If a young man proposes to a father and wants to marry his daughter, but this young man is not upright
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The questioner : In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
We thank our Shaykh for these words. Many questions have reached us, most of which relate to what the Shaykh spoke about regarding marriage. We forgot to mention that this monthly meeting is the twentieth completing meeting, and it is the second meeting of this year, 1415.
He says:The questioner : Your Eminence, may Allah preserve you. If a young man proposes to a father and wants to marry his daughter, but this young man has apparent and hidden sins, and indeed his prayer is little, and this father is perhaps shy of this young man's father because he is his brother, what is the position of the brothers? Because they have knowledge of the reality and care for the benefit of their sister, and therefore they do not desire this young man to marry their sister. And perhaps the sister agrees to him. Do these brothers have the right to stand in the front and reject this suitor? And perhaps a dispute will arise between them and their father and their uncles. Please clarify the appropriate solution, may you be rewarded.
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds. The summary of this question is that a man proposed to a girl and is not her equal in the religious aspect, but he is a relative of hers. And it appears that the father agrees and the girl will agree. Do the righteous brothers have the right to object to that?
The answer is: We must know that it is not a condition of the marriage contract that the husband be upright; rather, it is valid to marry a woman to a man who is an open sinner. But it is a condition of the marriage contract that the husband be a Muslim. So if this suitor prays but has sins, then if he is married, the marriage is valid. But we do not advise the father or the girl to marry a young man with the description mentioned in the question, because she will be exhausted with him in calling him to the truth, and she will be exhausted with him in her own doing of the truth. Because if he is deficient in religion and she is a committed woman, he may prevent her from many things in her religion. He may prevent her from fasting, voluntary fasting, and he may prevent her from voluntary prayer, and he may prevent her from reading the Qur'an, and he may prevent her from acquiring beneficial books, and he may prevent her from listening to beneficial tapes. Therefore, we advise the father and the girl not to marry such a person. And the committed brothers can convince the proposed girl to refrain, and if she refrains, it is not permissible for her father to marry her to his nephew under any circumstances. If he does so, he is sinful and the marriage is invalid. And I do not see a way for them to repel this suitor with her except this method: that they try to convince the girl to refuse marriage to this suitor.
If someone says: Will there not be severing of kinship in that, because perhaps the uncle, the nephew, and the father will become angry? We say: Yes, there may be severing of kinship in that, and there may not be. But marrying her to this suitor is a confirmed evil, and severing of kinship is confirmed or not confirmed? Not confirmed; they may be pleased with the reality.
If someone says: Is it possible to delay the marriage until a commitment is taken from this suitor to be committed, and his level of commitment is observed? We say: This is possible. It can be said: By Allah, O so-and-so, we do not want to repel your proposal for a personal purpose, but for a religious purpose So if we see that you have become upright and feared Allah the Exalted and Majestic, then we are ready to marry you. If he accepts, they wait, they give him the period that is sufficient for our conviction that he has become upright, then they marry him.
We thank our Shaykh for these words. Many questions have reached us, most of which relate to what the Shaykh spoke about regarding marriage. We forgot to mention that this monthly meeting is the twentieth completing meeting, and it is the second meeting of this year, 1415.
He says:The questioner : Your Eminence, may Allah preserve you. If a young man proposes to a father and wants to marry his daughter, but this young man has apparent and hidden sins, and indeed his prayer is little, and this father is perhaps shy of this young man's father because he is his brother, what is the position of the brothers? Because they have knowledge of the reality and care for the benefit of their sister, and therefore they do not desire this young man to marry their sister. And perhaps the sister agrees to him. Do these brothers have the right to stand in the front and reject this suitor? And perhaps a dispute will arise between them and their father and their uncles. Please clarify the appropriate solution, may you be rewarded.
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds. The summary of this question is that a man proposed to a girl and is not her equal in the religious aspect, but he is a relative of hers. And it appears that the father agrees and the girl will agree. Do the righteous brothers have the right to object to that?
The answer is: We must know that it is not a condition of the marriage contract that the husband be upright; rather, it is valid to marry a woman to a man who is an open sinner. But it is a condition of the marriage contract that the husband be a Muslim. So if this suitor prays but has sins, then if he is married, the marriage is valid. But we do not advise the father or the girl to marry a young man with the description mentioned in the question, because she will be exhausted with him in calling him to the truth, and she will be exhausted with him in her own doing of the truth. Because if he is deficient in religion and she is a committed woman, he may prevent her from many things in her religion. He may prevent her from fasting, voluntary fasting, and he may prevent her from voluntary prayer, and he may prevent her from reading the Qur'an, and he may prevent her from acquiring beneficial books, and he may prevent her from listening to beneficial tapes. Therefore, we advise the father and the girl not to marry such a person. And the committed brothers can convince the proposed girl to refrain, and if she refrains, it is not permissible for her father to marry her to his nephew under any circumstances. If he does so, he is sinful and the marriage is invalid. And I do not see a way for them to repel this suitor with her except this method: that they try to convince the girl to refuse marriage to this suitor.
If someone says: Will there not be severing of kinship in that, because perhaps the uncle, the nephew, and the father will become angry? We say: Yes, there may be severing of kinship in that, and there may not be. But marrying her to this suitor is a confirmed evil, and severing of kinship is confirmed or not confirmed? Not confirmed; they may be pleased with the reality.
If someone says: Is it possible to delay the marriage until a commitment is taken from this suitor to be committed, and his level of commitment is observed? We say: This is possible. It can be said: By Allah, O so-and-so, we do not want to repel your proposal for a personal purpose, but for a religious purpose