Is visiting graves restricted to a specific day, such as the festivals or Friday, and what is the response to what Ibn al-Qayyim mentioned in his book *Al-Ruh* that they are visited on Friday?
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The questioner : A questioner asks: Is visiting graves restricted to a specific day, such as the festivals or Friday, or a specific time of day, or is it general? And what is the response to what Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) mentioned in his book *Al-Ruh* that they are visited on Friday? Does the deceased know of the living person’s visit to him? Where should the visitor stand relative to the grave? Is it required that he be at the grave, or is it permissible even if he is far from it?
The Shaykh : Visiting graves is a recommended practice (sunnah) for men, because it is established by the saying and the action of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). He (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan Ibn Majah 1569Sahih (Darussalam) It is also established that he (peace and blessings be upon him) used to visit them. Visiting is not restricted to a specific day; rather, it is recommended at night and during the day, on all days of the week. It is established in the authentic collections that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) went out to al-Baqi’ at night, visited them, and greeted them. Visiting is a recommended practice for men, but it is not permissible for women to leave their homes to visit the cemetery. However, if they pass by it and stop to greet the deceased with the greeting reported from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), there is nothing wrong with that, because this is not the intended purpose. This is how the report in *Sahih Muslim* from Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) is understood, and by this, the hadith in *Sahih Muslim* and the hadith in the *Sunan* are reconciled: As for restricting the visit to Friday or the days of the festivals, there is no basis for it. There is nothing in the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) indicating that. As for whether the deceased knows who is visiting him, a hadith was reported by the people of the *Sunan*, authenticated by Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr, and approved by Ibn al-Qayyim in his book *Al-Ruh*:
Yes.
The questioner : He asks: Where does he stand?
The Shaykh : The visitor, we say, stands at the head of the deceased, facing him, and says: “Peace be upon you, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings. O Allah, forgive him, have mercy on him, grant him well-being, and pardon him.” He then supplicates for him as he wishes, and then departs. This is distinct from the general supplication made for visiting the cemetery in general, in which he says: “Peace be upon you, abode of a people of believers. And we, if Allah wills, will be joining you. May Allah have mercy on those of us who have gone before and those who come after. We ask Allah for well-being for us and for you. O Allah, do not deprive us of their reward, and do not test us after them, and forgive us and them.”
The Shaykh : Visiting graves is a recommended practice (sunnah) for men, because it is established by the saying and the action of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). He (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Visit the graves, for they will remind you of the Hereafter.
زوروا القبور فإنها تذكركم الآخرةThe Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed the women who visit the graves.
أن الرسول عليه الصلاة والسلام لعن زائرات القبورWhoever greets a deceased person whom he knew in this world, Allah returns his spirit to him, and he returns the greeting.
أن من سلم على ميت وهو يعرفه في الدنيا رد الله عليه روحه فرد عليه السلامYes.
The questioner : He asks: Where does he stand?
The Shaykh : The visitor, we say, stands at the head of the deceased, facing him, and says: “Peace be upon you, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings. O Allah, forgive him, have mercy on him, grant him well-being, and pardon him.” He then supplicates for him as he wishes, and then departs. This is distinct from the general supplication made for visiting the cemetery in general, in which he says: “Peace be upon you, abode of a people of believers. And we, if Allah wills, will be joining you. May Allah have mercy on those of us who have gone before and those who come after. We ask Allah for well-being for us and for you. O Allah, do not deprive us of their reward, and do not test us after them, and forgive us and them.”