What is the advice for fathers regarding showing preference among their sons?
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Question:
The questioner says: In these days, there is a preference for distinguishing between the sons. He says: This creates enmity between the brothers among themselves. Please inform us of your guidance and advice to the fathers.
May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
It is not permissible for fathers to prefer some of their children over others; it is not permissible for them to do so. Rather, this is an abomination. When Bashir ibn Sa'd asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to give a slave boy to his son Nu'man, he said: He said: No. He said: Sahih al-Bukhari 2587 And he wanted the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to witness it, so he said: Sahih Muslim 1623f The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) called it injustice.
The point is: It is not permissible for the mother or the father to show preference among the children. Rather, it is obligatory to be equal among them, for the male is like the share of two females. It is not permissible to give Zayd this and leave the other; no, rather it is obligatory to be just among the children, their males and females. For this reason, in another hadith:Bulugh al-Maram 7:185? He said: Yes. He said: ; because if he differentiates between them, their conditions will worsen, and perhaps they will cut him off as well.
It is obligatory for the father, mother, grandfather, and grandmother not to show preference. Rather, it is obligatory to be just, for the male is like the share of two females. If he gives the male one hundred, he gives the female fifty. If he gives the male a thousand, he gives the female five hundred, and so on. It is obligatory to be just; because of his saying (peace and blessings be upon him):Sahih al-Bukhari 2587 And because of his saying to Bashir ibn Sa'd al-Ansari when he wanted him to witness his gift to Nu'man alone: Sahih Muslim 1623f And he said to Bashir: Bulugh al-Maram 7:185 He said: Yes. He said: Meaning: Do not single out some of them. Be equal among them so that they are all equal to you in kindness. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you and bless you.
The questioner says: In these days, there is a preference for distinguishing between the sons. He says: This creates enmity between the brothers among themselves. Please inform us of your guidance and advice to the fathers.
May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
It is not permissible for fathers to prefer some of their children over others; it is not permissible for them to do so. Rather, this is an abomination. When Bashir ibn Sa'd asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to give a slave boy to his son Nu'man, he said:
Did you give to all of your children?
أعطيت ولدك كلهم؟Be afraid of Allah, and be just to your children.
اتقوا الله واعدلوا بين أولادكمI cannot be witness to an injustice
إني لا أشهد على جورThe point is: It is not permissible for the mother or the father to show preference among the children. Rather, it is obligatory to be equal among them, for the male is like the share of two females. It is not permissible to give Zayd this and leave the other; no, rather it is obligatory to be just among the children, their males and females. For this reason, in another hadith:
Would you like them to be equal in their kind treatment of you?
أيسرك أن يكونوا لك في البر سواءSo it is like that.
فهكذاIt is obligatory for the father, mother, grandfather, and grandmother not to show preference. Rather, it is obligatory to be just, for the male is like the share of two females. If he gives the male one hundred, he gives the female fifty. If he gives the male a thousand, he gives the female five hundred, and so on. It is obligatory to be just; because of his saying (peace and blessings be upon him):
Be afraid of Allah, and be just to your children.
اتقوا الله واعدلوا بين أولادكمI cannot be witness to an injustice
إني لا أشهد على جورWould you like them to be equal in their kind treatment of you?
أيسرك أن يكونوا لك في البر سواء؟Then do not
فلا إذًاThe presenter: May Allah reward you and bless you.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.