that driving him out is worse than keeping him.
The questioner : That is what I said.
The Shaykh : Ah, but he should not let him go free while he is living with him. Rather, he should follow up with him first by reminding him and admonishing him, and second, he should not provide him with money that would be a cause of his deviation and transgression, as he said... So what I see is that driving him out is not bravery, nor is it a method of upbringing.
The questioner : May Allah reward you with good, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Yes, how are you?
The student : ... Now, if Allah wills, Shaykh.
Another student: ... Hehe.
Another student: Where do you want to go... .
The student : Do not worry about... .
The Shaykh : Come closer, come closer... .
Source
www.al-albany.com
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.