What is the validity of the marriage of an elderly man to a young girl who was forced to marry him in exchange for a very high mahr?
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The questioner : He says:The questioner : There is a man who is approximately sixty-six years old, and he is an elderly man, but he married a young, young woman. Her mahr was obtained by her family forcing her to marry this elderly man, and they forced the man to pay the mahr in the amount of two hundred thousand riyals. What is the validity of this marriage?
The Shaykh : Did the girl consent? If she consented, then the matter is up to her, because some women may consent to marry an elderly man seeking reward, wanting to be kind to him, serve him, and treat him well. And this has happened in a greater form: a woman, indeed a young woman, whom I know married a paralyzed man, and she was a young woman. When she was asked about it, she said: "I seek reward from Allah in serving this paralyzed man." So perhaps a woman chooses an elderly man in order to serve him seeking the Face of Allah (Mighty and Majestic). The important point is that it is not a condition of the marriage contract that there be an age compatibility between the two spouses. Rather, there is no harm in a young man marrying an elderly woman, or an elderly man marrying a young woman. Did you not know that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) married Khadijah when she was forty years old, and he was twenty-five years old, meaning there was a fifteen-year difference between them; she was older than him, and he married her. And he married A'ishah; how old was he? Perhaps fifty-four, because he married her in Makkah when she was six or seven years old, and he consummated the marriage with her in al-Madinah when she was nine years old, and he died when she was approximately eighteen years old, and he was sixty-three years old. So there was a difference between them. The conclusion is that it is not a condition of the marriage contract that the ages of the two spouses be close. Rather, it is permissible for an elderly man to marry a young woman and for a young man to marry an elderly woman. So if the girl is pleased to marry this elderly man, she has that right, and the marriage is valid.
But I am truly distressed that they are imposing on this elderly man a mahr that reaches this limit, which is two hundred thousand, two hundred and two. Why? Do they want to compensate for his age deficiency with an increase in money? He is deficient in age because he is, well, broken down and has reached this age, so they want to compensate for this with money. I see that this is a mistake. If they had married him with a reasonable mahr like others, it would have been better for the soul and clearer that this girl wanted thereby the Face of Allah. Yes.
The questioner : There is a follow-up to the question, saying: Even though the woman is coerced and she is a virgin.
The Shaykh : If the woman is coerced, then if it is assumed that she is twenty years old and is coerced into a man who is twenty-one years old, the marriage is invalid, not valid, defective. How much more so if she is young and this man is over sixty years old? Then the marriage is even more clearly defective. So any woman who is forced into marriage, her marriage is defective, whether her brother, her uncle, her father, or her grandfather forced her. No one has the right to force a daughter to marry someone she does not approve of.
Just as it is not permissible for the wali to refuse to marry off a girl who has been proposed to by a suitable suitor and she desires him, and then he says, "I will not marry her off." If he does so, we bypass him to the next wali after him. If another wali is not available, we move to a third wali. If all the awliya refuse and say, "We cannot marry off so-and-so's daughter while he exists," the guardianship transfers to the judge. So the woman raises her complaint to the judge, and the judge must marry her off if the suitor is suitable, whether her father consents or not.
The Shaykh : Did the girl consent? If she consented, then the matter is up to her, because some women may consent to marry an elderly man seeking reward, wanting to be kind to him, serve him, and treat him well. And this has happened in a greater form: a woman, indeed a young woman, whom I know married a paralyzed man, and she was a young woman. When she was asked about it, she said: "I seek reward from Allah in serving this paralyzed man." So perhaps a woman chooses an elderly man in order to serve him seeking the Face of Allah (Mighty and Majestic). The important point is that it is not a condition of the marriage contract that there be an age compatibility between the two spouses. Rather, there is no harm in a young man marrying an elderly woman, or an elderly man marrying a young woman. Did you not know that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) married Khadijah when she was forty years old, and he was twenty-five years old, meaning there was a fifteen-year difference between them; she was older than him, and he married her. And he married A'ishah; how old was he? Perhaps fifty-four, because he married her in Makkah when she was six or seven years old, and he consummated the marriage with her in al-Madinah when she was nine years old, and he died when she was approximately eighteen years old, and he was sixty-three years old. So there was a difference between them. The conclusion is that it is not a condition of the marriage contract that the ages of the two spouses be close. Rather, it is permissible for an elderly man to marry a young woman and for a young man to marry an elderly woman. So if the girl is pleased to marry this elderly man, she has that right, and the marriage is valid.
But I am truly distressed that they are imposing on this elderly man a mahr that reaches this limit, which is two hundred thousand, two hundred and two. Why? Do they want to compensate for his age deficiency with an increase in money? He is deficient in age because he is, well, broken down and has reached this age, so they want to compensate for this with money. I see that this is a mistake. If they had married him with a reasonable mahr like others, it would have been better for the soul and clearer that this girl wanted thereby the Face of Allah. Yes.
The questioner : There is a follow-up to the question, saying: Even though the woman is coerced and she is a virgin.
The Shaykh : If the woman is coerced, then if it is assumed that she is twenty years old and is coerced into a man who is twenty-one years old, the marriage is invalid, not valid, defective. How much more so if she is young and this man is over sixty years old? Then the marriage is even more clearly defective. So any woman who is forced into marriage, her marriage is defective, whether her brother, her uncle, her father, or her grandfather forced her. No one has the right to force a daughter to marry someone she does not approve of.
Just as it is not permissible for the wali to refuse to marry off a girl who has been proposed to by a suitable suitor and she desires him, and then he says, "I will not marry her off." If he does so, we bypass him to the next wali after him. If another wali is not available, we move to a third wali. If all the awliya refuse and say, "We cannot marry off so-and-so's daughter while he exists," the guardianship transfers to the judge. So the woman raises her complaint to the judge, and the judge must marry her off if the suitor is suitable, whether her father consents or not.