Advice for fathers regarding the care of their sons.
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The Shaykh : First: We remind fathers that it is obligatory for them to take care of their sons and daughters when they begin their studies, by preparing everything they need, such as stationery or other items, because this is part of spending on them. Spending on children who are in financial straits and find nothing is obligatory, as Allah Blessed and Exalted is He said: [Al-Baqarah 2:233]. Then He said: [Al-Baqarah 2:233]. And he gives each of them what they need, whether it is the same amount as what he gave the other, or less, or more. Accordingly, those whose studies are advanced, such as those in high school or middle school, undoubtedly need more school supplies than those below them. So he gives these what they need and those what they need.
Likewise, regarding women—there is no sound in the voice—likewise, regarding women, their lessons may differ from what a woman needs compared to what a man or male needs, so he gives each person what they need.
Second: Fathers must strive to take care of their children, because children at the beginning of their studies see time as far away. They neglect their studies at the start of the year and become lazy, and one of them says: "When the exam approaches, I will review." This is undoubtedly wrong thinking, because if a person delays digesting the lessons until the last moment, he will not digest them, and they will remain superficial knowledge from which he does not benefit. But if he dedicates his efforts from the beginning of the year, he will receive the knowledge bit by bit and it will be firmly established in his mind. And when the time for the exam comes, he will not be exhausted by severe fatigue. Most people neglect their children and do not care about them. They do not say: "My son, what did you do today?" or "My daughter, what did you do today?" And this is a mistake, because the father is the head of the household, a shepherd in his home, and responsible for his flock.
Third: The children will mix with other children. And the girls will also mix with other girls. It is obligatory to observe who accompanies his son. Are his companions righteous or the opposite? This is because a companion is influenced by his companion, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:. So the father should ask: Who are the son's companions? Are they from the foolish or from the righteous? If they are from the foolish, he should shield his son from them by all means he can, through encouragement or warning. And if they are from the righteous, he should urge him to keep their company and to adopt their morals, because a companion has an effect, a profound effect.
Likewise, among the important matters is that the father should strive to follow up on his children's righteous deeds: in prayer, in ritual purity, in dutifulness, in truthfulness, so that they become righteous. And if they become righteous, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said in what is authentic from him:Sunan Abi Dawud 2880Sahih (Al-Albani). So the righteous child benefits you in life and after death. And the non-righteous one is not like the righteous one in benefit, neither in this world nor in the Hereafter.
Likewise: I advise our brothers to strive to enroll their children in Quran memorization circles in the mosques, because in these circles—praise be to Allah—much good is achieved: the student memorizes the words of Allah Mighty and Majestic from a young age, he is trained in proper conduct, and he utilizes his time, which is not time for regular studies, in what benefits him in religion and worldly affairs. Do not be deceived by what some people imagine, that if the student joins these circles, the sciences will expand for him, the sciences will increase for him, and he will neglect some of them. This imagination is from the dictation of Satan—may Allah protect us and you from it. And the teachers who teach in regular schools have testified that the children who join the Quran circles in the mosques are better, better in morals than the others, and more attentive to the regular lessons. Therefore, you will find them among the top students, which indicates that this illusion is a false illusion with no reality.
Upon the father is the mothers' provision and their clothing according to what is acceptable.
وَعَلَى الْمَوْلُودِ لَهُ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِAnd upon the [father's] heir is [a duty] like that [of the father].
وَعَلَى الْوَارِثِ مِثْلُ ذَلِكَLikewise, regarding women—there is no sound in the voice—likewise, regarding women, their lessons may differ from what a woman needs compared to what a man or male needs, so he gives each person what they need.
Second: Fathers must strive to take care of their children, because children at the beginning of their studies see time as far away. They neglect their studies at the start of the year and become lazy, and one of them says: "When the exam approaches, I will review." This is undoubtedly wrong thinking, because if a person delays digesting the lessons until the last moment, he will not digest them, and they will remain superficial knowledge from which he does not benefit. But if he dedicates his efforts from the beginning of the year, he will receive the knowledge bit by bit and it will be firmly established in his mind. And when the time for the exam comes, he will not be exhausted by severe fatigue. Most people neglect their children and do not care about them. They do not say: "My son, what did you do today?" or "My daughter, what did you do today?" And this is a mistake, because the father is the head of the household, a shepherd in his home, and responsible for his flock.
Third: The children will mix with other children. And the girls will also mix with other girls. It is obligatory to observe who accompanies his son. Are his companions righteous or the opposite? This is because a companion is influenced by his companion, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
The example of the righteous companion is like the carrier of musk: either he gives you a gift, or he sells it to you, or you find a pleasant scent from him. And the example of the bad companion is like the bellower of the bellows: either he burns your clothes, or you find a foul smell from him.
مثل الجليس الصالح كحامل المسك إما أن يحذيك - بمعنى : يعطيك هدية - وإما أن يبيعك وإما أن تجد منه رائحة طيبة. ومثل الجليس السوء كنافخ الكير إما أن يحرق ثيابك وإما أن تجد منه رائحة كريهةLikewise, among the important matters is that the father should strive to follow up on his children's righteous deeds: in prayer, in ritual purity, in dutifulness, in truthfulness, so that they become righteous. And if they become righteous, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said in what is authentic from him:
When a man dies, his action discontinues from him except three things, namely, perpetual sadaqah (charity), or the knowledge by which benefit is acquired, or a pious child who prays for him.
إذا مات الإنسان انقطع عمله إلا من ثلاثة : صدقة جارية، أو علم ينتفع به، أو ولد صالح يدعو لهLikewise: I advise our brothers to strive to enroll their children in Quran memorization circles in the mosques, because in these circles—praise be to Allah—much good is achieved: the student memorizes the words of Allah Mighty and Majestic from a young age, he is trained in proper conduct, and he utilizes his time, which is not time for regular studies, in what benefits him in religion and worldly affairs. Do not be deceived by what some people imagine, that if the student joins these circles, the sciences will expand for him, the sciences will increase for him, and he will neglect some of them. This imagination is from the dictation of Satan—may Allah protect us and you from it. And the teachers who teach in regular schools have testified that the children who join the Quran circles in the mosques are better, better in morals than the others, and more attentive to the regular lessons. Therefore, you will find them among the top students, which indicates that this illusion is a false illusion with no reality.