A young man wants to marry, but his family is preventing him on the grounds of his young age, even though he is able to afford the costs of marriage. He has two older brothers, and they have a custom that the younger brother does not marry until the older one does.
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The questioner : May Allah reward the honorableThe Shaykh : I am a young man, twenty-one years old, and I want to get married, but my family is preventing me. They say I am too young, and I am able to afford the costs of marriage. They are preventing me before two of my brothers, saying that my brothers must marry before you, and then you can marry after them. But they do not want to, and my two brothers do not want to get married. So what should I do? Should I obey my parents, or what should I do?
The Shaykh : I say to the brother who is asking: you are not young. A person who is twenty-one years old is not young for marriage. 'Amr ibn al-'As got married when he was eleven years old, eleven years old, and a son was born to him. That is why it is said that there are only thirteen years between him and his son 'Abdullah, between the father and his son. So I say to the brother: rely on Allah and get married, for you are not young. As for your two older brothers, when Allah makes it easy for them to marry, they will marry. This is a grave error on the part of some people: not marrying off a young girl when there is an older one. This is forbidden for you. If a suitable match in religion and character proposes to her, let them marry her. Perhaps she is the barrier between the older sister and marriage. Often, when the younger one is married, Allah opens the door for the older one. This is something that has been tried and tested. A daughter can be a barrier for another daughter, just as offspring can be a barrier for offspring. That is, more than one story has come to us of a man who marries and remains for fifteen or sixteen years with his wife without a child being born to him. Then he marries another, and the second one becomes pregnant on her first night, and the first one becomes pregnant in the same days, even though she had been with her husband for years without becoming pregnant. This daughter may open the door for her older sisters. Likewise, the son may open the door for his two older brothers in this question. And I say to the brother who is asking: get married and seek help from Allah. And if you are a student, as appears to be the case from your situation, then in the spring vacation, if Allah wills, before the summer vacation, Allah will make it easy for you to find someone you are pleased with in her religion and character. And that is not disobedience to the parents, nor is it severing the tie of kinship with the two brothers. Absolutely not. Yes.
The Shaykh : I say to the brother who is asking: you are not young. A person who is twenty-one years old is not young for marriage. 'Amr ibn al-'As got married when he was eleven years old, eleven years old, and a son was born to him. That is why it is said that there are only thirteen years between him and his son 'Abdullah, between the father and his son. So I say to the brother: rely on Allah and get married, for you are not young. As for your two older brothers, when Allah makes it easy for them to marry, they will marry. This is a grave error on the part of some people: not marrying off a young girl when there is an older one. This is forbidden for you. If a suitable match in religion and character proposes to her, let them marry her. Perhaps she is the barrier between the older sister and marriage. Often, when the younger one is married, Allah opens the door for the older one. This is something that has been tried and tested. A daughter can be a barrier for another daughter, just as offspring can be a barrier for offspring. That is, more than one story has come to us of a man who marries and remains for fifteen or sixteen years with his wife without a child being born to him. Then he marries another, and the second one becomes pregnant on her first night, and the first one becomes pregnant in the same days, even though she had been with her husband for years without becoming pregnant. This daughter may open the door for her older sisters. Likewise, the son may open the door for his two older brothers in this question. And I say to the brother who is asking: get married and seek help from Allah. And if you are a student, as appears to be the case from your situation, then in the spring vacation, if Allah wills, before the summer vacation, Allah will make it easy for you to find someone you are pleased with in her religion and character. And that is not disobedience to the parents, nor is it severing the tie of kinship with the two brothers. Absolutely not. Yes.