If one swears to his wife that she will not do such-and-such, otherwise he will divorce her, is it a divorce or does it carry the ruling of an oath?

The questioner : We have heard from you, Shaykh, in several tapes regarding the divorce of a man who divorces his wife without intending divorce, but rather intending an oath. That is, he swears to her, for example, that she will not go out or will not do such-and-such, and that its ruling is the ruling of an oath. So the question now is that the Lawgiver was strict regarding the issue of divorce in cases, for example, even in jest, so He said, for example, which includes divorce. Does this not contradict that? Because even in the case of jest, the divorce takes place, so why would we not make it take place in the case of...?

The Shaykh : They are not the same. The one who jests is not like the one who falls into a problem and wants to solve it by swearing to his wife or by stipulating that she will not do such-and-such, otherwise she is divorced. There is a great difference between this and that. As you know from the Shari'ah, from his saying (peace and blessings be upon him) , jesting in general is a matter that is not desirable and is not well-known, and a person’s engaging in it may lead him to some problems, even if they had no relation to divorce, for example. So this is disliked in the Shari'ah. As for the Muslim when he wants to discipline his wife so that she does not do something he dislikes, that is completely different. Therefore, it is not befitting to equate this with that due to the difference between the two matters. The Shari'ah that legislated qiyas (analogical reasoning) only legislated qiyas of the like upon the like, and not upon the unlike. So the one who jests is not like the serious one who wants to prevent his wife from a matter he does not desire and does not want, so they are not equal. Then, swearing by divorce is like a vow, like the one who says, "It is upon me to give charity, to pray such-and-such, if such-and-such happens." So he must fulfill this vow, unless there is harm in it for himself or in any aspect of his life. In that case, his way out is as he (peace and blessings be upon him) said, . So it is from this door, with the observation that divorce is a matter that involves the destruction of a building that the Wise Lawgiver established with conditions He imposed. So it is not befitting for such a divorce to occur except with deliberation, reflection, and caution. And so we find the Noble Qur'an hinting very strongly that divorce does not occur with such ease when it says . If they are determined to divorce. The joker and the one who jests is not determined to divorce, but this is a punishment for him. As for that one who wants to discipline his wife, he is not intending divorce; he intends something else. Yes.

The questioner : May Allah help you with us, O Shaykh.

The Shaykh : Excuse me, may Allah help you with me. Yes, that is right.