Conditions of the Marriage Contract
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Moreover, marriage is a great and serious contract with conditions at its beginning and conditions at its end, and it entails great matters. Among what it entails is the bond between people; when a man marries a woman from a certain group, he becomes as if he were their relative. For this reason, Allah made affinity a counterpart to kinship and lineage, and He said: [Al-Furqan: 54] Therefore, you see a man who does not know these people except by name, and he marries one of them, becoming as if he were one of them. Indeed, inheritance passes between him and his wife, and the prohibitions of marriage pass between him and her relatives as is well known. Thus, it is a serious and important contract.And among what should be discussed in the topic of marriage: First: There must be conditions in marriage.Among the most important of them: Consent is required. A man cannot be forced to marry a specific woman, nor can a woman be forced to marry a specific man. Consent is mandatory. This reveals the ignorance of some common people who force their young men to marry their female relatives.For example, the man says to his son: They say, "You must marry your cousin's daughter," and they force him to do so, either by physical force or by moral pressure, such that he would be ashamed if he defied them. This is forbidden for him. It is forbidden for a father to force his son to marry his cousin's daughter or any other woman, because these are matters that pertain to the individual himself.
The son is not obligated to obey his father in this matter.Meaning: If the father says, "Marry your cousin's daughter,"And the son said: and the son says, "I do not want her," then it is not permissible for the father to force him, and the son is not obligated to obey him.If the son says: If I do not obey him, he will be angry with me, boycott me, and cut off ties with me. What should I do?We say: If the father does this, the sin is upon him, and you owe nothing. In fact, he is the aggressor and the transgressor, and you must continue to be dutiful to him even if he is harsh with you or boycotts you.
Similarly, some people force their daughter to marry a specific person. This is also not permissible. It is not permissible to force her, and if he does force her, the marriage is invalid.Because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: (Do not marry a virgin until her permission is sought, and do not marry a widow until her consent is obtained) Indeed, the text specifies the virgin and the father.He said, may the prayers and peace of Allah be upon him: (The father seeks the consent of the virgin).
The custom of some people is to reserve their daughter for their nephew. They even receive proposals from men who are suitable in religion and character, but they say: "I want her for her cousin." This is forbidden, and it is not permissible for him to monopolize her for his nephew. Rather, if a man who is suitable in religion and character proposes to her and she consents to him, he must marry her to him and not prevent it.Because this is a trust, and Allah the Blessed and Exalted said: [Al-Ahzab: 72] If he forces her by force to marry his nephew or anyone else, the marriage is not valid, because it is a marriage in which the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) was disobeyed and opposed. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said: (Whoever does a deed that is not in accordance with our command, it is rejected) meaning: it is rejected and invalid. Therefore, the woman is not lawful to the husband to whom she was married while she was averse to him, and it is not permissible to maintain the marriage between them. However, if the daughter consents after the marriage has been completed, does her consent apply to the previous contract, and do we say: The marriage is now valid because she approved it? Or must the contract be renewed? The precaution is to renew the contract again. He should ask the husband to stay away from her, have two witnesses present, and contract the marriage anew with this precautionary new contract.
Second: The guardian (wali) is also important in the marriage contract. A woman does not marry herself, even if she is one of the most intelligent women. Even if she is a widow, she does not marry herself, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): (There is no marriage except with a guardian) This is a negation of validity.Meaning: No marriage is valid except with a guardian.And this is indicated by the saying of Allah the Blessed and Exalted: [Al-Baqarah: 232] This indicates that the guardian has an effect on the validity or invalidity of the marriage contract. Therefore, the marriage must be with a guardian.The guardian is: The guardian is one who takes charge of her affairs from among the male agnates (asabah). There is no place for maternal relatives in the marriage contract, nor for those who trace their lineage through a female.For example: The father is a guardian, the son is a guardian, the full brother is a guardian, the paternal half-brother is a guardian, the full paternal uncle is a guardian, the paternal half-uncle is a guardian, the full paternal cousin is a guardian, and the paternal half-cousin is a guardian. The important point is that they are from the male agnates. As for the maternal brother, he is not a guardian because he traces his lineage through a female. Accordingly, if there is a woman who has a maternal brother and a distant paternal cousin, the one who marries her is her distant paternal cousin.As for the maternal uncle, meaning: Does her father's maternal brother have guardianship? No, because he traces his lineage through a female. Some people make a mistake by thinking that the maternal grandfather is a guardian, or that the maternal uncle is a guardian, or that the maternal brother is a guardian, or the like. These people have no guardianship over marriage whatsoever.
So the guardian is therefore: It must be one of her male agnates, not one who traces his lineage through a female.
However, the guardian must fear Allah the Mighty and Majestic regarding the one over whom Allah has appointed him. If a suitable man proposes to her, he should marry her if she consents. If a man who is not suitable proposes to her, he should not marry her to him, even if she consents to this man who is not suitable in religion. It is not permissible for her guardian to marry her to him, because he is accountable for her. If a man who does not pray proposes to her, he should not marry her to him. If a man known for open sinfulness, drinking intoxicants, and using hashish proposes to her, he should not marry her to him.Even if she consents and says: Even if she says she wants this man, he should not marry her to him.If she says: If she says she does not want to marry anyone else, should he marry her to him? No, he should not marry her to him. Even if she dies without marrying, there is no sin upon him, because this is a trust, and he must choose one who is suitable in religion and character, because he is a trustee over this woman.
And it is He who has created from water a human being and made him [a relative by] lineage and marriage
وَهُوَ الَّذِي خَلَقَ مِنَ الْمَاءِ بَشَراً فَجَعَلَهُ نَسَباً وَصِهْراًThe son is not obligated to obey his father in this matter.Meaning: If the father says, "Marry your cousin's daughter,"And the son said: and the son says, "I do not want her," then it is not permissible for the father to force him, and the son is not obligated to obey him.If the son says: If I do not obey him, he will be angry with me, boycott me, and cut off ties with me. What should I do?We say: If the father does this, the sin is upon him, and you owe nothing. In fact, he is the aggressor and the transgressor, and you must continue to be dutiful to him even if he is harsh with you or boycotts you.
Similarly, some people force their daughter to marry a specific person. This is also not permissible. It is not permissible to force her, and if he does force her, the marriage is invalid.Because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: (Do not marry a virgin until her permission is sought, and do not marry a widow until her consent is obtained) Indeed, the text specifies the virgin and the father.He said, may the prayers and peace of Allah be upon him: (The father seeks the consent of the virgin).
The custom of some people is to reserve their daughter for their nephew. They even receive proposals from men who are suitable in religion and character, but they say: "I want her for her cousin." This is forbidden, and it is not permissible for him to monopolize her for his nephew. Rather, if a man who is suitable in religion and character proposes to her and she consents to him, he must marry her to him and not prevent it.Because this is a trust, and Allah the Blessed and Exalted said:
Indeed, we offered the Trust to the heavens and the earth and the mountains, and they declined to bear it and feared it; but man [undertook to] bear it. Indeed, he was unjust and ignorant.
إِنَّا عَرَضْنَا الْأَمَانَةَ عَلَى السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ وَالْجِبَالِ فَأَبَيْنَ أَنْ يَحْمِلْنَهَا وَأَشْفَقْنَ مِنْهَا وَحَمَلَهَا الْأِنْسَانُ إِنَّهُ كَانَ ظَلُوماً جَهُولاًSecond: The guardian (wali) is also important in the marriage contract. A woman does not marry herself, even if she is one of the most intelligent women. Even if she is a widow, she does not marry herself, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): (There is no marriage except with a guardian) This is a negation of validity.Meaning: No marriage is valid except with a guardian.And this is indicated by the saying of Allah the Blessed and Exalted:
and they have fulfilled their term, do not prevent them from remarrying their [former] husbands
فَبَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَلا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ أَنْ يَنْكِحْنَ أَزْوَاجَهُنَّSo the guardian is therefore: It must be one of her male agnates, not one who traces his lineage through a female.
However, the guardian must fear Allah the Mighty and Majestic regarding the one over whom Allah has appointed him. If a suitable man proposes to her, he should marry her if she consents. If a man who is not suitable proposes to her, he should not marry her to him, even if she consents to this man who is not suitable in religion. It is not permissible for her guardian to marry her to him, because he is accountable for her. If a man who does not pray proposes to her, he should not marry her to him. If a man known for open sinfulness, drinking intoxicants, and using hashish proposes to her, he should not marry her to him.Even if she consents and says: Even if she says she wants this man, he should not marry her to him.If she says: If she says she does not want to marry anyone else, should he marry her to him? No, he should not marry her to him. Even if she dies without marrying, there is no sin upon him, because this is a trust, and he must choose one who is suitable in religion and character, because he is a trustee over this woman.