I am a married man, and I have sworn an oath of divorce in two cases: the first is that I swore by divorce that I would not do a certain thing myself.
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
Question: I am a married man, and I have sworn an oath of divorce in two cases: the first is that I swore by divorce that I would not do a certain thing myself, and because that action was so important to me, I found no one else to do it but myself, so I did it.And the second case: I was with some of my colleagues in our residence, and a quarrel broke out, and I disliked staying after it,So I said: so I said, “I am divorced three times if I sit with you.” I tried to leave, but some of my companions insisted that I stay with them, and indeed I stayed and did not leave. What is required of me in these two cases, and what must I do to preserve my wife?
Answer: It is not permissible for a Muslim to make divorce a weapon on his tongue constantly, and to utter divorce at the slightest cause, because this is playing with the law of Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He). Divorce is a serious matter and is hateful to Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He). Therefore, a Muslim must guard his tongue from uttering divorce except when there is a need for which divorce is prescribed. As for making divorce a substitute for an oath, and constantly waving it around and speaking with it, this is not permissible.
As for what happened to the questioner, in that he swore by divorce twice on two occasions, if he intended to make his wife’s divorce contingent upon the occurrence of this thing, whether he entered or did such-and-such, then his wife is divorced when the condition is met.
But if he intended merely an oath and merely to restrain himself from something, and he swore by divorce
to restrain himself from it, then this follows the course of an oath according to the correct opinion of the scholars, and the expiation for an oath applies to it. And if you intended to restrain yourself in this divorce that occurred from you in the two cases, and did not intend to make the divorce contingent, then it is obligatory for you to pay the expiation for an oath for each instance, meaning you owe two expiations.
An expiation for the first instance and an expiation for the second instance, by feeding ten poor people for each instance, giving each poor person half a sa' of food, or clothing ten poor people, giving each poor person a garment, or an izar and a rida' according to the custom of the country, or freeing a slave if possible. You have the choice among these three things.
And if you are unable to do any of them, then you fast for three days. And Allah knows best.
Question: In the case of ruling that the divorce has occurred from him in his statement, “I am divorced three times,” how many divorces occur, one or three?
Answer: The majority hold that three divorces occur if he says it with this wording.
Question: My wife quarrels a lot with my mother in Egypt, and my mother wants me to divorce her. I am torn between my mother and my children, and their fate after the divorce, knowing that I am a pious young man, praise be to Allah, and I do not want to anger Allah with divorce or anger my mother, whom Allah has commanded us to obey. I have read that 'Abdullah ibn 'Umar had a wife he loved, and his mother wanted him to divorce her, so he went to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), and he ordered him to divorce her. We ask for a response. May Allah reward you.
Answer: First: the case of Ibn 'Umar was not with his mother, but with his father, 'Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him). As for the situation you mentioned regarding your wife and your mother, that she quarrels with her, and that your mother asks you to divorce her, it is clear that this woman is harming your mother, and it is not permissible for you to condone that, if you are able to take her by the hand and prevent her from this quarreling, and if you are able to reconcile between your mother and your wife, then it is incumbent upon you to do so, and do not go to divorce. Or if you are able to have your wife in one residence and your mother in another residence, and you are able to do that, then this is also another solution. But if you are unable to do any of that, and your wife continues to quarrel with your mother and anger her, then at that time there is no choice but divorce, in obedience to your mother and to remove the harm from her. And whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will replace it with something better. In any case, deal with the matters as best you can, and perhaps Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) will rectify your affair. Do not make divorce anything but the last resort, if you are unable to find any other solution.
Answer: It is not permissible for a Muslim to make divorce a weapon on his tongue constantly, and to utter divorce at the slightest cause, because this is playing with the law of Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He). Divorce is a serious matter and is hateful to Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He). Therefore, a Muslim must guard his tongue from uttering divorce except when there is a need for which divorce is prescribed. As for making divorce a substitute for an oath, and constantly waving it around and speaking with it, this is not permissible.
As for what happened to the questioner, in that he swore by divorce twice on two occasions, if he intended to make his wife’s divorce contingent upon the occurrence of this thing, whether he entered or did such-and-such, then his wife is divorced when the condition is met.
But if he intended merely an oath and merely to restrain himself from something, and he swore by divorce
to restrain himself from it, then this follows the course of an oath according to the correct opinion of the scholars, and the expiation for an oath applies to it. And if you intended to restrain yourself in this divorce that occurred from you in the two cases, and did not intend to make the divorce contingent, then it is obligatory for you to pay the expiation for an oath for each instance, meaning you owe two expiations.
An expiation for the first instance and an expiation for the second instance, by feeding ten poor people for each instance, giving each poor person half a sa' of food, or clothing ten poor people, giving each poor person a garment, or an izar and a rida' according to the custom of the country, or freeing a slave if possible. You have the choice among these three things.
And if you are unable to do any of them, then you fast for three days. And Allah knows best.
Question: In the case of ruling that the divorce has occurred from him in his statement, “I am divorced three times,” how many divorces occur, one or three?
Answer: The majority hold that three divorces occur if he says it with this wording.
Question: My wife quarrels a lot with my mother in Egypt, and my mother wants me to divorce her. I am torn between my mother and my children, and their fate after the divorce, knowing that I am a pious young man, praise be to Allah, and I do not want to anger Allah with divorce or anger my mother, whom Allah has commanded us to obey. I have read that 'Abdullah ibn 'Umar had a wife he loved, and his mother wanted him to divorce her, so he went to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), and he ordered him to divorce her. We ask for a response. May Allah reward you.
Answer: First: the case of Ibn 'Umar was not with his mother, but with his father, 'Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him). As for the situation you mentioned regarding your wife and your mother, that she quarrels with her, and that your mother asks you to divorce her, it is clear that this woman is harming your mother, and it is not permissible for you to condone that, if you are able to take her by the hand and prevent her from this quarreling, and if you are able to reconcile between your mother and your wife, then it is incumbent upon you to do so, and do not go to divorce. Or if you are able to have your wife in one residence and your mother in another residence, and you are able to do that, then this is also another solution. But if you are unable to do any of that, and your wife continues to quarrel with your mother and anger her, then at that time there is no choice but divorce, in obedience to your mother and to remove the harm from her. And whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will replace it with something better. In any case, deal with the matters as best you can, and perhaps Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) will rectify your affair. Do not make divorce anything but the last resort, if you are unable to find any other solution.