The honorable Shaykh, I have become attached to a young woman from a distance, meaning without the other party’s knowledge, and she has taken over all my thoughts, and I find myself mentioning her in many of my moments. And I have
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The questioner : I have become attached to a young woman from a distance, meaning without the other party’s knowledge, and she has taken over all my thoughts, and I find myself mentioning her in many of my moments. And I have finally found a single solution, but this solution contains impurities of thought. Indeed, Allah has guided me, and praise be to Allah, to prayer. I have called upon Allah, the Exalted and Sublime, to grant me success in this trial of mine, and in every prayer I ask to forget everything and to stay away from all dark thoughts. Sometimes these thoughts occur to me during the times of prayer, and sometimes they occur at other times, and sometimes I think about her. Is my prayer accepted? Does mentioning her in this way conflict with my religion entirely, or is it otherwise? And do you have a comfortable solution for me, and what do you advise me? May you be rewarded.
The Shaykh : I say: Your attachment to this young woman is a matter that can befall a person. If a person protects himself, despite this attachment, from what Allah has forbidden, such as looking at this young woman to whom he is attached, or talking to her, or approaching her, then mere thinking and the talk of the soul does not make the servant sinful, especially since you are trying with all your might to give up mentioning her. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Bulugh al-Maram 8:133.
And my advice to you is that you try to marry her so that what is in your heart is removed, and your heart is at peace, and you are at ease, and you can devote yourself to the worship of Allah, Mighty and Majestic, both mentally and physically, and you can also devote yourself to the interests of your worldly life, both mentally and physically.
And these thoughts that come to you regarding this woman, along with your attempt to stay away from them, do not affect your worship in a way that invalidates it. Your prayer is not invalidated even if the mention of this woman passes through your heart, and the same applies to fasting and Hajj. But try, as much as you can, to turn away from her and to stop thinking about her. And know, yes, and teach yourself and say to her that thinking about this woman only increases the affliction and hardship. This is if it is difficult for you to reach the point of marrying her. If that becomes easy, then that is the only solution. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you, Shaykh Muhammad. His second question says.
The Shaykh : I say: Your attachment to this young woman is a matter that can befall a person. If a person protects himself, despite this attachment, from what Allah has forbidden, such as looking at this young woman to whom he is attached, or talking to her, or approaching her, then mere thinking and the talk of the soul does not make the servant sinful, especially since you are trying with all your might to give up mentioning her. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Allah, the Most High, has forgiven my followers what they contemplate on within themselves (i.e. evil thoughts) as long as they do not act upon or speak about them.
إن الله تجاوز عن أمتي ما حدّثت به أنفسها ما لم تعمل أو تتكلمAnd my advice to you is that you try to marry her so that what is in your heart is removed, and your heart is at peace, and you are at ease, and you can devote yourself to the worship of Allah, Mighty and Majestic, both mentally and physically, and you can also devote yourself to the interests of your worldly life, both mentally and physically.
And these thoughts that come to you regarding this woman, along with your attempt to stay away from them, do not affect your worship in a way that invalidates it. Your prayer is not invalidated even if the mention of this woman passes through your heart, and the same applies to fasting and Hajj. But try, as much as you can, to turn away from her and to stop thinking about her. And know, yes, and teach yourself and say to her that thinking about this woman only increases the affliction and hardship. This is if it is difficult for you to reach the point of marrying her. If that becomes easy, then that is the only solution. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you, Shaykh Muhammad. His second question says.