Is there a standard for a man serving his wife in the house?

The questioner : He says: Your Excellency, is there a standard for a man serving his wife in the house? And what is the meaning of the fact that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was in the service of his family, and that he said: Some men may sweep, some may cook, and some may arrange the furniture, saying: We are following the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), and that he (peace and blessings be upon him) was in the service of his family, washing their dishes, and sweeping their house. Some men say: I do not eat with my wife, and some say: I do not sleep with her except during the time of intercourse only. So I ask you, your Excellency, to clarify this issue because of the many men who fall into excess or negligence in it, and what is the guidance that you see?

The Shaykh : Yes. I say: Allah the Exalted mentioned a fair balance, and He said: And He said: But Allah the Exalted cut off their hopes of being equal to men, when He said: Perhaps a woman becomes arrogant and says, "That's it: I am the same as the man: So Allah the Exalted cut that off and said: There is no equality between the man and the woman except in what wisdom requires them to be equal in. So I say: This returns to custom. If custom dictates that the wife is the one who serves her husband in sweeping, cooking, washing, and tending the garden, then there is no harm. The wife of al-Zubayr ibn al-Awwam used to carry date pits from Madinah to his orchard outside the city, and she was his wife. And the people in our time, which we witnessed, the woman was the one who would spread out the house, sweep it, wash the dishes, milk the cow, cook, and do everything, and the man had to provide the financial maintenance. And this is the original principle, this is the original principle. But there is no harm in the man helping his wife to reconcile her and be close to her, and this has a great benefit. As for what the questioner depicted, that Aisha, the Mother of the Believers, was sleeping and the Messenger (may Allah's prayer and peace be upon him) was the one cooking and blowing on the fire, that is a lie and not true. The Messenger (may Allah's prayer and peace be upon him) would come and find his food prepared, and he would come and say: Do you have any food? And once he came and the pot was on the fire boiling with meat, and he asked about it. But there is no doubt that he helped his family, and there is no doubt that he would patch his sandal and mend his garment, may Allah's prayer and peace be upon him. But as for depicting the issue as this questioner depicted it, then either he is ignorant, or the matter was hidden from him, I do not know. In any case, the Islamic religion said: Allah the Exalted said: And He said: So the person follows custom. Perhaps the custom in the recent present differs from what it was previously, meaning: the woman had more of the burden of the house in the past, which we witnessed, than she does today. Today the woman has started to ask for a servant, and she has started to say to the husband when she and he go out to the market, she says: You carry the child and I follow you. Sometimes she says: Carry the child and you are behind me. Yes, this exists. But is this following the Messenger and his Companions? No, but it is following the Western nations. Therefore, we must hold onto our customs unless a better custom comes to us from the Shari'ah perspective. I am not saying: hold onto the custom whether it is good or bad. I am saying: hold onto the custom unless you see something better than it, either in your religion or your worldly life, then there is no harm. Yes.