I am a young man who has proposed to a woman and we have agreed on everything
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The questioner : The honorable Shaykh says: I am a young man who has proposed to a woman and we have agreed on everything. When it came to the marriage contract, I was surprised by a shock: the woman's family imposed many conditions on me of which I had no prior knowledge. What should I do? I ask for guidance and advice in this matter.
The Shaykh : He asks: Has the contract been concluded?
The questioner : No, he did not mention the contract, O Shaykh. He said: when it came to the marriage contract...
The Shaykh : By Allah, he is now asking: What is the advice? If the marriage contract has been concluded with these conditions that the woman's family imposed, we look at them. If they are valid conditions, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan Abi Dawud 2139Sahih (Al-Albani). If they are invalid conditions, such as if they say: We will marry you to you on the condition that you divorce your current wife, this is an invalid condition. It is not permissible to fulfill it. He is not obligated to fulfill it. The guardians, the new wife, and her guardian do not have the right to annul the marriage if he does not divorce the woman. This is because it is an invalid condition. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Sahih al-Bukhari 2140. This condition is invalid. Among the conditions are also: that they impose on the husband that he must use the shower, and that he must not prevent her from watching what she wants. This is also a defective condition. It is not permissible for the husband to fulfill it, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): Sunan Ibn Majah 2521Sahih (Darussalam). As for valid conditions, such as: that they impose on him that he remains in teaching or in study, or that they impose on him a residence other than the residence of his family and brothers, or that they impose on him that he does not take her out of her home, or that they impose on him that he does not travel with her, or that they impose on him that he does not marry another woman over her. These conditions and their like are valid conditions. If he agrees, they are binding. But if he was imposed with a condition not to travel with her, and after marrying her, things went well between them, and he wanted to travel with her, and her family said: Do not travel with her, and she said: I want to travel with him, who has the right? Her or her family? Her, except in a specific case. If her parents are unable, meaning her mother and father are unable, and they imposed that she stay in the house to serve them, and the husband agreed to that. Here, is the condition valid or not? Valid, because they imposed a benefit for themselves, indeed a necessity, so the condition is valid.
And I say to this brotherThe questioner : If the contract has been concluded, the matter has passed, so let him look at these conditions. The defective ones are voided, and the valid ones remain. If they are heavy conditions, perhaps Allah the Exalted will make ease for him in his affair. But if he has not concluded the contract yet, the matter is in his hand; if he wishes, he agrees, and if he wishes, he disagrees. Yes.
The questioner : Is there any guidance, O Shaykh, for the guardians regarding the surprise with these conditions?
The Shaykh : It seems the asking brother disliked that they surprised him with the conditions at the contract. He has the right to dislike it, because now at the contract he is in a difficult position. He may have invited people to the contract and informed them that it is on such a night or such a day. So when the conditions came, he was in a difficult position. Therefore, we say: If the woman or her guardians have any conditions, let them be at the proposal and the response. So they say when they respond to him: Yes. Welcome. We will marry you. But here is the list of conditions that we have
Either he agrees or he leaves. And if it is at the contract, there is no doubt that it is an embarrassment and a deception by the woman and her family.
Yes, perhaps the woman's family or the woman says: We did not know. We did not know about the man fully except at the contract. And we wanted to impose conditions on him to prevent him from what we heard about him. For example: if the man travels a lot to countries where there is prostitution and immorality, they impose on him that he does not travel to these countries. And they say: We did not know at first. We knew later and we wanted to make up for it. So they may be excused. Yes.
The Shaykh : He asks: Has the contract been concluded?
The questioner : No, he did not mention the contract, O Shaykh. He said: when it came to the marriage contract...
The Shaykh : By Allah, he is now asking: What is the advice? If the marriage contract has been concluded with these conditions that the woman's family imposed, we look at them. If they are valid conditions, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
The condition worthier to be fulfilled by you is the one by which you made the private parts (of your wife) lawful (for you).
إن أحق الشروط أن توفوا به ما استحللتم به الفروجand a woman should not try to cause some other woman to be divorced in order to take her place
ولا تسأل المرأة طلاق أختها لتكفأ ما في إنائها أو قال : ما في صحفتهاEvery conditions that is not in the Book of Allah (SWT) is invalid, even if there are one hundred conditions
كل شرط ليس في كتاب الله فهو باطل وإن شرط مائة مرةAnd I say to this brotherThe questioner : If the contract has been concluded, the matter has passed, so let him look at these conditions. The defective ones are voided, and the valid ones remain. If they are heavy conditions, perhaps Allah the Exalted will make ease for him in his affair. But if he has not concluded the contract yet, the matter is in his hand; if he wishes, he agrees, and if he wishes, he disagrees. Yes.
The questioner : Is there any guidance, O Shaykh, for the guardians regarding the surprise with these conditions?
The Shaykh : It seems the asking brother disliked that they surprised him with the conditions at the contract. He has the right to dislike it, because now at the contract he is in a difficult position. He may have invited people to the contract and informed them that it is on such a night or such a day. So when the conditions came, he was in a difficult position. Therefore, we say: If the woman or her guardians have any conditions, let them be at the proposal and the response. So they say when they respond to him: Yes. Welcome. We will marry you. But here is the list of conditions that we have
Either he agrees or he leaves. And if it is at the contract, there is no doubt that it is an embarrassment and a deception by the woman and her family.
Yes, perhaps the woman's family or the woman says: We did not know. We did not know about the man fully except at the contract. And we wanted to impose conditions on him to prevent him from what we heard about him. For example: if the man travels a lot to countries where there is prostitution and immorality, they impose on him that he does not travel to these countries. And they say: We did not know at first. We knew later and we wanted to make up for it. So they may be excused. Yes.