When the deceased is buried, his family leaves him for forty days without visiting him, and after that they go to visit him on the pretext that it is not permissible to visit the deceased before forty days.
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The questioner : When the deceased is buried, his family leaves him for forty days without visiting him, and after that they go to visit him on the pretext that it is not permissible to visit the deceased before forty days. What is the ruling on this from the perspective of Islamic law? May you be rewarded.
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and I send prayers and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad, the Seal of the Prophets and the Imam of the Pious, and upon his family and his Companions, and those who follow them with excellence until the Day of Judgment. As for what follows, before answering this question, it should be made clear that visiting graves is a recommended practice (sunnah). It is a recommended practice for men, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded it after he had initially forbidden it. He said (peace and blessings be upon him):Musnad Ahmad 1236, 1237Sahih, because of corroborating evidence; this is a da'eef isnad because of the weakness of Ali bin Zaid and Rabee'ah bin an-Nabighah and his father are unknown], Sahih because of corroborating eviden (Darussalam) The visitor who visits the graves does so in obedience to the command of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) and by considering the state of these deceased people who were with him yesterday on the surface of the earth, eating as he eats, drinking as he drinks, wearing as he wears, and enjoying the world as he enjoys it. Now they are detained in their graves by their deeds. They have no friend or intimate companion; their only companion is their deed, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: So the visitor should consider the state of these people.
The third benefit is that he remembers the Hereafter, and that the abode and the return is to the Hereafter, and that this world is a place of passage and not a place of permanence. Moreover, the graves are not the final abode, but after them comes what follows them, namely the Last Day, which is described by Allah as a Day of the End, with no day after it. As for remaining in the graves, it is a visit, as Allah the Exalted said: It is mentioned that a Bedouin heard a reciter reading this verse: and he said: "By Allah, the visitor is not a resident, and behind this visit there is a matter of residence."
On this occasion, I would like to point out a phrase that some people say without reflection or consideration of its meaning. When they speak about the deceased, they say: "Then they placed him in his final abode," or a similar phrase.
The important point is that they say: "to his final abode" If we were to scrutinize the meaning of this phrase, it would imply the denial of the Resurrection, because if the grave is the final abode, it means that there is no Resurrection after it. This is a serious matter, because belief in Allah and the Last Day is a condition of faith and Islam. However, it appears to me that the common people say it without considering its meaning or without reflection. But one must be aware of this, and it is forbidden for a person to use this expression. If he believes what it implies, it is disbelief, because whoever believes that the grave is the final abode and that there is nothing after it has denied the Last Day.
The fourth benefit of visiting graves is that the visitor greets the people of the graves and makes du'a for them, saying: These are four benefits of visiting graves.
As for the one who visits graves to make du'a at them, that is a religious innovation (bid'ah). The cemetery is not a place intended for du'a, so one should not go to call upon Allah at the grave of a righteous man or the like.
More severe than that is the one who goes to the cemetery to call upon the people of the graves, seeking their aid and help. This is major shirk (associating partners with Allah) which Allah does not forgive. Allah the Mighty and Majestic said:[Ghafir 40:60] And Allah the Mighty and Majestic said: [Ash-Shu'ara 26:213] There are many verses in this meaning. So whoever calls upon other than Allah to fulfill his need from these deceased people has associated partners with Allah in major shirk.
It should be known that visiting graves is not restricted to a specific day or a specific night. Rather, a person visits them to remember the Hereafter. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) visited al-Baqi' one time at night, and this is evidence that a specific day is not a condition for the visit.
As for what concerns the questioner's question, which is that his family does not visit him until forty days have passed, this has no basis. Rather, a person may visit the grave of his relative from the second day after burial. However, it is not recommended for a person, when he has a deceased relative, to attach his heart to him and to frequent his grave excessively, because this renews his sorrows, makes him forget the remembrance of Allah the Mighty and Majestic, and makes his greatest concern to be at this grave. He may also be afflicted with whispers, superstitions, and bad thoughts because of this. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you. We have learned, O honorable Shaykh, that visiting graves is exclusively for men and is forbidden for women. Given the large number of messages received by this program from Arab and Islamic countries, we say:
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and I send prayers and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad, the Seal of the Prophets and the Imam of the Pious, and upon his family and his Companions, and those who follow them with excellence until the Day of Judgment. As for what follows, before answering this question, it should be made clear that visiting graves is a recommended practice (sunnah). It is a recommended practice for men, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded it after he had initially forbidden it. He said (peace and blessings be upon him):
I used to forbid you to visit the graves, but now visit them, for they remind you of the Hereafter.
كنت نهيتكم عن زيارة القبور، فزوروها فإنها تذكّركم الأخرةWhen a person dies, three things follow him: his wealth, his family, and his deeds. Two of them return, and one remains. The wealth and the family return, and the deed remains.
إذا مات الإنسان اتبعه ثلاثة: ماله وأهله وعمله فيرجع اثنان، ويبقى واحد، يرجع المال والأهل، ويبقى العملThe third benefit is that he remembers the Hereafter, and that the abode and the return is to the Hereafter, and that this world is a place of passage and not a place of permanence. Moreover, the graves are not the final abode, but after them comes what follows them, namely the Last Day, which is described by Allah as a Day of the End, with no day after it. As for remaining in the graves, it is a visit, as Allah the Exalted said:
Competition in [worldly things] has distracted you until you visit the graveyards
أَلْهَاكُمُ التَّكَاثُرُ * حَتَّى زُرْتُمُ الْمَقَابِرَUntil you visit the graveyards
حَتَّى زُرْتُمُ الْمَقَابِرَOn this occasion, I would like to point out a phrase that some people say without reflection or consideration of its meaning. When they speak about the deceased, they say: "Then they placed him in his final abode," or a similar phrase.
The important point is that they say: "to his final abode" If we were to scrutinize the meaning of this phrase, it would imply the denial of the Resurrection, because if the grave is the final abode, it means that there is no Resurrection after it. This is a serious matter, because belief in Allah and the Last Day is a condition of faith and Islam. However, it appears to me that the common people say it without considering its meaning or without reflection. But one must be aware of this, and it is forbidden for a person to use this expression. If he believes what it implies, it is disbelief, because whoever believes that the grave is the final abode and that there is nothing after it has denied the Last Day.
The fourth benefit of visiting graves is that the visitor greets the people of the graves and makes du'a for them, saying:
Peace be upon you, people of the abode, from among the believers and the Muslims. And we, if Allah wills, are to follow you. May Allah have mercy on those of us who have gone before and those who come after. We ask Allah for well-being for us and for you.
السلام عليكم أهل الديار من المؤمنين والمسلمين وإنا إن شاء الله بكم لاحقون، يرحم الله المستقدمين منا ومنكم والمستأخرين، نسأل الله لنا ولكم العافيةAs for the one who visits graves to make du'a at them, that is a religious innovation (bid'ah). The cemetery is not a place intended for du'a, so one should not go to call upon Allah at the grave of a righteous man or the like.
More severe than that is the one who goes to the cemetery to call upon the people of the graves, seeking their aid and help. This is major shirk (associating partners with Allah) which Allah does not forgive. Allah the Mighty and Majestic said:
And your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you." Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible.
وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ إِنَّ الَّذِينَ يَسْتَكْبِرُونَ عَنْ عِبَادَتِي سَيَدْخُلُونَ جَهَنَّمَ دَاخِرِينَSo do not invoke with Allah another deity and [thus] be among the punished.
فَلا تَدْعُ مَعَ اللَّهِ إِلَهًا ءاخَرَ فَتَكُونَ مِنَ الْمُعَذَّبِينَIt should be known that visiting graves is not restricted to a specific day or a specific night. Rather, a person visits them to remember the Hereafter. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) visited al-Baqi' one time at night, and this is evidence that a specific day is not a condition for the visit.
As for what concerns the questioner's question, which is that his family does not visit him until forty days have passed, this has no basis. Rather, a person may visit the grave of his relative from the second day after burial. However, it is not recommended for a person, when he has a deceased relative, to attach his heart to him and to frequent his grave excessively, because this renews his sorrows, makes him forget the remembrance of Allah the Mighty and Majestic, and makes his greatest concern to be at this grave. He may also be afflicted with whispers, superstitions, and bad thoughts because of this. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you. We have learned, O honorable Shaykh, that visiting graves is exclusively for men and is forbidden for women. Given the large number of messages received by this program from Arab and Islamic countries, we say: