I am a young Jordanian living in Qatar, and I proposed to a Qatari girl, but she told me that she had been in a relationship with a young man and lost her virginity, and her family does not

The Shaykh: Yes.

The questioner : Peace be upon you, and Allah’s mercy and blessings.

The Shaykh : And upon you be peace, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings and His forgiveness.

The questioner : The Shaykh.

The Shaykh: Go ahead.

The questioner : I called you this morning from the state of Qatar. Hello.

The Shaykh : I remember that.

The questioner : I have a matter, and I want to know what the ruling of the Shari'ah is regarding this matter?

The Shaykh: Yes.

The questioner : My dear brother, I met a girl of Qatari origin here, and after a period of time, can you hear me?

The Shaykh : I am listening to you.

The questioner : Praise be to Allah, may Allah preserve this blessing for you.

The Shaykh : May Allah preserve you.

The questioner : After a relationship developed between me and her, and my family knows about all the events of this relationship, I bear witness to Allah that I am sincere in every word, not to you, but between me and Allah, that this relationship is pure and honorable between me and this girl. But after six months of our relationship, she used to tell me that nationality was the problem. But after six months, she told me, “I agree to the marriage, but I want to show you something important in my life.”

The Shaykh : What about the nationality? First, what about the nationality?

The questioner: Yes.

The Shaykh : What do you mean by different nationality?

The questioner: Yes.

The Shaykh : She is Qatari.

The questioner : And I am Jordanian.

The Shaykh: All right.

The questioner : And after six months of our relationship, she said that she had been in a relationship with a Qatari young man and went out with him, and she was crying and saying, “I am no longer a virgin now. Do you agree to marry me?” I said to her, and I was even more insistent. I am a young man who memorizes from the Qur'an what Allah knows, and I attend the mosque for Fajr and 'Isha' prayers, and this is between me and my Creator, praise be to Allah. So I was entirely eager and insistent to cover this girl in this world so that she returns to being righteous in society and plays her role like any Muslim woman without any obstacles. I would not leave her in this dark atmosphere of the misfortunes of this world. So I agreed and told her, “I guarantee you before Allah with marriage, but I want you to pledge to me before Allah that it will be a sincere repentance.” And in fact, I saw that through my actions and hers, that she had returned; she does not shake hands, does not talk [to men], wears the hijab, does not use makeup, and does not wear perfume. I and she persisted in this relationship for more than a year, and I forced her to memorize what is easy of the Qur'an and to have sincere repentance and seeking forgiveness. The other situation is that she presented this idea to her family for marriage, but her family said, “He is not Qatari. Go and bring us a Qatari young man who does not pray, is a prison graduate, and gets drunk, and we will agree to him, but we will not agree to this young man.” So I went to the honorable Dr. al-Qaradawi, and I was about to present this matter to the honorable scholars, whether in Jordan, Syria, Egypt, or Saudi Arabia, to seek the halal in this matter. Otherwise, I would not have been forced to call you in an international call with enough financial trouble. But I can tell you that it was possible, may Allah forbid, that Satan could have led me astray and I would have gone out with this girl and satisfied my desire from her through haram, after my being affected by her position which was exposed before me. But Allah bears witness, I pledge to Allah to be her cover in this world so that Allah’s cover will be over me in the Hereafter. And after I presented the situation to her family, they said no. And I asked the honorable Shaykh al-Qaradawi, and he told me, “If it is possible for you to go to a court and contract the marriage and take possession of each other, then this is permissible according to the Hanafi school, and there is no undutifulness to the parents in it.” Honorable Shaykh, I have explained to you the events of this story. First, what is the position of the Shari'ah if the contract is actually made and I contract with her in a court in Bahrain, for example, and none of her family is present, and her family is objecting, and you know, and they are surprised that I have taken possession of her? What is the position of the Shari'ah regarding this possession and this contract? Is it permissible according to the Shari'ah? In the position of the elder brother and father to us, what guidance do you want to direct to us socially, and what do you want to say in the scholarly ruling?

The Shaykh : First, my brother, I tell you, we ask Allah to keep you and her firm on the uprightness that Allah has commanded every Muslim.

The questioner : Praise be to Allah, if Allah wills, and to you as well.

The Shaykh : Second: The country where you are currently residing is Qatar.

The questioner: Yes.

The Shaykh : Okay, do you know?

The questioner : I would like to interrupt you for a moment, if you please, and say that the girl is studying in Bahrain and is currently residing there. It was possible for me to go to Bahrain and, through her studies, contract the marriage without anyone knowing. Please, you now.

The Shaykh : I wanted to simplify the matter. I am not saying by the words of al-Qaradawi that you quoted to me just now, when he told you: “Go to a court that rules by the Hanafi school, and it is permissible for you to contract with her.”

The questioner : It is permissible for the adult, sane, mature girl, knowing that the girl is 34 years old.

The Shaykh : Listen.

The questioner : Please, my honorable Shaykh.

The Shaykh : I beg you, I excused you or found an excuse for you in the first interruption, but now, just as I listened to you, listen to me.

The questioner : If Allah wills.

The Shaykh : So I tell you, if the court in Qatar rules by the ruling of the Shari'ah stated in the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): , and if the position of the girl’s father is as you mentioned, and the responsibility is on you for what you mentioned, and the fatwa, as they say, is according to the text, then if her father does not care whether his son-in-law is a wicked, sinful person or a righteous Muslim, then he is not fit to be the guardian (wali) of this girl who you mentioned repented and turned to Allah (Mighty and Majestic) and improved her actions and her path in her life. Therefore, if the court in Qatar, if you bring this problem to the judge there and mention to him, as you mentioned to me just now, that her father says such and such and does not want to marry off his daughter, and he does not implement the saying of his Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): , then if you present this problem to the Qatari judiciary, I think, and I do not know, because unfortunately, Shari'ah rulings differ from country to country, so I advise you to contact a Shari'ah judge there and narrate the story without revealing yourself and that you are the one with the story and the relationship, but rather you say, “If a case such and such and such is brought to you, what is the Shari'ah ruling with you?” If they tell you, “If it is established with us that the girl’s guardian says such and such, then we will contract the marriage,” then the problem is solved. And you are in Qatar, did you understand me up to here?

The questioner : Yes, yes.

The Shaykh : I will complete my answer. If the answer in the Qatar court is that they must hear the consent of the girl’s guardian, and they know that he does not submit to the Shari'ah ruling mentioned just now, “If you come to us with someone whose religion and character you are pleased with” , the end of the hadith, then at that time, you go to any other court. But I repeat the reminder, and I tell you, it is not that they rule for you by the Hanafi school, but rather the Sultan, meaning the judge, .

The questioner: Yes.

The Shaykh : With this, I conclude my answer to your problem, but there is something else. I do not know why Professor al-Qaradawi did not address it when he told you that if you contract with her in a court on the school of Abu Hanifa (may Allah have mercy on him), then there is no undutifulness. I say, there may not be undutifulness in fact, but my brother—may Allah bless you—I remind you of the old Arabic proverb: “He who does not look at the consequences, time does not keep him as a companion.” Do you imagine, my brother in Islam, that if you marry her and are blessed with a child from her, can you live with her without visiting her father, mother, and siblings, or without them visiting her? This is a very difficult matter, in my opinion. What is your opinion on this?

The questioner : I promised to say that as soon as I have the authority over this girl, I will ask her to live in Jordan, because I am a young man from a well-off family, praise be to Allah, and I can live in Jordan. The only thing keeping me in Qatar is the call to Allah. This girl, by Allah, is a witness to that. However, if I am unable to marry this girl, I will travel to Jordan and pledge to Allah that I will seek another door of jihad, a prescribed door of jihad in the path of Allah. I will visit you, if Allah wills, in Jordan and remind you of this young man who asked you, in the name of Allah, to speak the word of truth. I am in Qatar, and I will pick up my international phone and call you. I called al-Qaradawi and sent a message to Ibn Uthaymeen by express mail, but he has not replied yet. If he does not reply to the message, because I tried hard and could not reach him by phone, I will travel in the middle of the first term to perform 'Umrah in Makkah and visit my father, who was buried in Makkah and died there during 'Umrah, praise be to Allah. I will visit him, and I will visit Ibn Baz and Ibn Uthaymeen and tell them the whole story, and I will tell you. I will not forget this story as long as my eyes see the sun, because, by Allah, I find that not meeting this girl will be easy for her heart to return to what it was, out of resentment toward her family: why did they not marry her to the one she accepted in the religion of Allah? But what I am asking is: if I actually go to Bahrain and take authority over this girl, contract with her, and we travel to Jordan, and we inform her family that it is a valid, permissible Shari'ah contract, and we cannot say to them, "Your daughter is in this state," because they may find it a disgrace, and her aunt knows the truth but cannot tell her family and relatives. But is this contract and this marriage valid if I take authority over her in Bahrain and we travel immediately after she finishes her studies to Jordan, because my house is there, my dowry is there, and everything is there, praise be to Allah, and to Allah belongs the favor and the grace? Is this marriage valid? And if it is valid, I will do my part from my position in Jordan through the embassy officials, through the noble people, through the shaykhs, and through the honorable scholars, to try to bring the picture to the minds of this girl's guardians and her family, that the young man did this seeking the pleasure of Allah and out of fear for your daughter, and that her aunt knows what is in her, and she is now his wife under his responsibility, and he has accepted her as she is, and she is now his wife, and he wants to start a life with her, and to Allah belongs the grace and praise, and if Allah wills, this will be through your hand. Will this marriage be valid, O honorable shaykh?

The Shaykh : May Allah bless you. I have already answered you and coupled the answer with a question I directed to you, but do not hold it against me. It seems you are an emotional man, because you repeat your words and do not answer the question. I told you just now, and I remind you of my saying that there is an old Arab wisdom: "He who does not look at the consequences, the age does not own him." So I asked you: if you contract with her in the Shari'ah manner I mentioned to you, is that my answer? Your question is: is the contract Shari'ah or not? If you carry out what I told you, it will be a Shari'ah contract. But I added and said: do you not think about the outcome? How will you live with this girl without visiting her family and without them visiting her? You deviated from the answer, of course, you deviated unintentionally, because I imagine your situation is that you are afflicted, may Allah heal your chest and fulfill your wish in accordance with the Shari'ah, if Allah wills. But I repeat to your ears: how do you imagine living with this girl while her family is angry with her? How?

The questioner : O honorable shaykh, I, O honorable shaykh, have informed you that I am able to live with you as my position is. Personally, I am able for you to be my wife in my house, even if your family does not accept.

The Shaykh : My brother, may Allah bless you. At this time of every night, I do not deliver lectures; rather, I answer questions that come to me from various countries. I prolonged my speech with you because you are eager, and I wanted to.

The questioner : To Allah, O honorable shaykh.

The Shaykh : Because you are eager, I said, do not cut off my speech, because you are eager, and relieving the distress of the distressed is desirable in the Shari'ah. Therefore, I prolonged my speech and listening to your words. So I say to you: how do you imagine living with this girl? She returns and says, "I told her so and so, what do I have to do with what I told her?" Tell me how you imagine living with her if her father, her family, her brothers, and I do not know how many they are, are angry about this marriage. How do you imagine living with her? Do not tell me, "I told her so and so." Do you want, if you come here to Jordan, for her father and mother to die and not see her, or for them all to die and she not see them and not visit them? This is a problem, my brother. I hope you think about it. As for the contract, if you contract with a Shari'ah judge on the basis that the guardian is a fasiq (open sinner) who does not allow this girl, who has repented to Allah, to marry a Muslim young man, then you, O judge, contract based on the saying of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him): If you do this, your marriage will be valid, not according to the Hanafi school. The Hanafi school contradicts the hadith So the guardian here is not satisfied, so we found for you a Shari'ah exit: the ruler is the guardian of one who has no guardian, in the Shari'ah. Perhaps you understood me?

The questioner : Yes, yes.

The Shaykh : So, so, listen, my brother. So, in short, if you contract with her in this manner, your contract is valid. But I advise you to think that your life with her, away from her family and relatives, will cause you family problems.

The questioner : We ask Allah to grant us patience in resolving it, and if Allah wills, there will be exits... in resolving it.

The Shaykh : If Allah wills.

The questioner : The Shaykh :

The Shaykh: Yes.

The questioner : Hello.

The Shaykh: Yes.

The questioner : Now you say that if you contract with her in a court and you want the court to be in Qatar here, but the court here in Qatar, the law, the law, we are in religion and in law, and you know and you know that the law does not allow the state from the inside to marry a Qatari woman to a non-Qatari. Will this be an exit to allow me to take authority over this girl in Bahrain?

The Shaykh : With the condition I mentioned to you just now.

The questioner : Yes, yes, I understood you.

The Shaykh : Did you understand the condition?

The questioner : Yes, that the judge has taken the position that her guardian is a fasiq (open sinner).

The Shaykh : Yes, and that he acts as a deputy for her fasiq (open sinner) guardian.

The questioner : Yes. And that it does not cause harm to her parents?

The Shaykh : That it does not cause harm to her parents.

The questioner : If Allah wills, may Allah bless you.

The Shaykh : And may He reward you.

The questioner : I hope to apologize to you if I prolonged my speech with you.