A woman inquires about the obstacles to supplication, saying: I called upon Allah to grant me a righteous husband, but unfortunately, those who propose to me are not so, and one person has proposed to me.
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner : She inquires about the obstacles to supplication, saying: I called upon Allah to grant me a righteous husband, but unfortunately, those who propose to me are not so. One person has proposed to me who appears to be righteous, but he was already married. I rejected him because I cannot psychologically accept being the second wife, nor can I accept that my happiness comes at the expense of the misery of others. Am I sinful in rejecting him? She also says: I am haunted by the feeling that I will remain unmarried for the rest of my life, and no matter how much I supplicate, it will not be answered.
The Shaykh : We seek refuge in Allah.
The questioner : Is this feeling a realization of the saying of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him): "The heart of the believer is the proof of his faith"?
The Shaykh : First, we say to her and to others that Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, may withhold the answer to a person's supplication for a good that He intends for that person. Therefore, a person should not be hasty, but should persist in supplication. When a person supplicates to his Lord, he will not be disappointed.
First, supplication is an act of worship for which one is rewarded and recompensed. Second, Allah the Exalted either answers his supplication, or stores it up for him on the Day of Resurrection, or averts from him an evil equivalent to what he supplicated for, or more. Nevertheless, we say: persist in supplication, for you are only supplicating to One who is Rich, Generous, and Bountiful. Do not despair. For this reason, it came in the hadith:Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3387Sahih (Darussalam) They said: How does one hasten, O Messenger of Allah? He said: .
So we say to this woman: Do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Repeat your supplication. As for the fact that a man of religion proposes to her, but he has another wife, and she refuses to accept him because of the other wife, I do not see that for her. As long as the man is righteous, of good character, and of religion, let her accept him.
And her saying, "I do not like my happiness to be at the expense of the misery of others," is a mistake. For others should not be made miserable by that. It is not permissible for a woman to be overcome by jealousy such that she is made miserable if her husband marries, because plural marriage is something that a servant should do if he has the financial and physical capacity and is secure from injustice and bias. For in having many wives there is an increase in children, an increase in the Ummah, and the protection of the chastity of many women who remain in their homes. It is a blessing from Allah, Mighty and Majestic. And if there were no wisdom in plural marriage, Allah, Mighty and Majestic, would not have legislated it nor permitted it. Yes, if a person has little money, or is physically weak, or fears that he will not be just, then here we say: it is better that you restrict yourself to what you have and ask Allah for success. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : We seek refuge in Allah.
The questioner : Is this feeling a realization of the saying of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him): "The heart of the believer is the proof of his faith"?
The Shaykh : First, we say to her and to others that Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, may withhold the answer to a person's supplication for a good that He intends for that person. Therefore, a person should not be hasty, but should persist in supplication. When a person supplicates to his Lord, he will not be disappointed.
First, supplication is an act of worship for which one is rewarded and recompensed. Second, Allah the Exalted either answers his supplication, or stores it up for him on the Day of Resurrection, or averts from him an evil equivalent to what he supplicated for, or more. Nevertheless, we say: persist in supplication, for you are only supplicating to One who is Rich, Generous, and Bountiful. Do not despair. For this reason, it came in the hadith:
One of you will be responded to, so long as he is not hasty
يُجاب لأحدكم ما لم يعجلHe supplicates and supplicates and supplicates, then he says: It has not been answered for me, or a word to that effect, and he gives up supplication.
يدعو ويدعو ويدعو فيقول لم يجَب لي أو كلمة نحوها فيستحسر عن الدعاءSo we say to this woman: Do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Repeat your supplication. As for the fact that a man of religion proposes to her, but he has another wife, and she refuses to accept him because of the other wife, I do not see that for her. As long as the man is righteous, of good character, and of religion, let her accept him.
And her saying, "I do not like my happiness to be at the expense of the misery of others," is a mistake. For others should not be made miserable by that. It is not permissible for a woman to be overcome by jealousy such that she is made miserable if her husband marries, because plural marriage is something that a servant should do if he has the financial and physical capacity and is secure from injustice and bias. For in having many wives there is an increase in children, an increase in the Ummah, and the protection of the chastity of many women who remain in their homes. It is a blessing from Allah, Mighty and Majestic. And if there were no wisdom in plural marriage, Allah, Mighty and Majestic, would not have legislated it nor permitted it. Yes, if a person has little money, or is physically weak, or fears that he will not be just, then here we say: it is better that you restrict yourself to what you have and ask Allah for success. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you, O Shaykh.