General advice on dealing with women.

The Shaykh : The bottom line is that the rulings are numerous, and the explanation would be lengthy. But the most important thing I wish to point out is that it is obligatory for a person to fear Allah regarding his wife, to treat her with kindness, and to know that she will be his opponent on the Day of Resurrection if he neglects what is obligatory toward her. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said during the Farewell Pilgrimage, while addressing the people in the greatest gathering: . Therefore, a person must be the best of people to his family, after the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), based on his saying (peace and blessings be upon him): . He must take what is easy of her character and be lenient with the rest. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded this when he said: . He pointed to the balance. Do not be like a woman who, upon seeing one bad thing, says: "I have never seen any good at all." Be a decisive, patient man. Take what is good of her character and overlook what is not. Allah (Blessed and Exalted is He) also pointed to this matter when He said: . Do not rush. Be patient. Perhaps you dislike her today and will love her tomorrow. Perhaps she will wrong you today and do you good tomorrow. Be patient. Now, in our current time, do women make things easy in every way? No. So control yourself, be strict with her, endure, and do not rush into divorce. It is regrettable that some ignorant people, when they enter their home and ask, "Where is the tea?", and she says, "By Allah, the gas is out and I couldn't make tea," they get angry and say, "You are divorced." Who is at fault? Yes? It may be him or it may not be him. But it is not her, it is not her. Also, some people, when a dear guest enters and he takes the knife to slaughter the sheep, the guest says, "There is no need to slaughter. You and I are the same, it is one house. We are all brothers." He says, "I divorce her if I slaughter the sheep." Is he restricted to this thing? Yes? Absolutely not. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) says: . Furthermore, even swearing is not permissible at all, because you put your guest in a difficult position or he puts you in one. Yes, offer him hospitality. Insist on it, especially if you know he is shy. But to swear or bring up divorce, that is foolishness. My brother, treat people with ease. How good it is for a person to say: "So-and-so, I want you to have lunch with me!" He says: "No, by Allah, I have work. May Allah help you. I will go." He came as a guest and you wanted to honor him with something extra, and he says: "There is no need." You say: "Okay. I will bring you what you want." This is good character, and this is ease. As for making things difficult, that is not permissible at all. The summary now is: divorce is not something a person should rush into. But if the need arises for it, let him look to see if the woman is pregnant or not. If she is pregnant, does he divorce or not? He divorces, and the divorce takes effect. If she is menstruating, he does not divorce. He waits until she is pure, and then when she is pure, if he wishes, he divorces before he has intercourse with her, and if he wishes, he keeps her. If she is in a state of purity in which he has not had intercourse with her, does he divorce or not? Yes, he may divorce, because from the moment he divorces, the waiting period begins. If he is in a state of purity in which he has had intercourse with her, he does not divorce. Why? Because it is possible that she became pregnant from this intercourse, in which case her waiting period would be by giving birth. And it is possible that she did not become pregnant, in which case her waiting period would be by menstruation. So she is in a state of uncertainty. Therefore, it is not permissible to divorce her in this state. But we have excluded one issue, which is: if the woman is one who does not menstruate. Then he may divorce her whenever he wishes. Or if the woman is one with whom he has not had intercourse, he may divorce her even if she is menstruating, because she has no waiting period.
We will suffice with this much so that we can devote ourselves to the questions.
We ask Allah to guide us to the truth, to reward us and you for this meeting, and to grant us beneficial knowledge, righteous deeds, and a good, abundant provision.

The questioner : May Allah reward our honorable father and Shaykh with the best reward for these words. There are many questions.